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7 Geeky-Cool Translations of Hamlet

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ThinkStock

Ser o no ser, esa es la cuestión. Être, ou ne pas être, telle est la question. Att vara eller inte vara, det är frågan. Sein oder Nichtsein, das ist hier die Frage. Lenni vagy nem lenni: az itt a kérdés.

Hamlet has been translated into hundreds of languages. But normal human languages can be so, well, normal. Here are seven translations of Hamlet that go beyond the normal, right into the awesome.

1. Klingon

There's a line in one of the Star Trek movies where a Klingon character says, "you have not experienced Shakespeare until you have read him in the original Klingon." Some members of the Klingon Language Institute decided Wil'yam Shex'pir's classic needed to be restored, so they translated the whole play into Klingon. Here's a taste:

taH pagh taHbe’. DaH mu’tlheghvam vIqelnIS.
(One either continues or doesn’t continue. Now, I must consider this sentence.)
quv’a’, yabDaq San vaQ cha, pu’ je SIQDI’?
(Is it honorable, when, inside the mind, one endures the torpedoes and phasers of aggressive fate?)
pagh, Seng bIQ’a’Hey SuvmeH nuHmey SuqDI’,
‘ej, Suvmo’, rInmoHDI’?
(Or, when one obtains weapons to fight a seeming ocean of troubles,
And, by fighting, one finishes them?)

2. LOLspeak

Writer Mandy Keifetz created a beautiful interpretation of the existential ponderings of Lolcat. He's deeper than we knew.

Iz or no iz:
iz hed-skratcher
iz moar good haf hed liek
sry no can haz cheezburger?
Or do teh invisible kung-fu,
an by dis oh noes dey wuz al ded, srsly?
Iz ded; iz slepe; iz end
an fru slepe we sez no moar bummin,
iz cheezburger an kek an kookeys; we can haz?
Iz ded; iz slepe; slepe, mebbe dreem?
Dis teh hol in da bukkit, oh noes!
Cuz in ded slepe, iz kwazee dreem
iz ovah, oh noes!
Iz dis maik lawng lief bummin.

3. Perl

Perl is a programming language that lends itself well to poetry because its commands are recognizable as English vocabulary words and variables are referred to by names. This is a Perl poem by Colin McMillen that is both an interpretation of Hamlet's soliloquy and a functioning program. If you run it, it will output, rather eerily, "We end the heart-ache, and the thousand natural shocks that flesh is heir to at line 14."

my ($question, $to_be, $asleep); # version 0.1
 my $author = "Colin McMillen";
 my $apologies_to = "William Shakespeare";
 my $to_be = 1;
while ($to_be || (!$to_be)) {
 $question = "that";
 if (suffer($slings && $arrows_of_outrageous_fortune)
 or
 (take_arms_against($sea_of_troubles) && by_opposing() eq "end +them")) {
 do {
 $to_be = 0;
 $asleep = "no more";
 die "We end the heart-ache, and the thousand".
 " natural shocks that flesh is heir to";
 } while ("'tis a consumation devoutly to be wish'd.");
 }
 }
 sub suffer {
 return true;
 }
 sub take_arms_against {
 return true;
 }
 sub by_opposing {
 return "end them";
 }

4. Emoji

This captures Hamlet pretty succinctly.

5. Facebook Hamlet

Sarah Schmelling, wrote a hilarious book of Facebook interpretations of classic literature after she published this version of Hamlet at McSweeney's. A sample:

Rosencrantz, Guildenstern, and Hamlet are now friends.
Hamlet wonders if he should continue to exist. Or not.
Hamlet thinks Ophelia might be happier in a convent.
Ophelia removed “moody princes” from her interests.
Hamlet posted an event: A Play That’s Totally Fictional and In No Way About My Family
The king commented on Hamlet’s play: “What is wrong with you?”
Polonius thinks this curtain looks like a good thing to hide behind.
Polonius is no longer online.

6. Choose your own adventure

Ryan North, of Dinosaur Comics, started this wildly successful Kickstarter campaign to produce an illustrated choose-your-own-adventure version of Hamlet. It hasn't come out yet, but the 15,000-plus backers who put up almost 30 times the original funding goal of $20,000 will get first dibs when it does.

7. Lego animation

It's not the skull but the cowboy hat that makes this soliloquy so spooky. Enjoy!

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ThinkGeek
May the Forks Be With You: This Is the Star Wars Dinnerware You Didn't Know You Needed
ThinkGeek
ThinkGeek

Art Deco meets space opera in a new collection of Star Wars-themed dinnerware, released just in time for May the 4th (Star Wars Day).

The collection comes from ThinkGeek, whose annual Star Wars Day sale has become a go-to source for movie merchandise, offering everything from a Chewbacca necktie to a Death Star waffle maker, because even Stormtroopers need to eat a balanced breakfast.

Dubbed the Lando Calrissian Accents Collection, it includes a bottle stopper and two different sets of porcelain salad plates with golden accents. One set features Lando’s name in Aurebesh, an alphabet that appears in Star Wars, while the other bears a detailed Art Deco design.

