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15 Damn Fine Twin Peaks Products

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Feliz Navidad

With the revival of Twin Peaks, we can all go back to the small town where a yellow light still means slow down, not speed up. Here are some products to enjoy alongside the premiere of the new season of everyone's favorite cult drama.

1. THE SECRET HISTORY OF TWIN PEAKS: A NOVEL; $20

The Novel

As a companion to the third season, co-creator Mark Frost wrote a multimedia novel that covers the larger history and culture of Twin Peaks. The story is told through an FBI dossier, with a timeline that starts with journals of Lewis and Clark and ends with the beginning of season three. The book has illustrations, maps, and newspaper clippings to make it feel more convincing.

Find it: Amazon

2. CHERRY PIE FILLING; $16

Cherry pie filling

We'll never get to try the damn good coffee and pie served at the Double R diner, but we can still imagine it. This jar of cherry pie filling from the Salish Lodge & Spa, which was used to film the exteriors of the Great Northern Hotel, will get you one step closer to the real deal.

Find it: Salish Lodge

3. ACTION FIGURES; $27

Action figures

Create your own mystery with these Funko action figures of Agent Dale Cooper, Laura Palmer, Bob, and the Log Lady. The 3-3/4-inch-tall figures are great for displaying in your rustic, wood-paneled home.

Find it: Amazon

4. PIN-UPS

Pin ups

Emma Munger reimagines the characters of Twin Peaks as sexy pin-up models. You can check out her whole series, which includes Dale Cooper, Audrey Horne, Annie Blackburn, and plenty of characters from other non-Twin Peaks '90s classics.

Find it: Society6

5. OWL CAVE MAP SHIRT; $18

Owl cave shirt

Get the intriguing Native American petroglyph on a shirt and always know the right way to Glastonbury Grove.

Find it: Amazon

6. FISH IN THE PERCOLATOR PIN; $8

Fish pin

Don't drink that coffee! This enamel pin features a minor but memorable joke in the first episode of Twin Peaks .

Find it: Etsy

7. LOG PILLOW; $15

Log pillow

Cuddle up with your log without getting any splinters. This log pillow from Kikkerland is perfect for Log Lady costumes or just snuggling up on your couch.

Find it: Amazon

8. PERFUME; $88

Perfume

You can't smell a television show, but it's easy to imagine what the world of Twin Peaks might smell like. This trio of scents, created by a perfumer who lives in the forests of the Pacific Northwest, uses scents of evergreen, cedar, and more mysterious ingredients in a line aptly called the “Wonderful & Strange Liquid Music Trio.”

Find it: Matriarch

9. THE SOUNDTRACK ON VINYL; $36

Vinyl

The amazing soundtrack of Twin Peaks has been reissued for your enjoyment. It's pressed on 180-gram brown vinyl that's meant to look like coffee. The record comes with a lyric sheet and liner notes, all housed in a sleeve with artwork by Sam Smith.

Find it: Amazon

10. FIRE WALK WITH ME NECKLACE; $20

Necklace

Get a necklace dedicated to the prequel movie Twin Peaks: Fire Walk With Me. The piece of jewelry is shaped like one of the Best Friends necklaces in the movie (which also play a role in the show).

Find it: Etsy

11. TWIN PEAKS TAPESTRY; $37

Tapestry

Get the natural beauty of Washington State right on your wall with this tapestry. It comes in three sizes: 60, 80, or 104 inches long.

Find it: Society6

12. SADDLE SHOES; $40

Saddle shoes

Do your best Audrey Horne impression with these saddle shoes. Now all you need is a retro sweater and fierce eyebrows.

Find it: ModCloth

13. SWEATER; $90

Sweater

Speaking of sweaters, this jumper from Feliz Navidad is just begging to enter your wardrobe. The sweater is knitted and sewn in Buenos Aires, Argentina. Although pricey, the company offers a payment plan without interest.

Find it: Feliz Navidad

14. RECIPE BOOK; $18

Recipe book

The best way to enjoy the premiere of the third season is with the right food. This unofficial cookbook will help you make pie and other meals based off the show.

Find it: Amazon

15. KEY CHAIN; $9

Keychain

Get a retro hotel keychain for the Great Northern Hotel, where Agent Cooper stayed and many of the show's pivotal scenes took place.

