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12 Subjects We Didn't Realize Had Their Own Fan Fiction

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After we stumbled across some Bill Nye fan fiction, we decided to plumb the depths of Fanfiction.net and the rest of the internet to see what else is out there. Here are some of the weirdest fan fiction subjects we could find. And this is only the beginning. (Click at your own risk—here be smut!)

1. Pong

Think there couldn’t possibly be fan fiction about a set of paddles and a ball bouncing around on a black screen? Think again. Fanfiction.net has 114 fanfics—not counting crossovers—devoted to this 1972 video game. Some writers express disbelief that there’s a Pong category; others embrace it with relish. A few standout stories:

“The Last Chance” — Imprisoned and exhausted, Ball knows he has only one chance to escape.

“Blood and Thunder” — The arena roars in anticipation of the battle of a lifetime. Two titans clash, one will fall, one will triumph. Don't miss out on this epic of bloody, thunderous proportions. You'll regret it. No, really.

“PONG: A Curse” — A man has been playing Pong for his entire life ever since he was six. He is in a way cursed to play it. But one day, he meets a woman and falls in love with her. Will love lift the curse?

“A Day in Pong” — At an old beat-up arcade cabinet, the two paddles and the ball remember the good old times when they were the popular ones. Wait...why does Pong have a category, and why did I write this?

If video game fanfic is your thing, you might want to check out the Guitar Hero stories.

2. NASCAR


Buckle your seatbelts: NASCAR fan fiction isn’t so much about changing a tire at breakneck speed as it is about romancing the racecar driver of your choosing. There are at least two main sites: FanFicNation—“NASCAR fan fiction community where NASCAR fans of all drivers can come together to read, write, discuss, and giggle about their favorite drivers. It doesn't matter if it's Tony Stewart or Brian Vickers, you can find your driver here”—and Loose Lugs: “Why 'Loose Lugs' you ask? Well, to begin with, we're all a little off our rocker arms to read and write stories based on racecar drivers! How many times have you heard a driver shout 'I've got a vibration!'? And what's usually the cause of said vibration? Yep, loose lugs. Besides, it's sorta cool to call each other 'lugnut.’”

3. Classic Literature


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Ever wonder what might have happened after the ending of that classic book you read in 10th grade English class? The internet has every possible answer. On Fanfiction.net you can find 458 stories about To Kill A Mockingbird, 169 stories about Of Mice and Men (what would Steinbeck think?!), and 110 stores about The Crucible. Some fanfic about these books that you might want to read, based on description alone:

“Tales of a Fourth Grade Lovely” — Now in fourth grade, Scout's getting prettier and making more friends. However, a lot of them are boys. Yet she promises to be Dill's forever. But can she keep her promise?

“And I Get to Tend To the Rabbits” — George and Lennie meet again after George dies.

“The Ballad of Curley’s Wife Call Me Maybe” — Just a little musical interlude, Curley's Wife sings about how she met Curley

“Futuristic Assassinating Lover” — My name is Angel and I'm on a mission. I must go back in time to the Crucible and change it. Abigail Williams must die. Got the title from Katy Perry, but this is NOT a songfic. it's futuristic though... meaning time travel.

"God is Just A Bit Sick and Twisted" — Title says all.The Truth behind how Lucifer was really born.A short story on why the Salem witch-hunts occurred. crackfic. warning: a bit of sugar induced blasphemy.

Head over to the Books forum to find more literary fanfic.

4. TV Commercials


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Sometimes, a TV commercial leaves you wanting. So head on over to this forum, which is devoted to the post-commercial lives of iconic advertisement characters and more. A few of the more ridiculously enjoyable stories (at least judging by their descriptions):

"That's Why Trix Are For Kids" — The Trix rabbit longs for a bowl, a spoon, a taste. When he finally has an opportunity, what will the consequences be if he attains his prize? Both humor and tragedy, but isn't that the way of the rabbit's life?

"Activio" — "I should be studying, I should be studying" 4 bonus points if you get this. Rated K for weirdness, and stuck in the "Drama" genre because there is nothing more dramatic than irregularity.

"Folger's House" — The commercial with the couple? From the 1980's? I'm ending it my way.

"I Hate The Snuggie" — This is what I think of the Snuggie commercial. Please R&R! Flames are not appreciated.

