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15 Historical Brother vs. Brother Matchups

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On Sunday, Jim and John Harbaugh will become the first siblings to square off from opposite sidelines when their teams take the field for Super Bowl XLVII. That two brothers should both reach the Super Bowl as head coaches is remarkable, and a feat worthy of celebration. But for as long as there have been brothers, brothers have been competing, fighting, betraying, and even killing each other. In honor of the Harbowl (Superbaugh?), here's our brief and incomplete guide to battling brothers.

1. Cain vs. Abel

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The Book of Genesis says that Cain, the first son of Adam and Eve, killed his brother Abel, the second son. Cain was likely motivated by jealousy: He murdered his brother after Abel's offering was looked upon favorably by God, while Cain's was not.

2. Cyrus the Younger vs. Artaxerxes II

When Plutarch wrote about the childhood of the sons of Darius II of Persia, Artaxerxes and Cyrus the Younger, he said that "Cyrus, from his earliest youth, showed something of a headstrong and vehement character; Artaxerxes, on the other side, was gentler in everything, and of a nature more yielding and soft in its action." Artaxerxes ascended the throne to become King of Persia in 404 BC, and Cyrus began plotting his brother's assassination soon after. Three years later, Cyrus was killed in battle during a failed attempt to oust his brother.

3. Pērōz vs. Hormīzd III

In 457, Pērōz became involved in a bitter two year battle against his brother, Hormīzd III, emperor of the Sassanid Dynasty (think pre-Islamic Persia). Ultimately, Pērōz killed Hormīzd and took the throne.

4. Mahmud of Ghazni vs. Ismail

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In 998, Mahmud of Ghazni (above), founder of the Ghaznavid Empire—a vast swath that included present-day Iran, Turkmenistan, Uzbekistan, Kyrgystan, Afghanistan, Pakistan, and northern India—became the first man in history to assume the title of “Sultan.” But that power wasn't given to him; Mahmud had to take it ... from this brother. His father, the great ruler Sabuktegin, passed over Mahmud and granted dominion to his brother, Ismail. Upon hearing about the appointment, Mahmud challenged his brother’s power, overcoming Ismail’s supporters, taking control of Ghazni, and condemning his brother to house arrest for the rest of his life.

5. Henry I vs. Robert, Duke of Normandy

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Henry the First of England (right), the fourth son of William the Conqueror, ascended to the throne after the death of his older brother, William II, and before his other brother, Robert—who was next in line for the throne—could return from the First Crusade. A few years later, Henry defeated his Robert’s army and imprisioned his brother, first in the Tower of London and eventually in Cardiff, Wales; Henry also stripped Robert of his title of Duke of Normandy.

6. King Richard vs. John

If you're familiar with Robin Hood, you know this one: In 1192, King Richard of England was imprisoned by Duke Leopold of Austria as he returned home from the Crusades. While Richard was imprisoned, his brother John seized the throne. Two years later, when Richard returned home, he forgave his brother—but took away all of this lands, with the exception of Ireland.

7. Dara vs. Shuja vs. Aurangzeb vs. Murad

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In 1658, the four sons of Shah Jahan, the Mughal Emperor, all laid claim to the throne when Jahan fell ill. All four sons were formidable men. Dara, the eldest, was the designated heir; Shuja was the Governor of Bengal, Bihar and Orissa; Aurangzeb covered the provence of Deccan; and Murad oversaw Gujarat and Malwa. All hell broke loose. Aurangzeb defeated Dara and occupied the imperial capital of Agra; he took his own dad captive. Shuja was defeated. Murad was taken prisoner. Dara rose again—but Aurazngzeb defeated him again. Eventually Dara was sentenced to death for idolatry and apostasy from Islam. Aurangzeb took over as king—ruling for 49 years—and delivered the decapitated head of his brother Dara to their father.

8. James Campbell vs. Alexander Campbell

James and Alexander Campbell, immigrant brothers from Scotland, fought on opposing sides during the American Civil War. Alexander had settled in New York City; James in Charleston. In the lead up to the war, each man took up the side of the place he’d settled in. During the Battle of Secessionville, the first major attempt by the federals to regain Charleston, Alexander and James were within yards of each other, but were unaware of that fact until near the end of the battle.