Find it: Amazon

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10 Witty Facts About The Marx Brothers
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Talented as individuals and magnificent as a team, the Marx Brothers conquered every medium from the vaudeville stage to the silver screen. Today, we’re tipping our hats (and tooting our horns) to Groucho, Harpo, Chico, Zeppo, and Gummo—on the 50th anniversary of Groucho's passing.

1. A RUNAWAY MULE INSPIRED THEM TO TAKE A STAB AT COMEDY.

Julius, Milton, and Arthur Marx originally aspired to be professional singers. In 1907, the boys joined a group called “The Three Nightingales.” Managed by their mother, Minnie, the ensemble performed covers of popular songs in theaters all over the country. As Nightingales, the brothers enjoyed some moderate success, but they might never have found their true calling if it weren’t for an unruly equid. During a 1907 gig at the Nacogdoches Opera House in East Texas, someone interrupted the performance by barging in and shouting “Mule’s loose!” Immediately, the crowd raced out to watch the newly-liberated animal. Back inside, Julius seethed. Furious at having lost the spotlight, he skewered his audience upon their return. “The jackass is the finest flower of Tex-ass!” he shouted, among many other ad-libbed jabs. Rather than boo, the patrons roared with laughter. Word of his wit soon spread and demand for these Marx brothers grew.

2. THEY RECEIVED THEIR STAGE NAMES DURING A POKER GAME.

In May of 1914, the five Marxes were playing cards with standup comedian Art Fisher. Inspired by a popular comic strip character known as “Sherlocko the Monk,” he decided that the boys could use some new nicknames. Leonard’s was a no-brainer. Given his girl-crazy, “chick-chasing” lifestyle, Fisher dubbed him “Chicko” (later, this was shortened to “Chico”). Arthur loved playing the harp and thus became “Harpo.” An affinity for soft gumshoes earned Milton the alias “Gummo.” Finally, Julius was both cynical and often seen wearing a “grouch bag”—wherein he’d store small objects like marbles and candy—around his neck. Thus, “Groucho” was born. For the record, nobody knows how Herbert Marx came to be known as “Zeppo.”

3. GROUCHO WORE HIS TRADEMARK GREASEPAINT MUSTACHE BECAUSE HE HATED MORE REALISTIC MODELS.

Michael Ochs Archives/Hulton Archive/Getty Images

Phony, glue-on facial hair can be a pain to remove and reapply, so Groucho would simply paint a ‘stache and some exaggerated eyebrows onto his face. However, the mustache he later rocked as the host of his famous quiz show You Bet Your Life was 100 percent real.

4. HARPO WAS A SELF-TAUGHT HARPIST.

Without any formal training (or the ability to read sheet music), the second-oldest Marx brother developed a unique style that he never stopped improving upon. “Dad really loved playing the harp, and he did it constantly,” his son, Bill Marx, wrote. “Maybe the first multi-tasker ever, he even had a harp in the bathroom so he could play when he sat on the toilet!”

5. THE VERY FIRST MARX BROTHERS MOVIE WAS NEVER RELEASED.

Financed by Groucho, Chico, Harpo, Zeppo, and a handful of other investors, Humor Risk was filmed in 1921. Accounts differ, but most scholars agree that the silent picture—which would have served as the family’s cinematic debut—never saw completion. Despite this, an early screening of the work-in-progress was reportedly held in the Bronx. When Humor Risk failed to impress there, production halted. By Marx Brothers standards, it would’ve been an unusual flick, with Harpo playing a heroic detective opposite a villainous Groucho character.

6. GUMMO AND ZEPPO BECAME TALENT AGENTS.

World War I forced Gummo to quit the stage. Following his return, the veteran decided that performing was no longer for him and instead started a raincoat business. Zeppo—the youngest brother—then assumed Gummo’s role as the troupe’s straight-talking foil. A brilliant businessman, Zeppo eventually break away to found the talent agency Zeppo Marx Inc., which grew into Hollywood’s third-largest, representing superstars like Clark Gable, Lucille Ball, and—of course—the other three Marx Brothers. Gummo, who joined the company in 1935, was charged with handling Groucho, Harpo, and Chico’s needs.