5. Kevin Smith


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Smith's fans are busy creating homages to his work—including Clerks, Chasing Amy, and Mall Rats— in fanfic forums. For example:

"Cheer Up, Silent Bob" — Sing to the tune of "Daydream Believer" by The Monkees

"Haikus for Clerks" — Just like the title. A small collection of short, pointless haikus for Clerks and maybe Clerks 2.

"Jay & Silent Bob Visit the Magical World of Disney" — While visiting Disneyworld, our favorite drug dealers come across a portal to another world while following what appeared to be a mining dwarf. They end up in a world full of princes, princesses, and talking animals and objects. As they travel, they soon realize that their supply of pot is running low. How will Jay and Silent Bob survive with less than a pound of weed while trying to help the heroines with their quest to marry the man of their dreams?

6. Ancient Literature


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Interested in the continuing adventures of your favorite Norse gods, Biblical heroes, or ancient Greeks? There's fanfic for that!

"Bailing Yourself Out With A Straw" — Jesus and the disciples and the women drive around America in a multicolored minibus.

"Digestives of Troy" — Biscuits, always a vital part of life, have been mysteriously omitted from the Iliad. I blame later editing. But what if they were included once more...?

"The Daughter of Apollo" — What happens when the daughter of Apollo is allowed to fight in the Trojan War? Warning: Contains a lot of mythological inconsistancies and chronological errors.This is done on purpose.

"The Raven and The Milkmaid" — Freyja's necklace has been stolen, Heimdall is on the hunt for Loki, and Sigyn is just trying to milk the cows in peace. And maybe outsmart a trickster while she's at it.

"Sins of the Father" — Are monsters born or are they made? This is the story of the Norse serpent god, Jormungund, and how he fell.

BuzzFeed has also gathered some of the saucier Biblical fanfic for your reading, um, pleasure.

7. Kids' Television Shows


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This, in my opinion, is the weirdest category on this list. Why would anyone want to write fan fiction about Dora the Explorer and Thomas the Tank Engine, among other kids' shows? To be fair, I haven't seen Thomas since Ringo was conductor, so maybe there's something I'm missing. But here are a few examples that show just how weird kids' television fanfic (or in Dora's case, hatefic) can get:

"DORA'S GONE RAMBO" — DORA'S GONE ON A KILLING SPREE! Stupid, isn't it.

"A Typical Day for Dora" — A typical day in Dora's adventuring life. Yes, it does include the farting Maps, giant poop and a weird gizmo... Note: Rated for VIOLENCE and LANGUAGE. Not for Dora-lovers!

"Steamies vs. Diesels: Dawn of the Rebellion" — A humanised story about a war between the Steamies and the Diesel. An evil empire donimates the world and a small band of rebels fight for freedom and to end its tryanny.

"End of an Era" — In the future, steam engines have been made illegal, and any steam engines found by authorities are scrapped. On tank engine, Johnny, enters a resistance movement and encounters a very famous old engine . . . DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN THOMAS AND FRIENDS

"The Survivors" — Thomas finds out that he's the alst E2. He doesn't take it too well. Luckily, his friends are there for him. It's kinda soppy. Oneshot.

8. Judy Blume


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There's no underestimating the impact Judy Blume's books had on millions of young girls. Theoretically, these are the same ladies who are now paying homage to Blume's works and iconic characters—including Fudge, Blubber and Margaret—in fanfic. Some are true to Blume's original intentions, and some ... are not ("Blubber's Revenge," anyone?).

9. Perry Mason


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You can still catch Perry Mason reruns on TV today—but why watch when you can read what fanfic authors have in store for the defense attorney? There are 222 stories on Fanfiction.net—here are just a few of the stranger stories you might want to check out:

"Got Rhythm" — In the mid 80s, Della's got rhythm when she welcomes the day with some modern music and invites Perry to share it accordingly.

"Statistics" — Because I had this vision of all the main characters standing around watching someone flip a coin while Perry called every toss correctly ...

"The Case of the Memento Mori Murderer" — Perry is abducted by a vengeful young man and his unknown accomplice. Hamilton Burger and Lt. Tragg join Della and Paul in a desperate attempt to find him before it's too late. And what bearing does an unsolved 80-year-old mystery have on the case?

Of course, you could also read Erle Stanley Gardner's Perry Mason mystery novels, but where's the fun in that?

10. Citizen Kane


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Proof that for this newspaper tycoon from the classic 1941 film, there is life after Rosebud—at least on the internet, via stories like "Charlie's Love Nest."

