The Weird Week in Review
Congress Votes to Ban the Word ‘Lunatic’
Congress cannot agree on what to do to avoid the fiscal cliff, but the House of Representatives overwhelmingly agreed to ban the word "lunatic" from all federal legislation. The vote Wednesday was 398-1 in favor of the ban. One has to wonder why the word comes up in legislative bills at all. The bill follows others intended to stop the use of outdated terminology concerning the mentally ill. The one dissenting vote came from Texas congressman Louie Gohmert, who said, "we should use the word to describe the people who want to continue with business as usual in Washington.”
Handyman Forced to Fix Home
A good handyman is hard to find -and even harder to keep. A couple in Morgan Hill, California, were arrested on kidnapping and other charges for holding a handyman against his will and forcing him to do repairs on their home. They lured him into their home on Monday morning.
Detectives said 36-year-old Jason DeJesus and 33-year-old Chanelle Troedson beat the handyman, threatened to kill him and forced him to fix several items in the house over a six-hour span. The repairs included a dishwasher and a broken door.
“The victim was pretty terrified. He was pretty shaken up and scared by this whole incident,” Cardoza said. “What he did tell investigators is that he was just trying to do what he was being told, wait for the opportunity to escape.”
The unnamed victim escaped when he was being transported to another house for additional work Monday night. He fled during a stop for gasoline on the way. Police arrested the couple shortly afterward.
Beached Whale Rotting Near Bob Dylan's Home
A 20-ton fin whale washed up on the beach at Malibu, California, near the homes of celebrities such as Bob Dylan and Barbra Streisand on Monday. Officials still haven't decided what to do with it. Los Angeles County Lifeguards had planned to tow the 40-foot whale out to sea, but found on Thursday that the carcass is too deep in the beach, and is too degraded and would have fallen apart. Burial may be too difficult, as the beach is rocky. Meanwhile, the smell of the rotting carcass is "Blowin' in the Wind."
Man Shoots Girlfriend Over The Walking Dead
Jared Gurman of Long Island, New York, was arrested for shooting his unnamed girlfriend on Monday. The woman is in stable condition with multiple injuries. According to Nassau County police, an argument started at the girlfriend's home over the TV show The Walking Dead. The 26-year-old Gurman insisted the zombie scenario could happen in real life, and became so upset that she took him home. However, he continued to argue by text until she went by Gurman's home to check on him. He was waiting outside the door with a .22-caliber rifle. As she walked up the stairs, he shot her once in the back. Gurman was arrested on a charge of attempted murder.
Russia Going Nuts Over Mayan Calendar
Russian officials have gone to great lengths to quell fears of the world ending on December 21st, the day the ancient Mayan calendar runs out. Reports of stores being wiped out of supplies, a "mass psychosis" at a women's prison, and citizens who are building an arch of ice in Chelyabinsk sparked the official response.
As a consequence the Russian government's minister for emergency situations has sought to calm panic over the prophecy, saying he had access to "methods of monitoring what is occurring on the planet Earth," and that he could say with confidence that the world was not going to end in December.
At least one official has suggested prosecuting people for spreading rumors and panicking the public.
Whisky Restores Sight in Man Blinded by Vodka
Denis Duthie is a 65-year-old diabetic who had too much vodka at an anniversary party in July. Duthie went blind while drinking at the party, and when his sight hadn't returned the next day, he was taken to Taranaki Base Hospital in New Zealand. Doctors there suspected formaldehyde poisoning, which is treated with alcohol infusion. Since the hospital was out of medical alcohol, they fetched a bottle of Johnny Walker Scotch Whisky from a liquor store and introduced it into Duthie's stomach by feeding tube. He stayed in intensive care for a week, and his eyesight was restored within ten days. Now, Duthie says he can see clearly, and he hasn't had a drop of alcohol since the incident.