Also featured is a set of Han Solo highball glasses, so that the next time you break out the Solo cups, they won't be the red plastic variety that litter frat house floors. The design was inspired by the Millennium Falcon.

Solo-themed plates
ThinkGeek

Solo-themed highball glass
ThinkGeek

Solo-themed bottle stopper
ThinkGeek

The products are all officially licensed merchandise for the upcoming film Solo: A Star Wars Story, coming to theaters May 25.

Looking for other ways to celebrate Star Wars Day? We have a few suggestions for how to spend your day.

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iStock
19 Unusual Socks for Snazzy Feet
iStock
iStock

Kick it in one of these pairs of cool socks.

Mental Floss has affiliate relationships with certain retailers and may receive a small percentage of any sale. But we only get commission on items you buy and don’t return, so we’re only happy if you’re happy. Thanks for helping us pay the bills!

1. ART; $15.99

Make your feet a canvas with these artsy socks. This set of eight pairs features classics including van Gogh's Starry Night and Botticelli's Birth of Venus.

Find it: Amazon

2. BOB ROSS; $12

Look at all those happy little trees! It's impossible not to smile while wearing these Bob Ross socks.

Find it: Amazon

3. ALIEN VISITOR; $11.50

I want to believe—in fancy footwear. These alien socks are perfect for Ufologists and other conspiracy theorists who always have an eye on the sky.

Find it: Amazon

4. SHARK CREW SOCKS; FROM $10.98

shark socks
Amazon

These fun socks make it look like sharks are eating your feet.

Find it: Amazon

5. TAPATIO; $10

These socks are hot! Just like the hot sauce they show.

Find it: Amazon

6. LIBRARY CARD; $10.25

Out of Print makes a variety of book-themed products for bibliophiles—and, even better, they donate one book for each pair of socks purchased. This particular pair looks like the library cards you might have found in libraries back in the day.

Find it: Amazon

7. WHERE THE WILD THINGS ARE; $10

Here's another excellent selection from Out of Print. This pair of socks is dedicated to Where the Wild Things Are. The bottoms say "Let the Wild / Rumpus Start."

Find it: Out of Print

8. STUDIO GHIBLI; $12.50

Lovers of the films by Studio Ghibli will get a kick out of these striped socks. Each pair features a scene from a different movie: Spirited Away, My Neighbor Totoro, Kiki's Delivery Service, and Howl's Moving Castle.

Find it: Amazon

9. HELLO PUPPY DOGS; $12.95

These adorable socks have polka dots and giant dog faces on the front. Each pair comes with floppy ears that peek over the edge of the socks. The breeds include what looks like a Pomeranian, a Boston terrier, and a French bulldog.

Find it: Amazon

10. EINSTEIN; $12

These are the perfect socks to wear while filling up a blackboard with equations. The pair comes with a picture of Einstein sporting some cool shades.

Find it: Amazon

11. CONSTELLATIONS; $11.50

These fun socks feature a few constellations, including Ursa Minor and Orion.

Find it: Amazon

12. DOCTOR WHO; $14.95

Doctor Who Tardis Women's Knee High Socks
Jet

Doctor Who fans are going to want to get their hands on these knee high TARDIS socks.

Find it: Jet

13. POKEMON; $2.42

Pokemon Ankle Socks
AliExpress

Show off your love of Pokemon with Pikachu, Charmander, Psyduck, and Squirtle socks.

Find it: AliExpress

14. SAILOR MOON; $9.99

Defend the world against evil in the name of the Moon, with these Sailor socks. The pack of six comes with Sailor Moon, Sailor Mars, Sailor Mercury, Sailor Venus, Sailor Jupiter, and Chibiusa.

Find it: Amazon

15. THE LITTLE PRINCE; $10.25

According to the pilot in Antoine de Saint-Exupéry's classic book The Little Prince, the titular character probably hitches a ride off of his planet (B-612) and across the universe on a flock of birds. These Out of Print socks depict the pilot's drawing of the Little Prince taking to the skies.

Find it: Amazon

16. PENCILS; $10

Pencils are key for crosswords, drawings, and jotting down important notes. Celebrate the beloved writing utensil with these incredible socks.

Find it: Amazon

17. STORM TROOPER; $25

Stormtrooper socks
Buckle

These cool socks look just like Storm Troopers from the Star Wars franchise. They fit shoe sizes 9–12.

Find it: Buckle

18. SUSHI; $19.99

Sushi socks
Amazon

At first, this looks like a plush platter of sushi. When you unravel the "food," you'll discover it's actually two pairs of socks rolled to look like salmon and cucumber sushi.

Find it: Amazon

19. LEGO; $12

LEGO socks
Lord & Taylor

Stepping on LEGO bricks hurts, so protect yourself! We recommend this pair of LEGO-themed socks, plus a pair of slippers for good measure.

Find it: Lord & Taylor

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