7. CHICO ONCE LAUNCHED A BIG BAND GROUP.

Chico took advantage of an extended break between Marx brothers movies to realize a lifelong dream. A few months before The Big Store hit cinemas in 1941, he co-founded the Chico Marx Orchestra: a swinging jazz band that lasted until July of 1943. Short-lived as the group was, however, it still managed to recruit some amazing talent—including singer/composer Mel Tormé, who would go on to help write the “The Christmas Song (Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire)” in 1945.

8. THEY TESTED OUT NEW MATERIAL FOR A NIGHT AT THE OPERA IN FRONT OF LIVE AUDIENCES.

With the script still being drafted, MGM made the inspired choice to let the brothers perform key scenes in such places as Seattle, Salt Lake City, and San Francisco. Once a given joke was made, the Marxes meticulously timed the ensuing laughter, which let them know exactly how much silence to leave after repeating the gag on film. According to Harpo, this had the added benefit of shortening A Night at the Opera’s production period. “We didn’t have to rehearse,” he explained. “[We just] got onto the set and let the cameras roll.”

9. GROUCHO TEMPORARILY HOSTED THE TONIGHT SHOW.

Jack Paar bid the job farewell on March 29, 1962. Months before their star’s departure, NBC offered Paar’s Tonight Show seat to Groucho, who had established himself as a razor-sharp, well-liked host during You Bet Your Life’s 14-year run. Though Marx turned the network down, he later served as a guest host for two weeks while Johnny Carson prepared to take over the gig. When Carson finally made his Tonight Show debut on October 1, it was Groucho who introduced him.

10. SPY MAGAZINE USED A MARX BROTHERS MOVIE TO PRANK U.S. CONGRESSMEN.

Duck Soup takes place in Freedonia, a fictional country over which the eccentric Rufus T. Firefly (Groucho) presides. In 1993, 60 years after the movie’s release, this imaginary nation made headlines by embarrassing some real-life politicians. Staffers from Spy got in touch with around 20 freshmen in the House of Representatives, asking some variation on the question “Do you approve of what we’re doing to stop ethnic cleansing in Freedonia?” A few lawmakers took the bait. Representative Corrine Brown (D-Florida) professed to approve of America’s presence in Freedonia, saying “I think all of those situations are very, very sad, and I just think we need to take action to assist the people.” Across the aisle, Steve Buyer (R-Indiana) concurred. “Yeah,” he said, “it’s a different situation than the Middle East.”

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‘Total Eclipse of the Heart’ Could Have Been a Meat Loaf Song
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Imagine a world in which Bonnie Tyler was not the star performer on the Royal Caribbean Total Eclipse Cruise. Imagine if, instead, as the moon crossed in front of the sun in the path of totality on August 21, 2017, the performer belting out the 1983 hit for cruise ship stargazers was Meat Loaf?

It could have been. Because yes, as Atlas Obscura informs us, the song was originally written for the bestselling rocker (and actor) of Bat Out of Hell fame, not the husky-voiced Welsh singer. Meat Loaf had worked on his 1977 record Bat Out of Hell with Jim Steinman, the composer and producer who would go on to work with the likes of Celine Dion and Barbra Streisand (oddly enough, he also composed Hulk Hogan’s theme song on an album released by the WWE). “Total Eclipse of the Heart” was meant for Meat Loaf’s follow-up album to Bat Out of Hell.

But Meat Loaf’s fruitful collaboration with Steinman was about to end. In the wake of his bestselling record, the artist was going through a rough patch, mentally, financially, and in terms of his singing ability. And the composer wasn’t about to stick around. As Steinman would tell CD Review magazine in 1989 (an article he has since posted on his personal website), "Basically I only stopped working with him because he lost his voice as far as I was concerned. It was his voice I was friends with really.” Harsh, Jim, harsh.

Steinman began working with Bonnie Tyler in 1982, and in 1983, she released her fifth album, Faster Than the Speed of Night, including “Total Eclipse of the Heart.” It sold 6 million copies.

Tyler and Steinman both dispute that the song was written specifically for Meat Loaf. “Meat Loaf was apparently very annoyed that Jim gave that to me,” she told The Irish Times in 2014. “But Jim said he didn’t write it for Meat Loaf, that he only finished it after meeting me.”

There isn’t a whole lot of bad blood between the two singers, though. In 1989, they released a joint compilation album: Heaven and Hell.

[h/t Atlas Obscura]

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