14 Secrets of College Counselors

Applying to college can be an overwhelming experience. College counselors guide students and families through the entire process, whether it’s studying for standardized tests, writing application essays, asking teachers for letters of recommendation, or researching financial aid options. Unlike admissions counselors, who typically work for a college, college counselors work for high schools or as independent consultants. We spoke to a few to find out what they really think about helicopter parents, why perfect SAT scores aren’t always perfect, and how they help students deal with rejection letters.

1. THEIR FAVORITE STUDENTS DON’T HAVE STRAIGHT As.

While excellent grades are a boon to any college application, college counselors often enjoy working with students who don’t have straight As even more. “Contrary to what you might assume, it’s not the straight-A student who is most fun; it's truly the 2.5 to 2.9 [GPA] who struggles but itches to succeed,” Mae Greenwald, a college counselor at a private high school in Southern California, says. When this type of student is able to figure out what areas of study make them tick, a college counselor can help them choose a college that’s an ideal match for their passions, and that’s a more satisfying process than helping a student who is already well on their way. “Watching maturity set in and being able to set a mediocre student on a path to educational and career success is more satisfying than winning the lottery,” Greenwald explains.

2. THEY’RE WARY OF PERFECT SAT SCORES.

Perfect SAT scores are less helpful than you might think (unless you have the grades to match), according to Houston-based college essay consultant Katerina Manoff. “For an admissions officer, that’s a red flag that a student got a lot of coaching,” she explains in a Reddit AMA. “If you have the intellectual horsepower to do well on the SAT, what were you doing for the last 3.5 years of high school?” Manoff advises students, especially those with less-than-stellar grades, to focus on extracurricular achievements and passions such as visual art, drama, and sports rather than solely studying for the SAT.

3. THEY DEAL WITH VERY EMOTIONAL STUDENTS AND PARENTS.

Stressed student talks to counselor.

Because the end of high school marks an important rite of passage from childhood to early adulthood, students and parents often feel a rollercoaster of emotions during this time. Like a therapist or life coach, college counselors have to show empathy and navigate complex emotions. Dr. Steven Mercer, founder of Mercer Educational Consulting, tells Mental Floss that a big part of being a college counselor is knowing how to guide students and families through an emotional process: “As a counselor you have to listen more than you talk, you have to be able to quickly pivot when working with a student or family, and sometimes be forced to guess what they are truly needing because students and parents cannot always tell you outright.”

4. HELICOPTER PARENTS ARE DIFFICULT …

According to independent educational consultant Deborah Shames, who counsels students and families in northern New Jersey, helicopter parents are a very real thing. “I have had many, many helicopter parents who I suspect (or know) are doing the work for their kids, whether it’s the research, filling out the applications, creating the resume, or even writing the essays,” Shames says. “I have called out parents on this, explaining that this is only hurting their kid. Sometimes that’s effective; other times, not so much.”

5. … BUT APATHETIC PARENTS ARE A BIGGER PROBLEM.

While helicopter parents can be problematic, Greenwald explains that apathetic parents are actually more difficult to deal with than overinvolved ones. “Students are frequently embarrassed by their overeager parents, but they aren’t really a college counselor's problem,” she says. “Less involved parents are far more bewildering.” When parents are unwilling to participate in the college choice process or are unenthusiastic about their child’s future, students suffer and become less engaged in the process. “It strips the joy from exploring the future and students feel that in every ugly way,” Greenwald says. Parental involvement is also necessary when students fill out college financial aid forms, as they require information such as parents’ income and taxes. Failure to get this information from parents can become a big obstacle to students who might miss out on scholarship or financial aid funds.

6. ACCEPTANCES FROM BRAND-NAME SCHOOLS AREN’T THEIR HOLY GRAIL.

Hispanic family celebrating college graduation.