9. Leo Gallagher vs. Ron Gallagher

Aurora Entertainments

In the early 1990s, Leo Gallagher's younger brother, Ron, asked for permission to perform shows using Gallagher's signature produce-destroying Sledge-O-Matic. Leo consented on the condition that Ron made it clear in promotional materials that Leo Gallagher was not performing. After several years, Ron began promoting his act as "Gallagher Too" and sometimes even promoted his routine in a way that provided no indication that they weren’t seeing Leo perform. In August 2000, Leo sued Ron for trademark violations and false advertising. The courts sided with Leo, granting an injunction that prohibits Ron from performing any act that impersonates Leo.

10. Christopher Hitchens vs. Peter Hitchens

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Christopher Hitchens and his brother fell out over a joke about Stalinism, but instead of just doing what we'd all do and ignoring one another, they debated on TV and in print. After the birth of Peter's third child, the brothers reconciled—kind of. "There is no longer any official froideur," Christopher told The Guardian in 2006. "But there's no official—what's the word?—chaleur, either."

11. Joe Niekro vs. Phil Niekro

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Baseball-playing brothers Phil (above) and Joe Niekro faced off against each other more than once. As a pitcher for the Houston Astros, Joe went 5-4 against Phil. Joe even hit his first major league homer off Phil, who was a pitcher for the Atlanta Braves at the time.

12. Dom DiMaggio vs. Joe DiMaggio

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Dom DiMaggio, little brother of Yankee great Joe (above), played for a long and productive career with his brother’s hated rival, the Boston Red Sox. Joe spent his entire 13-year career with the Yankees. That must have made for some interesting family dinners.

13. John McEnroe vs. Patrick McEnroe

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In August of 1985, John McEnroe, at the time the world’s number one tennis player, unmercifully defeated his younger brother Patrick in straight sets (6-1, 6-2) at the Volvo tournament in Stratton, Vermont. "I can win a few points from him in practice, but today he was putting a lot of pressure on me," Patrick told reporters after the match. "The shots were coming back so fast."

14. Randy Poffo vs. Lanny Poffo

Nowhere is sibling rivalry more heated than professional wrestling. In 1979, Randy Poffo (a.k.a. Macho Man Randy Savage) defeated his brother Lanny (known as The Genius of Leaping Lanny Poffo) to become the ICW World Champions. And they're not the only brothers in the professional wrestling world to fight: For a spell, the Steiner Brothers hated each other. So did the Harts: Bret and Owen.

15. Adi Dassler vs. Rudi Dassler

In 1924, brothers Adi (above) and Rudi Dassler formed the Dassler Brothers Shoe Factory. After World War II, however, the brothers' relationship deteriorated. Neither would say what caused the rift, but in 1948, Adi formed Adidas, while Rudi moved to the opposite side of town to form his own company, Puma. Their rivalry grew increasingly hostile as the years passed, and they never reconciled.

BONUS: Pop Culture's Brother Battles

Pop culture is rife with brother on brother hatred—and violence. On ABC’s vampire drama Dark Shadows, the vampire Barnabas killed his brother in a duel. So did Atilla on HBO’s Rome. Fredo Corleone of The Godfather betrayed Michael, so Michael had Fredo shot during a fishing trip on Lake Tahoe. Game of Thrones gave us Stannis Baratheon smiting his brother Renly with the help of sorcery. Some of Shakespeare's characters had brother issues (cough, cough, LEAR). Thor will forever be throwing his hammer at Loki.

It’s a messy business, brotherhood. Perhaps Mrs. Harbaugh wishes she’d had girls.

Sergeant Marshall/Department of Defense, NARA // Public Domain
Would You Be Able to Pass a World War I Military Literacy Test?
Sergeant Marshall/Department of Defense, NARA // Public Domain
Sergeant Marshall/Department of Defense, NARA // Public Domain

Though reading and writing might not come to mind as the first requirement for trench warfare, during the early 20th century, the U.S. Army became increasingly concerned with whether or not its soldiers were literate. Thousands of World War I soldiers couldn't read printed directions on basic military tasks. The Army didn't implement its first major literacy program until the 1940s, but literacy tests were included in a battery of psychological evaluations World War I recruits went through to determine their mental fitness and intelligence, as the blog Futility Closet recently highlighted.

