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The Lost Scripts, Part II: Indiana Jones and the Saucermen from Mars

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While it’s not unusual for a film to have unused screenplays hiding in a filing cabinet somewhere, the lost scripts of Indiana Jones are a fascinating look at what might have been for everyone’s favorite whip-wielding, fedora-wearing archaeologist. Today let's discuss Indiana Jones and the Saucermen from Mars.

The Story Behind the Story

After the success of Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade, director Steven Spielberg and star Harrison Ford were ready to do a fourth film. However, executive producer and writer George Lucas felt that he'd explored the character in the movies as much as he could. So everyone moved on to other projects, though Lucas stuck with Indy as executive producer of the television show, The Young Indiana Jones Chronicles.

While filming a two-part episode that featured a cameo by Harrison Ford as a 50-year old Indiana Jones, Lucas got an idea to bring Indy back. This time, he wouldn't be the same daring young archaeologist that he was in the first three movies. Instead, he would be an older man that couldn't go on the same adventures anymore; he might even decide to finally settle down and get married. And if the first three movies were a tribute to the serials of the 1930s and 40s, this one would take place in the 1950s and homage the sci-fi flying saucer B-movies of that era.

To that end, Lucas wrote a basic story outline with some key action set pieces as he had for all the previous Indiana Jones movies, and handed it off to screenwriter Jeb Stuart, writer of Die Hard and co-author of The Fugitive. The result was a 1995 screenplay titled, Indiana Jones and the Saucermen from Mars.

The Plot


After battling river pirates and a rival archaeologist, Indy and his friend Kabul stop at a local fishing port to pick up Dr. Elaine McGregor, a linguist, whom Indy has been hired to escort to a jungle temple. Indy is instantly smitten with the confident brunette, and through various adventures, the two rough-edged academics fall in love.

Back stateside, Indy and Elaine are about to tie the knot, despite barely knowing one another. Indy's former flames, Marion and Willie, his old friend Sallah, and Henry Jones, Sr. are there to witness an event they thought they'd never see. As Indy and his father stand at the altar waiting for Elaine to walk down the aisle, she leaves — still dressed in her gown — and hops in a car with a mysterious man.

A heartbroken Indy searches Elaine's office and finds clues that point to her going to the White Sands Proving Grounds in New Mexico, the military base where the Trinity nuclear bomb tests were held. Indy gets caught snooping around the base and is interrogated by Bob Bolander, the same man that took Elaine away from the wedding.

When Elaine is called to verify Indy’s story, she realizes she could actually use his help. Despite Bolander’s resistance, Indy is allowed to join a top secret project researching debris found at the crash site of a flying saucer. Indy is skeptical, but his interest is piqued when he's shown the charred remains of alien bodies, as well as a strange stone cylinder. The cylinder is covered in a series of rings and complex code written in ancient languages including early Egyptian hieroglyphics and Sanskrit. In addition, the cylinder is a great source of power, able to turn on a radio or illuminate a light bulb by proximity alone.

Thanks to a room-sized computer, Indy and Elaine crack the coded symbols on the cylinder. One section is latitude and longitude coordinates for nearby Mt. Keebo. Indy surmises that perhaps the aliens were trying to take the cylinder to the mountain when they crashed. The rest of the code seems to be descending numbers, like the countdown for a bomb. That can't be good.

Soon after, Elaine and the cylinder are taken and placed aboard a plane full of Russian spies. Indy tries to rescue her, but is about to be tossed out the bomb bay doors when a flying saucer appears and tries to take control of the plane. Its plan is foiled, though, when Air Force jets are scrambled, leading to a high-speed dogfight.

Later, our heroes have a close encounter of the third kind after their truck is lifted off the ground by a beam coming from the bottom of the saucer. When Indy approaches the aliens to return the cylinder, whose rings are now glowing because the countdown has begun, the aliens back away and keep saying, “Mukara. Mukara.” Being a linguist, Elaine realizes that Mukara is Sanskrit for “dangerous.”

Suddenly, explosions rock the area as Army tanks and missiles under the command of Bolander destroy the UFO. Bolander takes the cylinder and he and his convoy head towards Mt. Keebo. Indy and Elaine – as well as a Russian spy and a new flying saucer – give chase.

Just before going up the mountain, the Army attacks the flying saucer with everything they’ve got. But this time, when the shooting stops, the ship is unharmed. It begins to rise above the ridgeline and we see that it’s a gigantic mothership that fills the sky. Bolander hightails it in his Jeep, but the rest of the convoy is frozen in horror. The saucer is able to conjure up a great wind that sweeps through the valley, flipping trucks and tanks like a child’s toys, and burying men in the desert sand.