11. Carl Sagan


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Fan fiction doesn't need to be about fictional characters. Real people have fans too! Take, for example, the late Carl Sagan, one of the greatest astronomers of our time. He popularized science through his television show, Cosmos; wrote about space in science fiction novels like Contact (which was eventually turned into a movie starring Jodie Foster); and waxed eloquent about the pale blue dot we live on in "Reflections on a Mote of Dust." Sagan has no shortage of fans, and some of them have chosen to write about him or use him as inspiration:

"The Wormhole in my Mind" — Carl Sagan fanfic. Is that a thing? Well, it is now. After finding a golden ticket allowing travel in space and time, with a guest alive, dead, or fictional, I go on an adventure with Carl Sagan through the cosmos.

"Canned Primate" — “Houston, we’ve had a problem.” The two tall, slender men were sprawled outside on a park bench on the Cornell University campus. It was April 13th 1970, the Ides of April. One was wearing a bright orange nylon parka, the other a long wooly brown coat...

"Eighteen Hours" — Based on the film adaptation of the novel "Contact" by Carl Sagan: A recount of of Ellie's journey via the Machine in Hokkaido, from the perspective of Dr. Kent Clark.

12. Frosty the Snowman


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There's no letting Frosty the Snowman melt away in the fan fiction world. If you want to liven up your annual holiday caroling, sub out the regular "Frosty the Snowman" lyrics for the words from "Frost-T The Kill Bot, Wherein a Snowman-shaped Killer Robot Goes on a Homicidal Rampage."

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11 Ridiculously Overdue Library Books (That Were Finally Returned)
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Last week, Massachusetts's Attleboro Public Library received a big surprise when one of its regular patrons returned a copy of T.S. Arthur's The Young Lady at Home ... more than 78 years after it had been checked out. 

The man, whose name was not revealed, was reportedly helping a friend clean out his basement when he came across the tome. He recognized the library's stamp, then noticed its original due date: November 21, 1938. “We were amazed,” said Amy Rhilinger, the library’s assistant director. “I’ve worked here for 15 years, and I’ve never seen anything like this before.”

Because the library charges $.10 per day for overdue books, the total bill for this dusty read would come to about $2800—but the library isn't planning to cash in. “We’re not the library police," Rhilinger said. "We’re not tracking everyone’s things. Everyone returns things a few [days] late, and it’s one thing we joke about here.”

Though it's rare, the decades-overdue book's return is not unprecedented. Here are 11 more tardy returns.

1. The Versatile Grain and the Elegant Bean: A Celebration of the World’s Most Healthful Foods by Sheryl and Mel London

LOANED FROM: The Lawrence Public Library in Lawrence, Kansas
YEARS OVERDUE: 21

In 2014, someone anonymously returned this fitness-friendly cookbook, which had been missing since September 24, 1992. The volume, published that April, contains over 300 recipes—and it’s probably safe to assume that the culprit had plenty of time to try out every single one of them.

2. The Real Book About Snakes by Jane Sherman

LOANED FROM: The Champaign County Library in Urbana, Ohio 
YEARS OVERDUE: 41

Like the previous entry, whoever turned in this musty old field guide declined to reveal his name. But lest anyone question the man’s honesty, he also left the following note: “Sorry I’ve kept this book so long, but I’m a really slow reader! I’ve enclosed my fine of $299.30 (41 years, 2 cents a day). Once again, my apologies!”

3. Days and Deeds: A Book of Verse for Children’s Reading and Speaking compiled by Burton and Elizabeth Stevenson

LOANED FROM: The Kewanee Public Library in Kewanee, Illinois
YEARS OVERDUE: 47

According to Guinness World Records, the $345.14 fee paid by the borrower of this lyrical compilation stands as the highest library fine ever paid.

4. The Fire of Francis Xavier by Arthur R. McGratty

LOANED FROM: The New York Public Library, Fort Washington Branch, in New York, New York
YEARS OVERDUE: 55

In 2013, this one was discreetly mailed in and the perpetrator was never brought to justice (be on guard, Big Apple bibliophiles).

5. The Adventures of Pinocchio by Carlo Collodi

LOANED FROM: The Rugby Library in Warwick, England 
YEARS OVERDUE: 63

The item found its way home during an eight-day “fines amnesty period,” which shielded the guilty patron from a £4000 penalty. “It’s amazing to think how much the library has changed since that book was taken out in 1950,” said librarian Joanna Girdle. 