These unconventional literacy tests largely took the form of a yes or no questions with obvious answers, according to the 1921 report from the U.S. Surgeon General, Psychological Examining in the United States Army. Edited by pioneering intelligence-testing psychologist Robert Yerkes, who developed the military's first psychology exams for new recruits (and was also famous for his support for eugenics), the volume is a lengthy compilation of all of the methods the U.S. Army used to test the intelligence of its future soldiers. Many of these tests are now considered racist and culturally biased—some of the "intelligence" testing questions required recruits to know things like what products Velvet Joe (a figure used in tobacco campaigns) advertised—but some of the literacy questions, in particular, simply come off as weird in the modern era. Some are downright existential, in fact, while others—"Is a guitar a disease?"—come off as almost poetic.

A long questionnaire to test literacy, including questions like 'Is coal white?'
Psychological Examining in the United States Army, Google Books // Public Domain

One test, the Devens Literarcy Test, asked recruits questions like "Is genuine happiness a priceless treasure?" and "Does success tend to bring pleasure?" Another section of the test asked "Do boys like to play?" and "Do clerks enjoy a vacation?"

Other questions seem like they're up for debate, like "Are painters ever artless individuals?" and "Is extremely athletic exercise surely necessary?" Surely the answers to questions like "Should criminals forfeit liberty?" and "Is misuse of money an evil?" depend on the opinions of the reader. The answer to "Do imbeciles usually hold responsible offices?" might be different depending on how the person feels about their Congressional representative, and could surely be the spark for an hour-long argument at most dinner parties.

Still others are tests of cultural knowledge, not reading skill—a major modern criticism of Yerkes's work. Despite being arguably a pretty literate person, I certainly don't know the answer to the question "Do voluntary enlistments increase the army?" A question like "Are 'diminutive' and 'Lilliputian' nearly identical?" isn't exactly a test of literacy, but a test of whether or not you've read Gulliver's Travels, which doesn't exactly seem like a necessity for military success.

Luckily, some of the questions are pretty obvious, like "Is coal white?" That one I can answer. The full list of questions used in the various versions of the Devens test is below for you to test your own Army-level literacy.