On Mt. Keebo, just before dawn, three saucers appear in the sky, each emitting a green light focused on the summit. Bolander takes the cylinder into the green lights and holds it above his head as his body surges with power. Suddenly, a bright white light shoots out of the cylinder. Bolander points it at the Russian, who melts before our eyes.

But then, the sun breaks the horizon, and it seems to invigorate the saucers, which glow brighter and brighter. Bolander holds the cylinder above his head again, hoping that its power will have some effect on the spacecraft. Instead, a beam fires out of the bottom of the cylinder, splitting Bolander in two. The cylinder’s white light becomes blinding, the hum of the saucers becomes deafening, and then, in a flash...the saucers and the cylinder are gone.

Back at home, Elaine and Indy finally get married with the same old friends in attendance. When they get in the car, a now grown-up Short Round drives the happy couple off into the sunset.

The Action

Coming from the guy who brought us Die Hard, you would have high expectations for the action sequences in Saucermen. You would be sorely disappointed. Sure, Indy has a fistfight on a rocket engine test sled, but that scene shows up so often in other Indy IV scripts that it’s clearly something Lucas insisted upon. Other than that, the set pieces just aren’t all that exciting. Perhaps most telling is that Indy punches a lot of bad guys, but he only uses his whip once in the very beginning. The whip isn’t even mentioned again for the rest of the script. What's an Indy movie without a few scenes of the bullwhip? Without some script punch-ups, it would have been the least-Indy Indy movie of the series.

Aside from the rocket sled, we see other echoes of Saucermen in future Indy IV scripts. For example, flesh-stripping army ants play an important role in the opening scenes in Borneo. These tiny red menaces are a constant presence in other Indy IV scripts, clear through to the final release of Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. Even the much-maligned “nuke the fridge” scene is here, though it plays out a little differently. Instead of crawling inside the fridge, Indy throws himself into a very shallow crawlspace and pulls the fridge down over the hole “like a lead-lined turtle shell.” Whether or not he’d survive a nuclear blast even in this scenario is still up for debate, though.

The Aftermath

Oxymoronic, boring action sequences aside, perhaps the worst offense of the script is that the cylinder is a poorly-defined plot device. We know it's a power source, but we're never quite sure how it works, what will happen if the countdown reaches zero, why the cylinder needed to go to Mt. Keebo, why the aliens were carrying it in the first place, or, if the aliens don't want it when Indy tries to give it back, why they follow it all over the New Mexico desert throughout the rest of the story. Ultimately, it’s not very exciting because we don’t really know what’s at stake.

Regardless of its shortcomings, Indiana Jones and the Saucermen from Mars was what Lucas wanted to see. It wasn't, however, what Spielberg wanted to direct. Spielberg had already done his fair share of alien movies with 1977's Close Encounters of the Third Kind and 1982's E.T.: The Extra-Terrestrial; it simply wasn't a genre he was interested in revisiting at the time. Ford wasn't a fan, either. He felt that the paranormal element was too blatant. Although the Indy films had always had a hint of the supernatural, it had always been in the background, which made it easier for fans to accept.

Lucas continued working on the idea with screenwriter Jeffrey Boam, who had written Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade. In December 1995, Boam came up with a script that finally convinced Spielberg and Ford that the alien idea could work...and then Independence Day came out that summer. To avoid looking like a copycat of a wildly successful film, Spielberg killed Indy vs. Aliens almost immediately. But Lucas held his ground and refused to do an Indy IV unless it involved little green men. At an impasse, everyone went their separate ways and it appeared that the franchise would conclude with The Last Crusade.

Stay tuned for the next exciting episode, Indiana Jones and the City of the Gods

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Paw Enforcement: A History of McGruff the Crime Dog
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Stephen Dunn/Getty Images

Jack Keil, executive creative director of the Dancer Fitzgerald Sample ad agency, was stuck in a Kansas City airport at three in the morning when he started thinking about Smokey Bear. Smokey was the furred face of forest fire prevention, an amiable creature who cautioned against the hazards of unattended campfires or errant cigarette butts. Everyone, it seemed, knew Smokey and heeded his words.

In 1979, Keil’s agency had been tasked with coming up with a campaign for the recently-instituted National Crime Prevention Council (NCPC), a nonprofit organization looking to educate the public about crime prevention. If Keil could create a Smokey for their mission, he figured he would have a hit. He considered an elephant who could stamp out crime, or a rabbit who was hopping mad about illegal activity.

A dog seemed to fit. Dogs bit things, and the NCPC was looking to take a bite out of crime. Keil sketched a dog reminiscent of Snoopy with a Keystone Cop-style hat.