6. The Picture of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde

LOANED FROM: The Chicago Public Library in Chicago, Illinois 
YEARS OVERDUE: 78

Harlean Hoffman Vision found a rare edition of this novel nestled amongst her late mother’s personal effects and vowed to set things right. “She kept saying, ‘You’re not going to arrest me?’” recalled marketing director Ruth Lednicer, “and we said, ‘No, we’re so happy you brought it back.’”

7. Master of Men by E. Phillips Oppenheim

Amazon, Public Domain

LOANED FROM: The Leicester County Library in Leicester, England
YEARS OVERDUE: 79

Oppenheim was born in the surrounding region and, hence, the Leicestershire County Council was thrilled to reclaim this piece of their literary heritage after it turned up in a nearby house—even though the library branch it originally belonged to had shut down decades earlier.

8. Facts I Ought to Know About the Government of My Country by William H. Bartlett

Amazon, Public Domain

LOANED FROM: The New Bedford Public Library in New Bedford, Massachusetts
YEARS OVERDUE: 99

Stanley Dudek of Mansfield, Massachusetts claims that his mother—a Polish immigrant—decided to brush up on American politics by borrowing this volume from the New Bedford Library in 1910. “For a person who was just becoming a citizen, it was the perfect book for her,” says Dudek.

9. Insectivorous Plants by Charles Darwin

LOANED FROM: The Camden School of Arts Lending Library in Sydney, Australia
YEARS OVERDUE: 122

An Australian copy of Darwin’s treatise on bug-eating flora was borrowed in 1889. After two World Wars, Neil Armstrong’s moon landing, and the birth of the internet, it was finally returned on July 22, 2011.

10. The Ancient History of the Egyptians, Carthaginians, Assyrians, Babylonians, Medes and Persians, Macedonians, and Grecians (volume II) by Charles Rollin

LOANED FROM: The Grace Doherty Library in Danville, Kentucky
YEARS OVERDUE: 150 (approximately)

In 2013, this tome was discovered at a neighboring school for the deaf, where it had presumably been stored since 1854 (as evidenced by a note written inside dating to that year). The library owns no records from this period, so exactly how long it was gone is anybody’s guess, but, said librarian Stan Campbell, “It’s been out of the library for at least 150 years."

11. The Law of Nations by Emmerich de Vattel

LOANED FROM: The New York Society Library in New York City
YEARS OVERDUE: 221

Five months into his first presidential term, George Washington borrowed this legal manifesto from the historic New York Society Library. For the next 221 years, it remained stowed away at his Virginia home, and organization officials wondered if they’d ever see it again. “We’re not actively pursuing overdue fines,” joked head librarian Mark Bartlett. “But we would be very happy to see the book returned.” His wish was granted when Mount Vernon staff finally sent it back in 2010 (luckily, they dodged a whopping $300,000 late fee).

An earlier version of this post appeared in 2014.

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11 Popular Quotes Commonly Misattributed to F. Scott Fitzgerald
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F. Scott Fitzgerald wrote a lot of famous lines, from musings on failure in Tender is the Night to “so we beat on, boats against the current” from The Great Gatsby. Yet even with a seemingly never-ending well of words and beautiful quotations, many popular idioms and phrases are wrongly attributed to the famous Jazz Age author, who was born on this day in 1896. Here are 11 popular phrases that are often misattributed to Fitzgerald. (You may need to update your Pinterest boards.)

1. “WRITE DRUNK, EDIT SOBER.”

This quote is often attributed to either Fitzgerald or his contemporary, Ernest Hemingway, who died in 1961. There is no evidence in the collected works of either writer to support that attribution; the idea was first associated with Fitzgerald in a 1996 Associated Press story, and later in Stephen Fry’s memoir More Fool Me. In actuality, humorist Peter De Vries coined an early version of the phrase in a 1964 novel titled Reuben, Reuben.

2. “FOR WHAT IT’S WORTH: IT’S NEVER TOO LATE OR, IN MY CASE, TOO EARLY TO BE WHOEVER YOU WANT TO BE.”

It’s easy to see where the mistake could be made regarding this quote: Fitzgerald wrote the short story “The Curious Case of Benjamin Button” in 1922 for Collier's Magazine, and it was adapted into a movie of the same name, directed by David Fincher and starring Brad Pitt and Cate Blanchett, in 2008. Eric Roth wrote the screenplay, in which that quotation appears.

