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The Weird Week in Review

Congress Votes to Ban the Word ‘Lunatic’

Congress cannot agree on what to do to avoid the fiscal cliff, but the House of Representatives overwhelmingly agreed to ban the word "lunatic" from all federal legislation. The vote Wednesday was 398-1 in favor of the ban. One has to wonder why the word comes up in legislative bills at all. The bill follows others intended to stop the use of outdated terminology concerning the mentally ill. The one dissenting vote came from Texas congressman Louie Gohmert, who said, "we should use the word to describe the people who want to continue with business as usual in Washington.”

Handyman Forced to Fix Home

A good handyman is hard to find -and even harder to keep. A couple in Morgan Hill, California, were arrested on kidnapping and other charges for holding a handyman against his will and forcing him to do repairs on their home. They lured him into their home on Monday morning.

Detectives said 36-year-old Jason DeJesus and 33-year-old Chanelle Troedson beat the handyman, threatened to kill him and forced him to fix several items in the house over a six-hour span. The repairs included a dishwasher and a broken door.

“The victim was pretty terrified. He was pretty shaken up and scared by this whole incident,” Cardoza said. “What he did tell investigators is that he was just trying to do what he was being told, wait for the opportunity to escape.”

The unnamed victim escaped when he was being transported to another house for additional work Monday night. He fled during a stop for gasoline on the way. Police arrested the couple shortly afterward.

Beached Whale Rotting Near Bob Dylan's Home

A 20-ton fin whale washed up on the beach at Malibu, California, near the homes of celebrities such as Bob Dylan and Barbra Streisand on Monday. Officials still haven't decided what to do with it. Los Angeles County Lifeguards had planned to tow the 40-foot whale out to sea, but found on Thursday that the carcass is too deep in the beach, and is too degraded and would have fallen apart. Burial may be too difficult, as the beach is rocky. Meanwhile, the smell of the rotting carcass is "Blowin' in the Wind."

Man Shoots Girlfriend Over The Walking Dead

Jared Gurman of Long Island, New York, was arrested for shooting his unnamed girlfriend on Monday. The woman is in stable condition with multiple injuries. According to Nassau County police, an argument started at the girlfriend's home over the TV show The Walking Dead. The 26-year-old Gurman insisted the zombie scenario could happen in real life, and became so upset that she took him home. However, he continued to argue by text until she went by Gurman's home to check on him. He was waiting outside the door with a .22-caliber rifle. As she walked up the stairs, he shot her once in the back. Gurman was arrested on a charge of attempted murder.

Russia Going Nuts Over Mayan Calendar

Russian officials have gone to great lengths to quell fears of the world ending on December 21st, the day the ancient Mayan calendar runs out. Reports of stores being wiped out of supplies, a "mass psychosis" at a women's prison, and citizens who are building an arch of ice in Chelyabinsk sparked the official response.

As a consequence the Russian government's minister for emergency situations has sought to calm panic over the prophecy, saying he had access to "methods of monitoring what is occurring on the planet Earth," and that he could say with confidence that the world was not going to end in December.

At least one official has suggested prosecuting people for spreading rumors and panicking the public.

Whisky Restores Sight in Man Blinded by Vodka

Denis Duthie is a 65-year-old diabetic who had too much vodka at an anniversary party in July. Duthie went blind while drinking at the party, and when his sight hadn't returned the next day, he was taken to Taranaki Base Hospital in New Zealand. Doctors there suspected formaldehyde poisoning, which is treated with alcohol infusion. Since the hospital was out of medical alcohol, they fetched a bottle of Johnny Walker Scotch Whisky from a liquor store and introduced it into Duthie's stomach by feeding tube. He stayed in intensive care for a week, and his eyesight was restored within ten days. Now, Duthie says he can see clearly, and he hasn't had a drop of alcohol since the incident.

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22 Emojis That Look Completely Different on Different Phones
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iStock

Emojis are a great addition to our communication toolbox. Without saying a word, we can talk about people, places, things, and emotions. But different platforms sometimes display the same emoji specification in different ways. An eye roll might come across as petulant or cheerful. A snake might look threatening or adorable. To help you navigate some potentially confusing cross-platform interactions, here are 22 emojis (referred to by their programming code names) that come out with important differences on Apple (iOS 11.1), Google (Android 8), and Samsung (Galaxy S8).

1. FACE WITH ROLLING EYES

3 different face with rolling eyes emojis from Apple, Google, and Samsung

Apple: Way to miss the point.
Google: Ugh. Oh boy. Nice one. NOT!
Samsung: Heh, heh. Neato.

2. SNAKE

3 different snake emojis from Apple, Google, and Samsung

Apple: Beware!
Google: Beware?
Samsung: Aww. Snakey-poo.

3. NERD FACE

Three different nerd face emojis from Apple, Google, and Samsung

Apple: Nerdy cuteness.
Google: Nerdy excitement!
Samsung: Nerdy astonishment!

4. COOKIE

Three different cookie emojis from Apple, Google, and Samsung

Apple: Mmm. Delicious chocolate chips…
Google: Raisins? Nuts?
Samsung: Uh, thanks for the cookie?

