What Kevin McCallister's Awful Family Is Doing Now

Image credit: 

It’s that time of year again: travel, annoying family, scary neighbors and, of course, bumbling burglars. Yep, I’m talking Home Alone. Since the movie is now 22 years old, Kevin McCallister’s jerky siblings are all grown up. Here’s how they've been keeping themselves busy since they were last seen harassing poor Kev.

1. Angela Goethals, AKA Linnie.

Line:

What she’s up to: Linnie has been busy. Since her turn as Kevin’s snooty sister in 1990, Angela Goethals has been in a ton of television dramas, including 24, Six Feet Under, Grey’s Anatomy, Boston Public, Crossing Jordan and Law & Order. Basically, she’s one of those actresses that makes you go, “Hey, I know her from somewhere...” every time she appears on your television.

2. Devin Ratray, AKA Buzz.

Line:

What he’s up to: Like his movie sister, Ratray has been steadily making appearances on TV ever since he pretended to puke up Kevin’s precious cheese pizza. You might have seen him on Supernatural, Law & Order and The Good Wife. He’s also in Alexander Payne’s Nebraska next year.

3. Gerry Bamman, AKA Uncle Frank.

Line:

What he’s up to: Guess who else has been on Law & Order? Yep: Uncle Frank. As four different characters over a period of nearly 15 years, actually.

4. Hillary Wolf, AKA Megan.

Line: “The dope was whining about a suitcase. What was I supposed to do? Shake his hand and say, ‘Congratulations, you're an idiot’?”

What she’s up to: Well, after landing the role of Laura in the 1992 movie Big Girls Don’t Cry... They Get Even, Wolf put acting on hold to join the 1996 and 2000 Summer Olympic Judo team for the U.S. She didn’t medal, but she is a second-degree black belt. And you thought Kevin was the tough McCallister.

5. Michael Maronna, AKA Jeff.

Line:

What he’s up to: You’re almost definitely familiar with Maronna’s work in the mid-’90s. The Adventures of Pete & Pete was basically one of the best shows to ever run on Nickelodeon (and this is coming from a huge Clarissa Explains It All fan). Though he has had some notable parts since then - Slackers, for one - Maronna is mostly working behind the camera these days. He’s done electrical rigging for movies ranging from Sex and the City to The Smurfs.

He was also in Law & Order.

6. Kristin Minter, AKA Heather.

Line: “Eleven, including me. Five boys, six girls, four parents, two drivers, and a partridge in a pear tree.”

What she’s up to: She was only the subject of the best movie tagline ever written: “When a girl has a heart of stone, there’s only one way to melt it. Just add ice.” In case that doesn’t immediately ring a bell, let me jog your memory:

Kristin Minter played Kathy, Ice’s love interest. She has not been on Law & Order. Yet.

7. Kieran Culkin, AKA Kevin’s cousin Fuller.

Line: No lines, just a lot of references to his incontinence problem.

What he’s up to: Little Fuller has since had a pretty successful career on stage and screen. He received lots of critical acclaim for his title role in Igby Goes Down in 2002 and was also enjoyable in Scott Pilgrim vs. the World in 2010. In between, he’s been starring on stages from New York to London and Sydney.

8. Anna Slotky, AKA Kevin’s cousin Brooke.

Line: Brooke is one of the cousins who tells Joe Pesci that yes, her parents are home, but no, they don’t live there.

What she’s up to: After about a decade in the entertainment industry - she was Ruth Ann in The Torkelsons and had parts on Third Rock From the Sun and Sister, Sister - Slotky went to the University of California to get her JD and is now practicing law in the Los Angeles area.

9. Senta Moses, AKA Kevin’s cousin Tracy.

Line: Tracy doesn’t talk much. I think her only line in the movie is when she asks for shampoo.

What she’s up to: Moses is another one of those actresses who has been getting consistent work on TV, but my favorite is her part as the bubbly Delia Fisher on My So-Called Life. However, if you weren’t into watching Angela Chase constantly make bad decisions about Jordan Catalano, you’ve still probably seen Senta Moses on Greek, General Hospital, The Mentalist, Beakman’s World, Sister, Sister and about a million other things.

10. Jedidiah Cohen, AKA Kevin’s cousin Rod McCallister.

Line: Rod is mostly notable for the conversation he has with Buzz about French girls not shaving their pits and how France’s nude beaches are shut down for the winter.

What he’s up to: After getting a BA in Astrophysics and Astronomy at Harvard, Cohen was the Vice President and Operations Manager at New York real estate firm Cooper & Cooper. Then he founded RocketHub, a crowdfunding site similar to Kickstarter.

More from mental_floss...

December 19, 2012 - 11:43am
submit to reddit