3. “OUR LIVES ARE DEFINED BY OPPORTUNITIES, EVEN THE ONES WE MISS.”

This is a similar case to the previous quotation; this quote is attributed to Benjamin Button’s character in the film adaptation. It’s found in the script, but not in the original short story.

4. “YOU’LL UNDERSTAND WHY STORMS ARE NAMED AFTER PEOPLE.”

There is no evidence that Fitzgerald penned this line in any of his known works. In this Pinterest pin, it is attributed to his novel The Beautiful and Damned. However, nothing like that appears in the book; additionally, according to the National Atmospheric and Oceanic Association, although there were a few storms named after saints, and an Australian meteorologist was giving storms names in the 19th century, the practice didn’t become widespread until after 1941. Fitzgerald died in 1940.

5. “A SENTIMENTAL PERSON THINKS THINGS WILL LAST. A ROMANTIC PERSON HAS A DESPERATE CONFIDENCE THAT THEY WON’T.”

This exact quote does not appear in Fitzgerald’s work—though a version of it does, in his 1920 novel This Side of Paradise:

“No, I’m romantic—a sentimental person thinks things will last—a romantic person hopes against hope that they won’t. Sentiment is emotional.” The incorrect version is widely circulated and requoted.

6. “IT’S A FUNNY THING ABOUT COMING HOME. NOTHING CHANGES. EVERYTHING LOOKS THE SAME, FEELS THE SAME, EVEN SMELLS THE SAME. YOU REALIZE WHAT’S CHANGED IS YOU.”

This quote also appears in the 2008 The Curious Case of Benjamin Button script, but not in the original short story.

7. “GREAT BOOKS WRITE THEMSELVES; ONLY BAD BOOKS HAVE TO BE WRITTEN.”

There is no evidence of this quote in any of Fitzgerald’s writings; it mostly seems to circulate on websites like qotd.org, quotefancy.com and azquotes.com with no clarification as to where it originated.

8. “SHE WAS BEAUTIFUL, BUT NOT LIKE THOSE GIRLS IN THE MAGAZINES. SHE WAS BEAUTIFUL FOR THE WAY SHE THOUGHT. SHE WAS BEAUTIFUL FOR THE SPARKLE IN HER EYES WHEN SHE TALKED ABOUT SOMETHING SHE LOVED. SHE WAS BEAUTIFUL FOR HER ABILITY TO MAKE OTHER PEOPLE SMILE, EVEN IF SHE WAS SAD. NO, SHE WASN’T BEAUTIFUL FOR SOMETHING AS TEMPORARY AS HER LOOKS. SHE WAS BEAUTIFUL, DEEP DOWN TO HER SOUL.”

This quote may have originated in a memoir/advice book published in 2011 by Natalie Newman titled Butterflies and Bullshit, where it appears in its entirety. It was attributed to Fitzgerald in a January 2015 Thought Catalog article, and was quoted as written by an unknown source in Hello, Beauty Full: Seeing Yourself as God Sees You by Elisa Morgan, published in September 2015. However, there’s no evidence that Fitzgerald said or wrote anything like it.

9. “AND IN THE END, WE WERE ALL JUST HUMANS, DRUNK ON THE IDEA THAT LOVE, ONLY LOVE, COULD HEAL OUR BROKENNESS.”

Christopher Poindexter, the successful Instagram poet, wrote this as part of a cycle of poems called “the blooming of madness” in 2013. After a Twitter account called @SirJayGatsby tweeted the phrase with no attribution, it went viral as being attributed to Fitzgerald. Poindexter has addressed its origin on several occasions.

10. “YOU NEED CHAOS IN YOUR SOUL TO GIVE BIRTH TO A DANCING STAR.”

This poetic phrase is actually derived from the work of philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche, who died in 1900, just four years after Fitzgerald was born in 1896. In his book Thus Spake ZarathustraNietzsche wrote the phrase, “One must have chaos within to enable one to give birth to a dancing star.” Over time, it’s been truncated and modernized into the currently popular version, which was included in the 2009 book You Majored in What?: Designing Your Path from College to Career by Katharine Brooks.

11. “FOR THE GIRLS WITH MESSY HAIR AND THIRSTY HEARTS.”

This quote is the dedication in Jodi Lynn Anderson’s book Tiger Lily, a reimagining of the classic story of Peter Pan. While it is often attributed to Anderson, many Tumblr pages and online posts cite Fitzgerald as its author.

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