CLOSE
Original image

"A Nun Suit Painted on Some Old Boxes" and 71 Other Great Frank Zappa Song Titles

Original image

The late Frank Zappa would have turned 72 today. Even if you don’t know much about Zappa, you may be aware of his penchant for creative naming. He famously named his four children the following:

- Moon Unit
- Dweezil
- Ahmet Emuukha Rodan
- Diva Thin Muffin Pigeen

Zappa also had a habit of giving his musical creations memorable titles. So let’s celebrate his 72nd birthday with a list of his 72 best song titles.

1. "A Nun Suit Painted on Some Old Boxes"
2. "The Return of the Son of Monster Magnet"
3. "Half a Dozen Provocative Squats"
4. "My Guitar Wants to Kill Your Momma"
5. "The Girl Wants to Fix Him Some Broth"
6. "Little Green Scratchy Sweaters & Corduroy Ponce"
7. "Invocation & Ritual Dance of the Young Pumpkin"
8. "Son of Suzy Creamcheese"
9. "Harry, You're a Beast"
10. "What's the Ugliest Part of Your Body?"

11. "What's the Ugliest Part of Your Body? (Reprise)"
12. "The Chrome Plated Megaphone of Destiny"
13. "The Voice of Cheese"
14. "Dog Breath, in the Year of the Plague"
15. "Sleeping in a Jar"
16. "Electric Aunt Jemima"
17. "Duke of Prunes"
18. "Hungry Freaks, Daddy"
19. "Willie the Pimp"
20. "It Must Be a Camel"
21. "Theme From Burnt Weeny Sandwich"
22. "Prelude to the Afternoon of a Sexually Aroused Gas Mask"
23. "Toads of the Short Forest"
24. "Dwarf Nebula Processional March & Dwarf Nebula"
25. "This Town Is a Sealed Tuna Sandwich"
26. "Weasels Ripped My Flesh"
27. "Rudy Wants to Buy Yez a Drink"
28. "Latex Solar Beef"
29. "Lonesome Electric Turkey"
30. "Give Me Some Floor Covering Under This Fat, Floating Sofa"
31. "For Calvin (And His Next Two Hitch-Hikers)"
32. "Cletus Awreetus-Awrightus"
33. "I’m the Slime"
34. "Don’t Eat the Yellow Snow"
35. "St. Alfonzo's Pancake Breakfast"
36. "Father O'Blivion"
37. "Stink-Foot"
38. "Penguin in Bondage"
39. "Don't You Ever Wash That Thing?"
40. "Evelyn, a Modified Dog"
41. "Sam with the Showing Scalp Flat Top"
42. "Poofter's Froth Wyoming Plans Ahead"
43. "Man with the Woman Head"
44. "The Illinois Enema Bandit"
45. "Big Leg Emma"
46. "Help, I’m A Rock"
47. "Spider of Destiny"
48. "The Ocean Is the Ultimate Solution"
49. "Tryin' to Grow a Chin"
50. "Yo' Mama"
51. "Pedro's Dowry"
52. "Naval Aviation in Art?"
53. "Watermelon in Easter Hay"
54. "Soup 'n Old Clothes"
55. "Gee, I Like Your Pants"
56. "Shut Up 'n Play Yer Guitar"
57. "Shut Up 'n Play Yer Guitar Some More"
58. "Return of the Son of Shut Up 'n Play Yer Guitar"
59. "Pinocchio's Furniture"
60. "Theme from the 3rd Movement of Sinister Footwear"
61. "Charlie's Enormous Mouth"
62. "The Meek Shall Inherit Nothing"
63. "Tink Walks Amok"
64. "The Man From Utopia Meets Mary Lou"
65. "The Jazz Discharge Party Hats"
66. "The Girl in the Magnesium Dress"
67. "Hot-Plate Heaven at the Green Hotel"
68. "In-A-Gadda-Stravinsky"
69. "That's Not Really Reggae"
70. "Orrin Hatch on Skis"
71. "Jesus Thinks You're a Jerk"
72. "The Living Garbage Truck"

My favorites: 3, 12, 16, 22, 30, 55, 62, and 70. What are yours?

Original image
iStock
arrow
Animals
Australian Charity Releases Album of Cat-Themed Ballads to Promote Feline Welfare
Original image
iStock

An Australian animal charity is helping save the nation’s kitties one torch song at a time, releasing a feline-focused musical album that educates pet owners about how to properly care for their cats.

Around 35,000 cats end up in pounds, shelters, and rescue programs every year in the Australian state of New South Wales, according to the Royal Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals (RSPCA). Microchipping and fixing cats, along with keeping closer tabs on them, could help reduce this number. To get this message out, the RSPCA’s New South Wales chapter created Cat Ballads: Music To Improve The Lives Of Cats.

The five-track recording is campy and fur-filled, with titles like "Desex Me Before I Do Something Crazy" and "Meow Meow." But songs like “I Need You” might tug the heartstrings of ailurophiles with lyrics like “I guess that’s goodbye then/but you’ve done this before/the window's wide open/and so’s the back door/you might think I’m independent/but you’d be wrong.” There's also a special version of the song that's specifically designed for cats’ ears, featuring purring, bird tweets, and other feline-friendly noises.

Together, the tunes remind us how vulnerable our kitties really are, and provide a timely reminder for cat owners to be responsible parents to their furry friends.

“The Cat Ballads campaign coincides with kitten season, which is when our shelters receive a significantly higher number of unwanted kittens as the seasons change,” Dr. Jade Norris, a veterinary scientist with the RSPCA, tells Mental Floss. “Desexing cats is a critical strategy to reduce unwanted kittens.”

Listen to a song from Cat Ballads below, and visit the project’s website for the full rundown.

Original image
AFP/Stringer/Getty Images
arrow
technology
ABBA Is Going on Tour—As Holograms
Original image
AFP/Stringer/Getty Images

Missed your chance to watch ABBA perform live at the peak of their popularity? You’re in luck: Fans will soon be able to see the group in concert in all their chart-topping, 1970s glory—or rather, they’ll be able to see their holograms. As Mashable reports, a virtual version of the Swedish pop band is getting ready to go on tour.

ABBA split up in 1982, and the band hasn't been on tour since. (Though they did get together for a surprise reunion performance in 2016.) All four members of ABBA are still alive, but apparently not up for reentering the concert circuit when they can earn money on a holographic tour from the comfort of their homes.

The musicians of ABBA have already had the necessary measurements taken to bring their digital selves to life. The final holograms will resemble the band in the late 1970s, with their images projected in front of physical performers. Part of the show will be played live, but the main vocals will be lifted from original ABBA records and recordings of their 1977 Australian tour.

ABBA won’t be the first musical act to perform via hologram. Tupac Shakur, Michael Jackson, and Dean Martin have all been revived using the technology, but this may be one of the first times computerized avatars are standing in for big-name performers who are still around. ABBA super-fans will find out if “SOS” still sounds as catchy from the mouths of holograms when the tour launches in 2019.

[h/t Mashable]

SECTIONS

arrow
LIVE SMARTER
More from mental floss studios