Although some college counselors focus on getting their students into brand-name colleges, good college counselors scour the more than 3000 four-year colleges and universities in the U.S. to identify the best fit for each student, academically and socially. “There’s just nothing wrong with going to a lesser-named college for an undergraduate degree and planning on a graduate degree later,” Greenwald says. Depending on what areas students want to study, college counselors may recommend applying to lesser-known schools that would be a better match for the student’s intellect, interests, and long-term goals. “College is a time to learn, collaborate and grow up, not run to keep up,” Greenwald explains. “It’s more than a fancy college that lands the job—leadership experience, executive skills, organization and time management skills, a sense of humor, and that develops in college.”

7. THEY MAY HAVE TO INTERACT WITH A STUDENT’S ENTOURAGE.

Besides working with a student and his or her parents, some college counselors also work with an entourage of assistants, coaches, stepparents, and tutors. Although Mercer says he enjoys all the families he works with, he admits that some families act in ways that make his job more challenging. Mercer once worked with a family that had two personal assistants, two academic tutors, an SAT coach, and a therapist. “In addition to [them], both parents, the student and myself [were] involved in every phone call, online meeting, e-mail thread, or in-person meeting. As a result, I never knew who was going to show up at which meeting,” he says. “I never absolutely knew who was writing the essays or filling out the applications. Making decisions about which colleges to apply to or where the student would attend in the fall took a long time!”

8. UNFORTUNATELY, MONEY MATTERS.

Money and mortarboard hat.

Whether they send their children to a public or private school, parents with more disposable income are more able to hire an independent college counselor who is unaffiliated with their child’s high school. Counselors at public schools may oversee hundreds of students, making it nearly impossible to give each student enough time and attention. “In reality, I oversee 700-plus students. Some will make it to college, some won’t. I don’t have time to even talk to them all … Of course I think parents should hire a private consultant if they can afford it,” says one counselor at a public school in Atlanta.

9. THEY ADMIT THAT ADMISSIONS CAN BE A CRAPSHOOT.

No matter how accomplished their students are, college counselors acknowledge that getting admitted or rejected can sometimes come down to luck. “When you are dealing with schools that accept fewer than 25% of their applicants, it’s a crapshoot; you have to hope you have whatever they are looking for on a given day. I always tell families there’s a whole lot of random at the tippy top,” Shames says. Because elite schools have a limited number of spots, there are more perfectly qualified students who apply than get in. As Shames explains, amazing grades, high test scores, and impressive extracurricular accomplishments aren’t enough to guarantee admission. “These accomplishments simply put you in the ballpark; they don’t guarantee a home run.”

10. INEFFECTUAL PARENTS AND UNHEALTHY FAMILY DYNAMICS BAFFLE THEM.

College counselors see plenty of families with dysfunctional dynamics up-close. Whether parents are too involved or not involved enough in their children’s college application process, some parents don’t command respect from their children. “Parents often confuse rights and privileges. When I suggest phones go away when a struggling student studies, some parents look at me in disbelief. Respecting parents and their decisions should be non-negotiable,” Greenwald explains. “The scariest scenarios then and now are children in charge, the ones who hold their parents ransom with emotional and physical threats and parents so accustomed to handing over expensive toys, they forget their children can live without them if a child's behavior isn't up to par.”

11. REJECTIONS ARE HARD ON THEM, TOO.

As college admissions expert Lacy Crawford tells The Atlantic, some students and parents can take out their disappointment and anger on their college counselor. “I once had a father scream at me,” she reveals. “He had sent his daughter to private schools, he had done everything he thought he needed to do, and she didn’t get into Georgetown early.”

Similarly, Mercer explains that the most frustrating part of his job is dealing with students and parents who think that he’s responsible for the outcome. “Often this happens when a student and parent are overly focused on getting admitted into an uber-selective college,” he says. “I empathize with them, getting denied is disappointing. But what I find frustrating is when students and parents turn around and blame me for the outcome.”

Parents' and students’ unrealistic expectations may be par for the course, but it doesn’t make it any easier for college counselors. “I hate having to be the ‘dream crusher,’” Shames says.

12. THEY NUDGE STUDENTS TO TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR THEIR OWN DESTINY.

Young woman looking toward her future.