  • Do dogs bark?
  • Is coal white?
  • Can you see?
  • Do men eat stones?
  • Do boys like to play?
  • Can a bed run?
  • Do books have hands?
  • Is ice hot?
  • Do winds blow?
  • Have all girls the same name?
  • Is warm clothing good for winter?
  • Is this page of paper white?
  • Are railroad tickets free?
  • Is every young woman a teacher?
  • Is it always perfect weather?
  • Is the heart within the body?
  • Do clerks enjoy a vacation?
  • Is the President a public official?
  • Would you enjoy losing a fortune?
  • Does an auto sometimes need repair?
  • Is it important to remember commands?
  • Are avenues usually paved with oxygen?
  • Do we desire serious trouble?
  • Is practical judgment valuable?
  • Ought a man's career to be ruined by accidents?
  • Do you cordially recommend forgery?
  • Does an emergency require immediate decision?
  • Should honesty bring misfortune to its possessor?
  • Are gradual improvements worth while?
  • Is a punctual person continually tardy?
  • Are instantaneous effects invariably rapid?
  • Should preliminary disappointment discourage you?
  • Is hearsay testimony trustworthy evidence?
  • Is wisdom characteristic of the best authorities?
  • Is extremely athletic exercise surely necessary?
  • Is incessant discussion usually boresome?
  • Are algebraic symbols ever found in manuals?
  • Are tentative regulations ever advantageous?
  • Are "diminutive" and "Lilliputian" nearly identical?
  • Is an infinitesimal titanic bulk possible?
  • Do all connubial unions eventuate felicitously?
  • Is a "gelatinous exaltation" ridiculous?
  • Are "sedate" and "hilarious" similar in meaning?
  • Is avarice sometimes exhibited by cameos?
  • Can a dog run?
  • Is water dry?
  • Can you read?
  • Do stones talk?
  • Do books eat?
  • Do cats go to school?
  • Are six more than two?
  • Is John a girl's name?
  • Are there letters in a word?
  • Is your nose on your face?
  • Can you carry water in a sieve?
  • Do soldiers wear uniforms?
  • Does it rain every morning?
  • Are newspapers made of iron?
  • Are "forward" and "backward" directions?
  • Do many people attend motion-picture theatres?
  • Do handkerchiefs frequently injure human beings?
  • Do magazines contain advertisements?
  • Are political questions often the subject of debates?
  • Are empires inclosed in envelopes?
  • Are members of the family usually regarded as guests?
  • Is genuine happiness a priceless treasure?
  • Do imbeciles usually hold responsible offices?
  • May chimneys be snipped off with scissors?
  • Is moderation a desirable virtue?
  • Are apish manners desired by a hostess?
  • Do conscientious brunettes exist?
  • Do serpents make oblong echoes?
  • Do voluntary enlistments increase the army?
  • Is hypocrisy approved by honest men?
  • Is virile behavior effeminate?
  • Do alleged facts often require verification?
  • Do pestilences ordinarily bestow great benefit?
  • Are painters ever artless individuals?
  • Do the defenders of citadels sometimes capitulate?
  • Do physicians ameliorate pathological conditions?
  • Is embezzlement a serious misdemeanor?
  • Do vagrants commonly possess immaculate cravats?
  • Are "loquacious" and "voluble" opposite in meaning?
  • May heresies arise among the laity?
  • Are piscatorial activities necessarily lucrative?
  • Do tendrils terminate in cerebral hemorrhages?
  • Does a baby cry?
  • Can a hat speak?
  • Do hens lay eggs?
  • Is a stone soft?
  • Is one more than seven?
  • Do the land and sea look just alike?
  • Are some books black?
  • Does water run up hill?
  • Are stamps used on letters?
  • Do 100 cents make a dollar?
  • Are we sure what events will happen next year?
  • Do ships sail on railroads?
  • Do stones float in the air?
  • May meat be cut with a knife?
  • Are ledges common in mountain districts?
  • Does success tend to bring pleasure?
  • Are diamonds mined in mid-ocean?
  • Is misuse of money an evil?
  • Should criminals forfeit liberty?
  • Is special information usually a disadvantage?
  • Are attempted suicides always fatal?
  • Are exalted positions held by distinguished men?
  • Does confusion favor the establishment of order?
  • Is a civil answer contrary to law?
  • Is a dilapidated garment nevertheless clothing?
  • Are textile manufacturers valueless?
  • Do thieves commit depredations?
  • Does close inspection handicap accurate report?
  • Do transparent goggles transmit light?
  • Do illiterate men read romances?
  • Is irony connected with blast furnaces?
  • Do avalanches ever descend mountains?
  • Are scythes always swung by swarthy men?
  • Do pirates accumulate booty?
  • Are intervals of repose appreciated?
  • Are intermittent sounds discontinuous?
  • Is an avocational activity ordinarily pleasurable?
  • Are pernicious pedestrians translucent?
  • Are amicable relationships disrupted by increased congeniality?
  • Are many nocturnal raids surreptitiously planned
  • Are milksops likely to perpetrate violent offenses?
  • Are "precipitancy" and "procrastination" synonymous?
  • Is snow cold?
  • Can a dog read?
  • Do houses have doors?
  • Has a horse five legs?
  • Are three more than ten?
  • Do mice love cats?
  • Does a hat belong to you?
  • Do animals have glass eyes?
  • Should fathers provide clothing for children?
  • Is it true that lead is heavy
  • Do poor men have much money?
  • Is summer colder than winter?
  • Can a horse tell time by a watch?
  • Is a city larger than a country town?
  • Does Christmas ever fall on Tuesday?
  • Do Christians often overlook faults?
  • Are difficult problems easily solved?
  • Do convicts sometimes escape from prison?
  • Should the courts secure justice for everybody?
  • Are scoundrels always intoxicated?
  • Is a guitar a kind of disease?
  • Do jugglers furnish entertainment?
  • Should we build on insecure foundations?
  • Do annual conventions take place biweekly?
  • Does persistent effort favor ultimate success?
  • Is a shrewd man necessarily admired?
  • Is manual skill advantageous?
  • Are elaborate bonnets inexpensive?
  • Are petty annoyances irritating?
  • Are false arguments valid?
  • Do you approve of ruthless massacres?
  • Do blemishes occur in complexions?
  • Is air found in a complete vacuum?
  • Do robins migrate periodically?
  • Are weird tales sometimes gruesome?
  • Do felines possess locomotor appendages?
  • Do demented individuals frequently have hallucinations?
  • Are laconic messages sometimes verbose?
  • Are perfunctory endeavors usually efficacious?
  • Would a deluge extinguish a smouldering trellis?
  • Are devastated suburbs exhilarating vistas?
  • Are "contingent" and "independent" alike in meaning?

[h/t Futility Closet]

10 Not-So-Small Facts About the Volkswagen Beetle

While Volkswagen has announced—for a second time—that it's going to cease production on the Beetle, people are still singing the praises of the quirky little car. Here are 10 not-so-small things you need to know about the German car that was once named one of the top four cars of the century.


