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"A Nun Suit Painted on Some Old Boxes" and 71 Other Great Frank Zappa Song Titles

The late Frank Zappa would have turned 72 today. Even if you don’t know much about Zappa, you may be aware of his penchant for creative naming. He famously named his four children the following:

- Moon Unit
- Dweezil
- Ahmet Emuukha Rodan
- Diva Thin Muffin Pigeen

Zappa also had a habit of giving his musical creations memorable titles. So let’s celebrate his 72nd birthday with a list of his 72 best song titles.

1. "A Nun Suit Painted on Some Old Boxes"
2. "The Return of the Son of Monster Magnet"
3. "Half a Dozen Provocative Squats"
4. "My Guitar Wants to Kill Your Momma"
5. "The Girl Wants to Fix Him Some Broth"
6. "Little Green Scratchy Sweaters & Corduroy Ponce"
7. "Invocation & Ritual Dance of the Young Pumpkin"
8. "Son of Suzy Creamcheese"
9. "Harry, You're a Beast"
10. "What's the Ugliest Part of Your Body?"

11. "What's the Ugliest Part of Your Body? (Reprise)"
12. "The Chrome Plated Megaphone of Destiny"
13. "The Voice of Cheese"
14. "Dog Breath, in the Year of the Plague"
15. "Sleeping in a Jar"
16. "Electric Aunt Jemima"
17. "Duke of Prunes"
18. "Hungry Freaks, Daddy"
19. "Willie the Pimp"
20. "It Must Be a Camel"
21. "Theme From Burnt Weeny Sandwich"
22. "Prelude to the Afternoon of a Sexually Aroused Gas Mask"
23. "Toads of the Short Forest"
24. "Dwarf Nebula Processional March & Dwarf Nebula"
25. "This Town Is a Sealed Tuna Sandwich"
26. "Weasels Ripped My Flesh"
27. "Rudy Wants to Buy Yez a Drink"
28. "Latex Solar Beef"
29. "Lonesome Electric Turkey"
30. "Give Me Some Floor Covering Under This Fat, Floating Sofa"
31. "For Calvin (And His Next Two Hitch-Hikers)"
32. "Cletus Awreetus-Awrightus"
33. "I’m the Slime"
34. "Don’t Eat the Yellow Snow"
35. "St. Alfonzo's Pancake Breakfast"
36. "Father O'Blivion"
37. "Stink-Foot"
38. "Penguin in Bondage"
39. "Don't You Ever Wash That Thing?"
40. "Evelyn, a Modified Dog"
41. "Sam with the Showing Scalp Flat Top"
42. "Poofter's Froth Wyoming Plans Ahead"
43. "Man with the Woman Head"
44. "The Illinois Enema Bandit"
45. "Big Leg Emma"
46. "Help, I’m A Rock"
47. "Spider of Destiny"
48. "The Ocean Is the Ultimate Solution"
49. "Tryin' to Grow a Chin"
50. "Yo' Mama"
51. "Pedro's Dowry"
52. "Naval Aviation in Art?"
53. "Watermelon in Easter Hay"
54. "Soup 'n Old Clothes"
55. "Gee, I Like Your Pants"
56. "Shut Up 'n Play Yer Guitar"
57. "Shut Up 'n Play Yer Guitar Some More"
58. "Return of the Son of Shut Up 'n Play Yer Guitar"
59. "Pinocchio's Furniture"
60. "Theme from the 3rd Movement of Sinister Footwear"
61. "Charlie's Enormous Mouth"
62. "The Meek Shall Inherit Nothing"
63. "Tink Walks Amok"
64. "The Man From Utopia Meets Mary Lou"
65. "The Jazz Discharge Party Hats"
66. "The Girl in the Magnesium Dress"
67. "Hot-Plate Heaven at the Green Hotel"
68. "In-A-Gadda-Stravinsky"
69. "That's Not Really Reggae"
70. "Orrin Hatch on Skis"
71. "Jesus Thinks You're a Jerk"
72. "The Living Garbage Truck"

My favorites: 3, 12, 16, 22, 30, 55, 62, and 70. What are yours?

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Everything You Need to Know About Record Store Day
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iStock

The unlikely resurgence of vinyl as an alternative to digital music formats is made up of more than just a small subculture of purists. Today, more than 1400 independent record stores deal in both vintage and current releases. Those store owners and community supporters created Record Store Day in 2007 as a way of celebrating the grassroots movement that’s allowed a once-dying medium to thrive.

To commemorate this year’s Record Store Day on Saturday, April 21, a number of stores (a searchable list can be found here) will be offering promotional items, live music, signings, and more. While events vary widely by store, a number of artists will be issuing exclusive LPs that will be distributed around the country.

For Grateful Dead fans, a live recording of a February 27, 1969 show at Fillmore West in San Francisco will be released and limited to 6700 copies; Arcade Fire’s 2003 EP album will see a vinyl release for the first time, limited to 3000 copies; "Roxanne," the Police single celebrating its 40th anniversary this year, will see a 7-inch single release with the original jacket art.

The day also promises to be a big one for David Bowie fans. A special white vinyl version of 1977’s Bowie Now will be on shelves, along with Welcome to the Blackout (Live London ’78), a previously-unreleased, three-record set. Jimmy Page, Frank Zappa, Neil Young, and dozens of other artists will also be contributing releases.

No store is likely to carry everything you might want, so before making the stop, it might be best to call ahead and then plan on getting there early. If you’re one of the unlucky vinyl supporters without a brick and mortar store nearby, you can check out Discogs.com, which will be selling the special releases online.

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Jim Henson's Labyrinth Is Being Adapted Into a Stage Musical
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Henson Company

More than 30 years after its cinematic debut, Labyrinth could be hitting the stage. In an interview with Forbes, Jim Henson's son and Henson Company CEO Brian Henson shared plans to transform the cult classic into a live musical.

While the new musical would be missing David Bowie in his starring role as Jareth the Goblin King, it would hopefully feature the soundtrack Bowie helped write. Brian Henson says there isn't a set timeline for the project yet, but the stage adaptation of the original film is already in the works.

As for a location, Henson told Forbes he envisions it running, "Not necessarily [on] Broadway, it could be for London's West End, but it will be a stage show, a big theatrical version. It’s very exciting."

Labyrinth premiered in 1986 to measly box office earnings and tepid reviews, but Jim Henson's fairytale has since grown into a phenomenon beloved by nostalgic '80s kids and younger generations alike. In the same Forbes interview, Brian Henson also confirmed the 2017 news that a long-anticipated Labyrinth sequel is apparently in development. Though he couldn't give any specifics, Henson confirmed that, "we are still excited about it but the process moves very slowly and very carefully. We're still excited about the idea of a sequel, we are working on something, but nothing that's close enough to say it's about to be in pre-production or anything like that."

While fans eagerly await those projects to come out, they can get their fix when the film returns to theaters across the U.S. on April 29, May 1, and May 2. Don't forget to wear your best Labyrinth swag to the event.

[h/t Forbes]

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