5. LOUDLY CRYING FACE

Three different loudly crying face emojis from Apple, Google, and Samsung

Apple: River of tears.
Google: Waterfall of tears.
Samsung: Cast adrift on a lake of tears.

6. GHOST

Three different ghost emojis from Apple, Google, and Samsung

Apple: Ready for a goofy good scare?!
Google: Me scary! (*wink*)
Samsung: (*clears throat*) Um, boo.

7. COUCH AND LAMP

Three different couch and lamp emojis from Apple, Google, and Samsung

Apple: Midcentury modern pad.
Google: Office waiting room.
Samsung: Haunted Victorian hotel.

8. CHIPMUNK

Three different chipmunk emojis from Apple, Google, and Samsung

Apple: Cute? No. Please allow me my dignity.
Google: Tee hee. Cute!
Samsung: Where did I put those nuts…

9. OCTOPUS

Three different octopus emojis from Apple, Google, and Samsung

Apple: Oh. You surprised me there.
Google: Boo! I surprise YOU!
Samsung: Hellooooooo, over there.

10. CAT FACE

Three different cat emojis from Apple, Google, and Samsung

Apple: Always identified more with the mice, actually.
Google: On the internet, everyone loves a cat!
Samsung: Your texts are tedious.

11. PIZZA

Three different pizza emojis from Apple, Google, and Samsung

Apple: Pepperoni.
Google: Pepperoni and olives.
Samsung: Pepperoni, olives, and extra cheese.

12. MAN DANCING

Three different man dancing emojis from Apple, Google, and Samsung
Apple/Google/Samsung

Apple: Disco in the '70s.
Google: Miami Vice in the '80s.
Samsung: Dabbing, whipping, and nae-naeing at the middle school.

13. OLD MAN

Three different old man emojis from Apple, Google, and Samsung

Apple: More like middle-aged.
Google: Old and yet somehow babyish.
Samsung: Very prematurely grey kid.

14. RUNNING SHOE

Three different running shoe emojis from Apple, Google, and Samsung

Apple: Ready for the 5K.
Google: Ready for some stickball.
Samsung: Ready for the playground.

15. DETECTIVE

Three different detective emojis from Apple, Google, and Samsung

Apple: Experienced and ready to assist.
Google: No experience yet, but can’t wait to start!
Samsung: Seen too much.

16. PERSON SURFING

Three different person surfing emojis from Apple, Google, and Samsung

Apple: Awesome!
Google: Pretty fun.
Samsung: Whoa. Help.

17. FRAMED PICTURE

Three different framed picture emojis from Apple, Google, and Samsung

Apple: For the nursery.
Google: For the den.
Samsung: For the great hall.

18. DROOLING FACE

Three different drooling face emojis from Apple, Google, and Samsung

Apple: Sooo delicious…
Google: Sooo incomprehensible…
Samsung: Sooo disturbing…

19. CLAPPING HANDS

Three different clapping emojis from Apple, Google, and Samsung

Apple: Pay attention!
Google: Polite applause.
Samsung: Hushed appreciation.

20. T-SHIRT

Three different t-shirt emojis from Apple, Google, and Samsung

Apple: Casual Friday at the office.
Google: Saturday at the gym.
Samsung: Sunday on the couch.

21. PERSON FROWNING

Three different person frowning emojis from Apple, Google, and Samsung

Apple: Hurt and disappointed.
Google: Crushed and disappointed.
Samsung: Not gonna stand for it anymore.

22. FEARFUL FACE

Three different fearful face emojis from Apple, Google, and Samsung

Apple: Yikes! Aaack! No way!
Google: Oh dear! Why! I feel sick!
Samsung: Bzzzt! Yoinks!

Check the platform differences for all the emojis at Emojipedia.

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This Just In
Australians Vote to Name New Sydney Harbor Boat 'Ferry McFerryface'
NSW Transport
NSW Transport

Proving that some jokes never die (or at least take a little longer to reach the Land Down Under), Sydney has a new ferry named Ferry McFerryface, according to BBC News.

For the uninitiated, the name Ferry McFerryface pays homage to an English practical joke from 2016. It all started when the UK's Natural Environment Research Council (NERC) made global headlines after launching an online poll to name a nearly $300 million polar research ship. Leading the vote by a significant margin was the moniker “Boaty McBoatface.”

For a short period, it seemed as though jokesters would pull off their naming coup. But once the competition reached its end, government officials ultimately decided to override the poll. They named the research ship RSS Sir David Attenborough instead, although they did agree to give the name Boaty McBoatface to one of its submarines.

Sydney recently held a similar competition to name a fleet of six new harbor ferries, and the results were announced in mid-November. Locals submitted more than 15,000 names, and winning submissions included the names of esteemed Australian doctors, prominent Aboriginal Australians, and—yes—Ferry McFerryface, according to the Associated Press. Boaty McBoatface also came out on top, but it was struck down.

“Given ‘Boaty’ was already taken by another vessel, we’ve gone with the next most popular name nominated by Sydneysiders,” said Andrew Constance, the New South Wales minister for transport and infrastructure, in a statement. “Ferry McFerryface will be the harbor’s newest icon and I hope it brings a smile to the faces of visitors and locals alike.”

[h/t BBC News]

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