Although many students approach the transition from childhood to young adulthood with maturity, others expect their parents and college counselors to do the heavy lifting for them. “Some students act as though the difficulty of this rite of passage should be taken away from them. They expect me to do things that they should be doing,” Mercer says. “So many students don't realize that this is a journey, sometimes harder and sometimes easier, exciting or even thrilling. But, I cannot take away the hard parts, I can only lead them through the difficult stages.”

Shames echoes that view, explaining that she can teach students and give them support, but they need to own their journey. “I see myself as the GPS and the kids as the drivers,” she explains.

13. THEY’RE WELL-VERSED IN YOUTH CULTURE.

Because they spend so much time with teenagers, college counselors are often hip to the latest memes, music, and movies. “I feel honored and privileged to hang out with 17 to 18 year olds and learn from them—music, trends, and how to respond to a quickly changing world,” Greenwald says. Unlike teachers, who usually only see their students in a classroom setting, college counselors often get a bigger picture view of who a student is by talking with their parents, learning their likes and dislikes, and hearing their hopes and dreams for the future. Many students also feel more comfortable around their college counselor than their teachers because their counselor isn’t grading them.

14. THEY LOVE OPENING UP A WORLD OF POSSIBILITIES TO TEENAGERS.

Where a student goes to college can impact what jobs they get, who their lifelong friends are, and who they marry. College counselors enjoy setting students on a path for future success, but they also relish in expanding young minds. “My favorite part of being a private college counselor is talking to a high school student about one or two distinctive colleges that I think are great places for the student to consider, often colleges that are unique or less well-known,” Mercer explains. “I love the moment when the student’s eyes light up, and they say, ‘I didn't realize there was a college like that!’”

All photos via iStock.

11 Secrets of Restaurant Servers

iStock.com/andresr
iStock.com/andresr

If you enjoy eating at restaurants, it's worth getting to know the waitstaff. Servers are the face of the establishments where they work, and often the last people to handle your food before it reaches your table.

"People think it’s an easy job, and it’s really not," Alexis, a server who’s worked in the business for 30 years, tells Mental Floss. She says, jokingly, "You want a professional handling your food, because we have your life in our hands."

Even if they don't spit on your plate (which thankfully they almost never will), a waiter can shape your dining experience. We spoke with some seasoned professionals about how they deal with rude customers, what they wish more customers would do, and other secrets of the job.

1. Server pay varies greatly.

The minimum wage changes from state to state, but for tipped workers like servers, the difference in pay can be even more drastic depending on where you work. In over a dozen states, if a worker typically makes a certain amount per month in tips (often $20-$30), their employers are only required to pay them a minimum of $2.13 an hour. That’s how much Jeff, a video producer who’s held various jobs in the restaurant industry, made when serving tables in New Jersey. “Usually, if I had a full paycheck of serving I could just put a little bit of gas into the tank,” he tells Mental Floss.

Waiters and waitresses in many states rely almost entirely on tips to make a living—but that’s not the case everywhere. California, Oregon, and Washington each pay tipped employees minimum hourly wages over $10. Jon, who currently works at a casual fine dining restaurant in Portland, Oregon, gets $12 an hour from his employer. Including tips, he typically earns $230 a day before taxes, and brings home about $34,000 a year on a 25-hour work week.

2. They split up tips among the restaurant staff.

Here’s another reason to be generous with your tips: Whatever extra money you leave on the table may be going to more than one person. If you ordered a drink from the bar, or if there was anyone other than your server bringing your food and clearing it from the table, that tip will likely be split up. At one restaurant job, Jeff says he paid food expeditors (workers who run food from the kitchen to tables) 10 percent of whatever tips he earned.

3. Waiters and waitresses know how to handle rude customers.

In addition to taking orders and serving food, servers are often forced to de-escalate conflicts. For many people waiting tables, this means acting sweet and professional no matter how angry customers get. Jon’s strategy is to “treat them like a child, smile, tell them everything they want to hear and remind yourself that it’ll be over soon.” Similarly, Mike (not his real name), a server at a farm-to-table restaurant in Texas, likes to “kill them with kindness." He tells Mental Floss he tries to “be the bigger man and [not] return sour attitudes back to people who don’t treat me with respect. If nothing else I can hold my head high knowing I did my job to the best of my ability and didn’t let their negativity affect my day with other, more pleasant patrons.”

