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18 Conversation Tips From 19th-Century Etiquette Books

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Etiquette was a booming business in the 19th-century. Industrialization meant that people were moving between places and classes in a way they hadn't before, and there was a great demand for guidance on how to fit into the social circles that they had either gotten themselves into, or wanted to get into. Hundreds of etiquette books were published in this period, and they all had something to say about how to use language. Here are 18 perfectly charming rules on how to converse properly culled from 19th century etiquette books.

Some of the rules are quite sensible. For example, don't be a jerk, a pretentious jerk, or a teenager.

1. "Don't talk aloud in a railway carriage, and thus prevent your fellow passengers from reading their book or newspaper."

2. "Don't talk of 'the opera' in the presence of those who are not frequenters of it."

3. "Don't respond to remarks made to you with mere monosyllables. This is chilling, if not fairly insulting. Have something to say, and say it."

Many of the rules are easier said than done. It takes a lot of concentration to keep your voice, meaning, and mysterious allure at the exact perfect level at all times.

4. "Always select words calculated to convey an exact impression of your meaning."

5. "Don't talk in a high, shrill voice, and avoid nasal tones. Cultivate a chest voice; learn to moderate your tones. Talk always in a low register, but not too low."

6. "Avoid any air of mystery when speaking to those next to you; it is ill-bred and in excessively bad taste."

You also need to choose your words carefully. Remember, your food is not healthy, you do not wear pants, and your wife is no lady.

7. "Don't use meaningless exclamations, such as 'Oh, my!' 'Oh, cracky' etc."

8. "Don't say gents for gentlemen or pants for pantaloons. These are inexcusable vulgarisms. Don't say vest for waistcoat."

9. "Don't speak of this or that kind of food being healthy or unhealthy; say always wholesome or unwholesome."

10. "'It made me quite low spirited; my heart felt as heavy as lead.' We most of us know what a heavy heart is; but lead is by no means the correct metaphor to use in speaking of a heavy heart."

11. "Don't say lady when you mean wife."

Acting things out is not funny—unless, of course, you are doing it to make fun of entire classes or nationalities.

12. "Never gesticulate in every day conversation, unless you wish to be mistaken for a fifth rate comedian."

13. "A little graceful imitation of actors and public speakers may be allowed. National manners, and the peculiarities of entire classes, are fair game. French dandies, Yankee bargainers, and English exquisites, may be ridiculed at pleasure; you may even bring forward Irish porters, cab-drivers and bog-trotters—provided you can imitate their wit and humor."

Ladies do not make good conversational partners.

14. "Never ask a lady a question about anything whatever."

15. "In the company of ladies, do not labor to establish learned points by long-winded arguments. They do not care to take too much pains to find out truth."

Which may have something to do with what's in their etiquette books.

16. "Never question the veracity of any statement made in general conversation."

17. "Men frequently look with a jealous eye on a learned woman … be cautious, therefore, in mixed company of showing yourself too much beyond those around you."

Try conversing with them by eye instead.

18. "It may be coquettish, but there is nothing particularly womanly in never looking a man in the eye. Search the face that confronts you, and learn what manner of man this is whom you are receiving into your company and fellowship. If he quails under the inquisition, so much the worse for him. If he is worth looking at, it is a pity to miss the sight."

Sources: Don't: A manual of mistakes and improprieties more or less prevalent in conduct and speech, Oliver Bell Bunce, 1884; The Gentleman's Book of Etiquette, Cecil Hartley, 1873; Martine's Handbook of Etiquette and Guide to True Politeness, Arthur Martine, 1866; Etiquette for Ladies, Lea and Blanchard 1840; Etiquette: An answer to the riddle when? where? how? Agnes H. Morton, 1899.

 

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‘American Gothic’ Became Famous Because Many People Saw It as a Joke
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Wikimedia Commons // Public Domain

In 1930, Iowan artist Grant Wood painted a simple portrait of a farmer and his wife (really his dentist and sister) standing solemnly in front of an all-American farmhouse. American Gothic has since inspired endless parodies and is regarded as one of the country’s most iconic works of art. But when it first came out, few people would have guessed it would become the classic it is today. Vox explains the painting’s unexpected path to fame in the latest installment of the new video series Overrated.

According to host Phil Edwards, American Gothic made a muted splash when it first hit the art scene. The work was awarded a third-place bronze medal in a contest at the Chicago Art Institute. When Wood sold the painting to the museum later on, he received just $300 for it. But the piece’s momentum didn’t stop there. It turned out that American Gothic’s debut at a time when urban and rural ideals were clashing helped it become the defining image of the era. The painting had something for everyone: Metropolitans like Gertrude Stein saw it as a satire of simple farm life in Middle America. Actual farmers and their families, on the other hand, welcomed it as celebration of their lifestyle and work ethic at a time when the Great Depression made it hard to take pride in anything.

Wood didn’t do much to clear up the work’s true meaning. He stated, "There is satire in it, but only as there is satire in any realistic statement. These are types of people I have known all my life. I tried to characterize them truthfully—to make them more like themselves than they were in actual life."

Rather than suffering from its ambiguity, American Gothic has been immortalized by it. The country has changed a lot in the past century, but the painting’s dual roles as a straight masterpiece and a format for skewering American culture still endure today.

Get the full story from Vox below.

[h/t Vox]

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“Dissension” by Tobias Rothe. Original image courtesy Fondazione Federico Zeri/Università di Bologna // CC-BY 3.0
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Get Your GIFs Ready for This International Public Domain GIF-Making Competition
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“Dissension” by Tobias Rothe. Original image courtesy Fondazione Federico Zeri/Università di Bologna // CC-BY 3.0

Excellent GIF-making skills can serve you beyond material for your clever tweets. Each year, a group of four digital libraries from across the world hosts GIF IT UP, a competition to find the best animated image sourced from public domain images from their archives.

The competition is sponsored by Europeana, the Digital Public Library of America (DPLA), New Zealand’s DigitalNZ, and the National Library of Australia’s Trove, all of which host millions of public domain works. The requirements are that the source material must be in the public domain, have a 'no known copyright restrictions' statement, or have a Creative Commons license that allows its reuse. The material must also come from one of the sponsored sources. Oh, and judging by the past winners, it helps if it’s a little whimsical.

The image above won the grand prize in 2015. And this was a runner-up in 2016:

via GIPHY

This year’s prizes haven’t been announced yet (although Europeana says there will be a new one for first-time GIF makers), but last year’s grand prize winner got their own Giphoscope, and runners-up got $20 gift cards. (Turns out, there’s not a lot of money in public domain art.)

Not an expert GIFer yet? You can always revisit the audio version of DPLA’s advanced GIF-making tutorial from last year.

The fourth-annual GIF IT UP contest opens to submissions October 1.

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