Adolf Hitler checks out a VW Beetle
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It’s long been said that Adolf Hitler was the man behind the Beetle, and that’s sort of true. The dictator wanted German families to be able to afford a car, so he enlisted automaker Ferdinand Porsche (yes, that Porsche) to make “the people’s car.” But the basis for the Beetle had been around since long before Hitler’s demand; the Bug was heavily influenced by Porsche's V series. Rumors that Hitler directly designed the car are probably false; though he was the one who reportedly said that the car should look like a beetle, because “You only have to observe nature to learn how best to achieve streamlining,” it’s likely that he was regurgitating something he had read in an automotive magazine. Still, one thing is for certain: Hitler himself placed the cornerstone for the Porsche factory in Wolfsburg, Germany.


Perhaps still wary of anything imported from Germany, Americans shunned the Beetle when it was introduced in the States in 1949: Only two were sold in the first year. But after that, sales grew quickly. By the 1960s, hundreds of thousands of Bugs were sold every year, topping out at 570,000 in 1970.


A pink VW Beetle

We have the public to thank for the car’s distinctive nickname. Originally known as the Volkswagen Type 1, the car’s curves and rounded top led to its later, insect-like moniker. Volkswagen must have realized they had a good thing on their hands, because they started referring to the car as the VW Beetle in the late 1960s.


The UK and the U.S. aren’t the only countries that bestowed a new name on the Volkswagen Type 1. In France, it's called Coccinellewhich means ladybug. It's Maggiolino and Fusca in Italy and Brazil, respectively, both of which mean "beetle." Mexico calls it Vocho; it's Peta (turtle) in Bolivia; and Kodok (frog) in Indonesia. 


In 1999, Advertising Age declared the car's not-so-small ad campaign to be the best campaign of the last 100 years, besting Coca-Cola, Marlboro, Nike, and McDonald’s. The quirky concept and copy—which, according to Advertising Age, “Gave advertising permission to surprise, to defy and to engage the consumer without bludgeoning him about the face and body”—was a game-changer for the entire industry.

The "Think Small" line and accompanying self-deprecating copy was written by Julian Koenig, who was also responsible for naming Earth Day and coming up with Timex’s “It takes a licking and keeps on ticking” tagline. He’s also half-responsible for daughter Sarah Koenig, whom you may know from NPR’s This American Life and Serial.


Herbie the Love Bug

Because of their distinctive aesthetic, VW Bugs have been associated with everything from the Beatles to Transformers. A few highlights:

  • The Beetle with the license plate “LMW 28IF” on the cover of The Beatles' Abbey Road album was sold at an auction for $23,000 in 1986. It is now on display at Volkswagen's AutoMuseum at the company’s headquarters in Wolfsburg, Germany.
  • The Fremont Troll sculpture in Seattle, a huge statue lurking under the Aurora Bridge, clutches an actual VW Beetle. An in-progress picture shows that the car was once red. It also once contained a time capsule of Elvis memorabilia, which was stolen.
  • The Herbie the Love Bug series was a big hit for Disney in the late 1960s and early 1970s. One of the original Herbies sold for $126,500 at an auction in 2015.
  • In the original Transformers cartoon, Bumblebee transformed from a VW Bug. The car was changed to a Camaro for the live-action movies.


The so-called “blumenvasen,” a small vase that could be clipped to the dashboard, speaker grille, or windshield, was porcelain when it was originally offered. The nod to flower power became such a symbol of the car that it was incorporated into the 1998 redesign. Sadly, it didn’t make the cut for the most recent overhaul: The vase was eliminated in 2011 by marketing execs apparently seeking to make the car more male-friendly.


When the millionth VW Beetle rolled off the line in 1955, the company capped the achievement by plating the car in gold and giving it diamante accents. They also created a Bug with a wicker body in collaboration with master basket-maker Thomas Heinrich.


After WWII, the VW factory in Wolfsburg, Germany, was supposed to be handed over to the British. No British car manufacturer wanted to take responsibility for the company, though, saying that "the vehicle does not meet the fundamental technical requirement of a motor-car," "it is quite unattractive to the average buyer," and that "To build the car commercially would be a completely uneconomic enterprise." Whoops.


The last VW Bug
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Beetle #21,529,464—the one celebrated by the mariachi band—is now at Volkswagen's AutoMuseum.


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