Alexis, who currently waits tables at a family-owned restaurant in California, goes beyond faking a smile and makes a point to practice empathy when serving rude guests. “There’s a hospital near my restaurant, and people come there for comfort food with hospital visitor stickers on their clothes all the time. And I know then that they’re going through something traumatic usually. So when people are acting badly, I put imaginary hospital stickers on their clothes and try to remove my ego.”

4. Your waiter (probably) won’t spit in your food.

While most servers have had to deal with a customer who treats them poorly, they rarely retaliate. On the old urban legend of servers spitting in their customer’s food, Alexis says, “Never seen anybody mess with anybody’s food out of spite or malicious intent. I’ve never seen it happen and I’ve never actually done it. I don’t need to get back at people like that.”

5. Servers do more than wait tables.

Most customers just see one aspect of a server's jobs. When they’re not refilling your drinks and bringing you condiments, they're doing side work—either before the restaurant opens, after the last guest leaves, or in between waiting tables. “It could be rolling silverware, filling sauces, cutting lemons, rotating salad bars, stuff like that,” Jeff says. “It’s not just serving and you leave; there’s usually something else behind the scenes that the server has to do.”

Alexis says that in addition to hosting and serving, she has to prep to-go orders, bus tables, and wash dishes. "We’re expected to be working every moment,” she says.

6. Waiters have some wild stories.

Though parts of the job are tedious, servers are bound to see interesting things. Alexis recalls a husband and wife who were regulars at the restaurant where she worked in the 1990s; the man was later arrested for murder. “I found out when a newspaper reporter started asking me questions about them,” she says. “I’m quoted on the front page of the LA Times as saying ‘A waitress in a local coffee shop said they were a nightmare!’”

Other stories are lighter. “When I worked at Red Robin there was a lady that came in every morning and would ask to sit in the same booth," Jon says. "She carried a bag [of] stuffed animals (mostly dragons) and situated them around the booth, always in the same spots, she’d talk to them throughout her dining experience.”

7. Waiters hate it when you don't know what you want.

The simplest way to get on your server’s good side is to know exactly what you want when you tell them you're ready to order. That means not wasting their time stalling as you speed-read the menu. If you haven't decided on a dish, let your server know and trust that they'll return to your table in a few minutes. “Don’t tell your server you’re ready to order if you’re not ready to order,” Alexis says. “I’m like ‘Come on, I know you’re not ready. I’m going someplace else and I’ll be back.’”

It also means not asking your server to make several trips to your table in the span of a few minutes. Mike says that customers asking for items one at a time is one of his biggest pet peeves. “[Customers will say] ‘I need salt. I need hot sauce. I need another [...] drink.’ I was away from the table for 30 seconds each time. Those requests could easily be fulfilled in one trip to the kitchen.”

8. Waiters hate when you ask to move tables.

Next time you get seated in a restaurant, think twice before asking your server to switch tables. Restaurants divide their floor plan into sections, and each server is responsible for a different group of tables. The hosts in charge of seating rotate these sections to distribute guests evenly to servers; by asking to move, you may be depriving one server of an hour’s worth of tips while creating extra work for a server who’s already swamped. According Jon, the worst time to complain about where you were seated is when a restaurant is busy: “Sometimes this isn’t a problem if we’re slow, but if it’s a Friday/Saturday chances are you were put there for a reason.”

9. Servers work when everyone else gets the day off.

Servers have to be prepared to work a different schedule every week, work late into the night, and work on weekends. This can make maintaining a normal social life challenging. “My schedule can be troublesome, my girlfriend/friends have the opposite schedule as me so I’m never able to make it out on weekends or holidays,” Jon says.

And on the days many 9-to-5 workers go out to celebrate, servers have to wait on them. “Where I currently work I have worked Christmas Eve, Christmas, New Years Eve, New Years Day, and I will have to work on Mardi Gras (in the South),” Mike says. “I was leaving for work as my family arrived at my house for Christmas. I missed a New Years party in my house. If I hadn’t requested if off as soon as I began working there I’m almost certain I’d have to work 15 [hours] on my birthday.”

