7 Book Dedications that Basically Say "Screw You"

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ThinkStock

Not all authors' dedications are nice. Some—like these—are just plain mean.

1. Post Office, Charles Bukowski (1971)

"This is presented as a work of fiction and dedicated to nobody."

Even in his first novel, Bukowski felt no need to flatter anyone.

2. This Boy's Life, Tobias Wolff (1989)

"My first stepfather used to say that what I didn't know would fill a book. Well, here it is."

The acknowledgements section of Wolff's memoir of a difficult adolescence with abusive stepfathers ends on a finely honed knifepoint.

3. No Thanks, E.E. Cummings (1935)

Photo from Gary Dexter's Why Not Catch-21?: The Stories Behind the Titles, via @StanCarey

E.E. Cummings wrote a book of poems that was turned down by 14 publishers. He finally published it under the title "No Thanks." The dedication was a list of all the publishers who had rejected it, arranged in the shape of a funeral urn.

4. Psychological Care of the Infant and Child, John Watson (1928)

"To the First Mother who Brings up a Happy Child."

Watson's book, which advises against giving children unrealistic expectations by overindulging them with love, is written from the viewpoint that the recipient of his dedication does not yet exist, essentially rendering the dedication a "screw you" to all mothers.

5. Silver Bullet: The Martini in American Civilization, Lowell Edmunds (1981)

"I should like to blame the editors of Notes and Queries for rejecting the extremely concise and dignified query on the Martini I sent them and I should also like to blame the editor of the New York Times Book Review for failing to print my author's query. May these editors find that their gin has turned to gasoline or may they drink too many Martinis and then swallow a toothpick, as Sherwood Anderson is said to have done."

Authors are always thanking others for their help. Why shouldn't they also blame others for their non-help?

6. No Contest: The Case against Competition, Alfie Kohn (1986)

"Let me note, finally, that most of the research for this book was done in the libraries of Harvard University, the size of whose holdings is matched only by the school's determination to restrict access to them. I am delighted to have been able to use these resources, and it hardly matters that I was afforded this privilege only because the school thought I was someone else."

Crediting the collections you used for your research is the honorable thing to do, even when packaged with a "screw you for trying to keep me from using them."

7. Logan: A Family History, John Neal (1822)

"I do not dedicate my book to any body; for I know nobody worth dedicating it to. I have no friends, no children, no wife, no home; -- no relations, no well-wishers; -- nobody to love, and nobody to care for. To whom shall I; to whom can I dedicate it? To my Maker! It is unworthy of him. To my countrymen? They are unworthy of me. For the men of past ages I have very little veneration; for those of the present, not at all. To whom shall I entrust it? Who will care for me, by to-morrow? Who will do battle for my book, when I am gone? Will posterity? Yea, posterity will do me justice. To posterity then – to the winds! I bequeath it! I devote it -- as a Roman would his enemy, to the fierce and unsparing charities of another world – to a generation of spirits – to the shadowy and crowned potentates of hereafter. I—I—I have done – the blood of the red man is growing cold – farewell – farewell forever!"

This book of fiction was based on the story of a real Native American chief whose family was murdered by a band of white outlaws. The author (whose biography is titled A Down-East Yankee from the District of Maine) had a stubborn temperament that would never let him settle for just a "screw you" where a "screw you all" would do.

Note: This article was updated to correct the second sentence of Alfie Kohn's dedication from "I am delighted to have been able to use these resources, and it hardly matters because the school thought I was someone else" to "I am delighted to have been able to use these resources, and it hardly matters that I was afforded this privilege only because the school thought I was someone else."

5-Year-Old Logan Brinson Couldn't Find a Library Near Him—So He Opened One Himself

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iStock.com/clu

The benefits of having access to books are clear: According to a 2018 study, people who grow up surrounded by books develop higher reading comprehension and better mathematical and digital communication skills. But not every kid has access to reading materials in their house or even their hometown. A 5-year-old resident of Alpha, Illinois recently solved this problem within his own community by opening a Little Free Library in his front yard, WQAD 8 reports.

Logan Brinson loves to read, but until recently, the village of Alpha didn't have a library of its own. He went to Alpha officials with his family and proposed setting up a small lending library in town. Logan's Little Library opened to the public in summer 2018. Today readers of all ages come to the Brinson house and check out one book at a time from the tiny case out front.

Following the success of the first location, Logan plans to open a second library next to the gazebo in Alpha's town center. That's set to open in May of this year, and in the meantime, the Brinsons are accepting book donations from around the world. You can add a book to Alpha's little libraries by mailing packages to P.O. Box 672, Alpha IL, 61413 or 113 West B Street, Alpha, IL 61413.

It's easier than ever for kids to find books to read, even if they don't have a conventional library in their town. In Long Beach, New York, you can borrow books on the beach, and in New Zealand, kids are getting books with their McDonald's happy meals. Learn more about Logan's library efforts in the video below.

[h/t WQAD 8]

The 100 Best Love Stories From Around the World

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iStock.com/aluxum

There are stacks of great books about love to read from all parts of the world, and Valentine's Day is the perfect time to dive into one. If you're not sure where to start, check out this infographic of 100 iconic love stories from around the world from Global English Editing.

The list includes romantic tales of all varieties, including novels, poems, and memoirs. Some are cute modern love stories like The Buenos Aires Broken Hearts Club set in Argentina, and others are classics with sad endings, like Romeo and Juliet, the Shakespeare play set in Italy.

With countries from every continent represented on the map, you'll have no trouble finding a book that's new to you. After picking titles that interest you below, you can check out their summaries on geediting.com.

Reading isn't the only way to enjoy love stories this Valentine's Day. There are also plenty of romantic movies that are just a few mouse clicks away.

Map of love stories set in different countries.
Global English Editing

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