Back at the agency, people loved the idea but hated the dog. In a week’s time, the cartoon animal would morph into McGruff, the world-weary detective who has raised awareness about everything from kidnapping to drug abuse. While he no longer looked like Snoopy, he was about to become just as famous.

In 1979, the public service advertising nonprofit the Ad Council held a meeting to discuss American paranoia. Crime was a hot button issue, with sensational reports about drugs, home invasions, and murders taking up the covers of major media outlets like Newsweek and TIME. Surveys reported that citizens were concerned about crime rates and neighborhood safety. Respondents felt helpless to do anything, since more law enforcement meant increased taxes.

To combat public perception, the Ad Council wanted to commit to an advertising campaign that would act as a preventive measure. Crime could not be stopped, but the feeling was that it could be dented with more informed communities. Maybe a clean park would be less inviting to criminals; people might need to be reminded to lock their doors.

What people did not need was a lecture. So the council enlisted Dancer Fitzgerald Sample to organize a campaign that promoted awareness in the most gentle way possible. Keil's colleagues weighed in on his dog idea; someone suggested that the canine be modeled after J. Edgar Hoover, another saw a Superman-esque dog that would fly in to interrupt crime. Sherry Nemmers and Ray Krivascy offered an alternative take: a dog wearing a trench coat and smoking a cigar, modeled in part after Peter Falk’s performance as the rumpled TV detective Columbo.

Keil had designs on getting Falk to voice the animated character, but the actor’s methodical delivery wasn’t suited to 30-second commercials, so Keil did it himself. His scratchy voice lent an authoritarian tone, but wasn't over-the-top.

The agency ran a contest on the back of cereal boxes to name the dog. “Sherlock Bones” was the most common submission, but "McGruff"—which was suggested by a New Orleans police officer—won out.

Armed with a look, a voice, and a name, Nemmers arranged for a series of ads to run in the fall of 1980. In the spots, McGruff was superimposed over scenes of a burglary and children wary of being kidnapped by men in weather-beaten cars. He advised people to call the police if they spotted something suspicious—like strangers taking off with the neighbor’s television or sofa—and to keep their doors locked. He sat at a piano and sang “users are losers” in reference to drug-abusing adolescents. (The cigar had been scrapped.)

Most importantly, the NCPC—which had taken over responsibility for McGruff's message—wanted the ads to have what the industry dubbed “fulfillment.” At the end, McGruff would advise viewers to write to a post office box for a booklet on how to prevent crime in their neck of the woods.

A lot of people did just that. More than 30,000 booklets went out during the first few months the ads aired. McGruff’s laconic presence was beginning to take off.

By 1988, an estimated 99 percent of children ages six to 12 recognized McGruff, putting him in Ronald McDonald territory. He appeared on the ABC series Webster, in parades, and in thousands of personal appearances around the country, typically with a local police officer under the suit. (The appearances were not without danger: Some dogs apparently didn't like McGruff and could get aggressive at the sight of him.)

As McGruff aged into the 1990s, his appearances grew more sporadic. The NCPC began targeting guns and drugs and wasn’t sure the cartoon dog was a good fit, so his appearances were limited to the end of some ad spots. By the 2000s, law enforcement cutbacks meant fewer cops in costume, and a reduced awareness of the crime-fighting canine. When Keil retired, an Iowa cop named Steve Parker took over McGruff's voice duties.

McGruff is still in action today, aiding in the NCPC’s efforts to raise awareness of elder abuse, internet crimes, and identity theft. The organization estimates that more than 4000 McGruffs are in circulation, though at least one of them failed to live up to the mantle. In 2014, a McGruff performer named John Morales pled guilty to possession of more than 1000 marijuana plants and a grenade launcher. He’s serving 16 years in prison.

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Watch a Panda Caretaker Cuddle With Baby Pandas While Dressed Up Like a Panda
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Some people wear suits to work—but at one Chinese nature reserve, a handful of lucky employees get to wear panda suits.

As Travel + Leisure reports, the People's Daily released a video in July of animal caretakers cuddling with baby pandas at the Wolong National Nature Reserve in China's Sichuan Province. The keepers dress in fuzzy black-and-white costumes—a sartorial choice that's equal parts adorable and imperative to the pandas' future success in the wild.

Researchers raise the pandas in captivity with the goal of eventually releasing them into their natural habitat. But according to The Atlantic, human attachment can hamper the pandas' survival chances, plus it can be stressful for the bears to interact with people. To keep the animals calm while acclimating them to forest life, the caretakers disguise their humanness with costumes, and even mask their smell by smearing the suits with panda urine and feces. Meanwhile, other keepers sometimes conceal themselves by dressing up as trees.

Below, you can watch the camouflaged panda caretakers as they cuddle baby pandas:

[h/t Travel + Leisure]


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