10. Your server might give you a free drink if you order it at the right time.

Asking your server for a free stuff likely won’t get you anywhere, but there is one thing you can do to possibly have a drink taken off your bill. If you wait until after your meal is served to order something cheap like a soft drink, Alexis says there’s a chance you won’t get charged for it all. “Not alcoholic drinks, but I’m talking about a cup of coffee or a soda or something like that, especially if you’re already paying for other beverages,” she says. “The server might get too busy or might not be inclined to go back to the POS [point of sale] system and add them on to your bill. It’s more trouble than it’s worth sometimes.”

11. Waiters want you to learn their names.

There’s a reason most servers introduce themselves before taking your order: They’d much rather you use their real names than a demeaning nickname. “Don’t call me sweetheart! I’m wearing a damn name tag,” Alexis says. “Sometimes I respond well, and other times no.”

And if your server doesn’t introduce themselves and isn’t wearing a name tag, Jon says it doesn’t hurt to ask. “Ask what the servers name is and refer them by name when you’re talking to them.” He says it’s “refreshing when a guest does this.”

11 Secrets of Perfumers

Orlando/Three Lions/Getty Images
Orlando/Three Lions/Getty Images

Perfumers are a rare breed. These half-artist, half-scientist hybrids undergo rigorous training, memorize the smells of hundreds of ingredients, and spend decades honing their craft—which might explain why there are reportedly more astronauts than perfumers in the world, according to the BBC.

For many, the job isn't merely about peddling bottles of sweet-smelling stuff to consumers; the goal is to convey an emotion, create a beautiful moment, or jog a childhood memory. To find out what it takes to create top-notch fragrances, Mental Floss spoke with three perfumers who broke into the industry through very different paths.

1. Perfumers can identify hundreds of ingredients by smell alone.

A large perfume organ with hundreds of fragrance bottles
Mandy Aftel's perfume organ
By Joel Bernstein // Courtesy of Mandy Aftel

Master perfumers are sometimes called a nez—the French word for "nose"—for good reason. They commit hundreds of scents to memory and can distinguish between ingredients that would smell identical to the untrained nose. Many perfumers can also tell an essential oil from a synthetic material, which is no small feat. “You’re talking maybe 200 essential oils and about 1500 synthetic materials,” Jodi Wilson, a classically trained perfumer who now works as a fragrance sales manager for Orchidia Fragrances in Chicago, says of the ingredients perfumers typically employ.

The trick, she says, is to associate each smell with a distinct memory. “The more experiences you have in your life, the more memories you create, and that’s really how you remember these raw materials when you first start studying, because it reminds you of your grandmother or a flower shop or a bakery or a certain gum,” Wilson tells Mental Floss. (The link between smell and memory has actually been proven by science—one 2018 study by neurobiologists at the University of Toronto revealed that the brain not only stores information about certain scents, but also memories of when and where you first encountered them.)

2. Having a good sense of smell isn't enough to make a good perfumer.

Many perfumers have a heightened sense of smell. Jersey City-based perfumer Christopher Brosius, who founded the rebellious fragrance brand CB I Hate Perfume (a reference to his distaste for most commercial fragrances) is one of them. He realized just how strong his nose was while working briefly as a New York City cab driver—he had to roll the window down every time an “offensive” perfume wafted in his direction and made his stomach churn.

However, many aspiring perfumers mistakenly believe that a “good nose” will get them far. “That’s like saying that if you have 20/20 vision you’re the next Picasso,” Brosius tells Mental Floss. “A keen nose is very useful, but at the end of the day I have met perfumers who were extremely talented who didn’t smell anything more sharply than anybody else. They just had the capacity to think in a different way about what they were doing with scent and combining it in unique and interesting ways.” More important than a good sense of smell is creativity, a natural talent for recognizing scents that work well together, and the “dedication to building a very particular base of knowledge and skill,” Brosius says.

3. France's Givaudan Perfumery School is the goal for many would-be top perfumers.

Jodi Wilson picks roses
Jodi Wilson picks roses for distillation while studying at the Roure Perfumery School (now called the Givaudan Perfumery School) in Grasse, France, during the 1991-92 academic year.
Courtesy of Jodi Wilson

Like many professional perfumers, Wilson was educated at what's now the Givaudan Perfumery School in France. Founded in 1946, it only accepts one or two promising students each year out of thousands of applicants—and sometimes none at all, if that year’s crop of candidates don’t live up to the school’s high standards. Former director Jean Guichard has said he hand-selected students based on their personality, talent, and motivations. “The perfumer should be a mixture between a scientist and a poet,” Guichard told the BBC. “When I meet people, I know if they have talent or not. I don’t want to have people who say, ‘I’m going to be a perfumer because they make a lot of money.’ That doesn’t interest me at all.” (And speaking of pay, Wilson says the starting salary for entry-level perfumers is about $45,000, but perfumers in New York City tend to start off a bit higher. It's not unheard of for the world's top perfumers to make six figures.)

The now-four-year Givaudan program is rigorous. First, students have to memorize about 1500 raw materials, Wilson says. Next, they learn how to build accords, which are the fragrance notes (like rose or jasmine) that form the heart of a perfume. They move on to perfume schemas (the “skeleton” of a fine fragrance, which contains 10 to 12 materials) and also learn about the culture and history of perfume. “It takes a long time to learn all of that, and that’s what you’re doing all day from 9 a.m. till 4 p.m. It’s intense,” Wilson says. If and when they graduate, they’ll have a job waiting for them at the Givaudan fragrance company, which is where they’ll learn how to make perfumes under the guidance of a seasoned professional.

4. perfume school isn’t the only way to break into the industry.

Mandy Aftel holding perfume blotters
Perfumer Mandy Aftel at work
By Foster Curry // Courtesy of Mandy Aftel

Brosius says “99.9 percent” of aspiring perfumers would benefit from attending a perfume school. However, he personally did things a little differently and learned the fundamentals of perfume-making by landing a job at Kiehl’s and completing the company’s in-house training program.

It’s even less common for a perfumer to be self-taught, but it’s not impossible. The latter camp includes Mandy Aftel, a perfumer in Berkeley, California, who dropped a fulfilling career in psychotherapy to pursue a budding passion for perfume-making. For information about natural materials, she turned to fragrance books from the early 1900s, before synthetic materials started to saturate the market. Now, her Aftelier Perfumes business uses hundreds of natural ingredients—no synthetics—to create unique fragrances, and she has a loyal clientele. Regardless of the career paths they took, all of the perfumers agreed that this career is “a continuous learning process,” as Aftel tells Mental Floss. Both Brosius and Wilson said it takes 20 to 25 years to truly master the art of perfume-making, and Aftel still calls herself a “beginner” after 30 years of working in this field.

5. Not all perfumers work with fine fragrances.

Fragrance is used in many different ways, some of which we encounter on a daily basis without realizing it. Some perfumers specialize in creating scents for “industrial application,” which could include anything from children’s toys to paint to fabric, Brosius says. In the case of toilet-bowl cleaners, cat litter, and asphalt, the goal is not necessarily to create a pleasant aroma; instead, the challenge is to mask an unpleasant one. However, many of the perfumers working on the industrial side have scientific backgrounds and tend to work for a chemical company rather than a perfume label, Wilson says.

6. Some of the materials perfumers work with are hazardous.

Some undiluted ingredients—such as cinnamon—can cause severe chemical burns if they get on one's skin. Brosius wears gloves and goggles while blending materials and says some ingredients in his studio come with a "do not open without authorization" label attached. He says, “We have a protocol here that if anything new comes in, it’s opened in specific parts of the building or even sometimes outside on the terrace so that we don’t have an accident where it’s like, ‘Oops I just spilled one single drop of aldehyde [an organic compound] and now the entire building is uninhabitable, although next week it will smell like ginger ale!”

7. They want you to know your aromatherapy lotion might not be made of rose, jasmine, or whatever the bottle claims it contains.

Labels can be deceptive. If you’re buying an “aromatherapy” lotion or shower gel that claims to have rose, sandalwood, or jasmine in it but costs $15, that’s a red flag. According to Wilson, these ingredients can cost many thousands of dollars per pound. Wilson says it’s far more likely that cheaper products contain just a drop or two of the natural oils advertised—for the sake of being able to list them on the label—plus a host of synthetic ingredients that mimic the smell.

8. They're not always working on fragrances they like.

Marketing is a huge part of the cost of the perfume, especially on the higher end; the perfume industry spent around $800 million on marketing in 2016, according to Bloomberg. “Ninety percent of the time, the cost of the juice in that bottle is fractional,” Brosius says.

Marketing demands are also one reason why perfumers don't always get to follow their nose—and their creativity. “Most perfumers who work at large houses are not so happy with their job all the time,” Brosius says. “For every fine fragrance they get to work on, they’re compelled to work on a ton of crap fragrances as well. Much of it is entirely dependent on the whim of the marketing company.”

Companies are also more risk-averse, Wilson says—and the perfumes themselves now aren’t always built to last. “It used to be that a ‘classic’ was considered to last for 20 years—so your Chanel 5 and things of that nature,” Wilson says. “Now, it’s very rare to have a perfume that stays around for even 10 years.”

9. The smell of puppies is impossible to replicate—but perfumers are trying.

A bottle of Soaked Earth accord from CB I Hate Perfume
Kevin O'Mara, Flickr // CC BY-NC-ND 2.0

Brosius has taken on some ambitious projects over the years, including fragrances imitating the smells of snow and wet earth, but some scents are harder to capture than others. That’s because the aroma chemicals needed to replicate certain smells haven't been created yet. This can be said of gasoline, champagne and certain wines, and some animal smells. “Particularly with puppies and kittens, the molecules needed to accurately reproduce those smells don’t exist in the perfumer’s palette. You can’t solvent extract puppies and kittens for their smell," Brosius says, describing a method that involves applying a chemical solvent to a raw material—such as a flower—to extract its aroma.

However, he’s had success creating "a context that’s so strong that people are convinced that they’re smelling something that isn’t there," he says. For instance, his roast beef fragrance doesn’t contain roast beef or anything like it, but it does contain notes of parsley and black pepper. That scent in particular, and a few others like it, aren't meant to be worn on the body. Brosius says some of his fragrances are more like modern-day "smelling salts," where the goal is to revive you, in a sense, by relieving stress. "All you have to do is open the bottle, breathe in, and your system will automatically reset to calm," he says.

10. Perfumers sometimes work with whale poop.

A small bowl with ambergris in it
Peter Kaminski, Flickr // CC BY 2.0

Perfume-makers work with some unusual ingredients, and ambergris is certainly at the top of the list. This rock-like material comes from the excrement of sperm whales and occasionally washes up on shore. Aftel is fortunate enough to have some on display at the olfactory history museum she operates, called the Aftel Archive of Curious Scents. To convert the solid mass of crushed up squid and cuttlefish bits into an aromatic oil, she had to mash it up with a mortar and pestle, then add alcohol, heat it, and let it age. So what does it smell like in liquid form? “Heaven,” Aftel says. “It’s just ambery and shimmery. It’s a miracle of transformation.” Besides, Herman Melville mentioned it in Moby Dick and it used to be a 17th-century ice cream flavor, so you know it has to be good.

11. They keep wool nearby to combat nose fatigue.

Wool is the olfactory equivalent of eating sorbet in between courses. If you’re smelling the same scent for a prolonged period of time, or sniffing too many perfumes in a row, your odor receptors will habituate and stop sending those signals to your brain. This is officially called olfactory fatigue, and it explains why you might stop noticing a smell after a couple of minutes.

“If you smell a lot of scented materials, a lot of times your nose will just kind of conk out,” Aftel says. She keeps some wool nearby to help reset her sense of smell, and three big whiffs does the trick. So why does this work? Aftel says one theory is that the lanolin in wool absorbs and neutralizes odors, giving the brain a rest from sensory overload. As for those coffee beans you might see in some perfume shops? Those "definitely don't work," Aftel says.

SECTIONS

arrow
LIVE SMARTER