Every Product Billy Mays Ever Pitched

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Billy Mays, America's favorite infomercial star, died three years ago today. He began his career selling the WashMatik, a car-washing brush that siphoned water through the bristles without electricity. He moved from that to the Ultimate Chopper, and some of his other products not featured here include The Ding King (dent and ding repair kit), Turbo Tiger (a hand-held minivac), Grip Wrench (an adjustable strap wrench), Green Now (fertilizer), and something called the EZ Crunch Bowl, which promised to be "A new way to eat breakfast cereal." Here are the rest of the products he pitched over the next 12 years, in no particular order:

Orange Glo

http://youtu.be/A2HTgXjH3SA

This was Billy's break-out pitch. He sold 6,000 units in 11 minutes (at $18 each) on the Home Shopping Network. He became HSN's go-to sales guy immediately afterward.

Awesome Auger

http://youtu.be/bLDXfYDAziI

Big City Slider Station

http://youtu.be/9KBXcpJfmj4

The best line of his entire canon, surely: "No more squishin' and squashin', flippin' and floppin'!"

DualSaw

http://youtu.be/65uKsgGS44M

"Big strong nothing," he says. Poor Matt.

ESPN360

http://youtu.be/8vUxHZ5EoPg

For when you want to watch sports, "but can't find a TV." Even his family likes it, so I guess video streaming is pretty great.

Flies Away

http://youtu.be/ZGGE-FiLUNQ

Lotta rhyming-ay in this one-ay.

Gopher

http://youtu.be/Cx3ZpRL0x7g

It reaches so you don't have to.

Grater Plater

http://youtu.be/WAp92zukjd8

You can grate asiago in it, ok. It's no ordinary plate.

Handy Switch

http://youtu.be/OKt9JvYNBxg

Hercules Hook

http://youtu.be/oVBCXeekpbA

Now that's super-strong.

iCan Health Insurance

http://youtu.be/c7d85T4OfqA

Not limited to household tools and gadgets, Mays took on the job of selling access to affordable health insurance for everyone.

Impact Gel

http://youtu.be/YoV2Bp_c7aI

Why am I smashing my hand with this hammer?!

The iTie

http://youtu.be/nGcn3N7DCMs

It's the only necktie that features a concealed pocket.

Jupiter Jack

http://youtu.be/p7yuoXU_QJs

The most convenient hands-free device for any cellphone, GUARANTEED.

Kaboom!

http://youtu.be/2NHHhIv3G1k

Ring around the toilet? You need Kaboom!

Mighty Mendit

Warning: The quality of this video will offend you. If you can find a better one, leave a link in the comments

http://youtu.be/LyTEKhkB8OM

Mighty Putty, Mighty Putty Steel, and Mighty Putty Wood

http://youtu.be/kyA1Viugxjw

All three in one Suoer Pack, in case you need to fix that drawer pull, tow a boat and lift a school bus.

OxiClean

http://youtu.be/ZTpXh33Mbeg

Powered by the air you breathe, activated by the water you and I drink. Classic.

Quick Chop

http://youtu.be/JpqiyFPdHZ4

Vince and his silly Slap Chop can't compete.

Samurai Shark

http://youtu.be/xPh-qgW8L4w

Tungsten carbide sharpening blades, people.

Simoniz Fix-It

http://youtu.be/F5M4EKnrQHY

Repairs scratches, dings and knicks ON CONTACT. Apply, and let dry. That's it!

Tool Band-it

http://youtu.be/TyYTYqIB3-Q

When two hands just aren't enough, reach for the Tool Band-It. A job that takes two, can now be done by one! THAT'S AMAZING.

Vidalia Slice Wizard

http://youtu.be/SG39UAd95bQ

7 different kitchen tools right in one machine. Even the food-processor inept can operate it. Try doing all that with a knife!

What-Odor?® Odor Eliminator

http://youtu.be/m40Oa2VzIVs

Sour milk. Moldy, rotten cheese. Cat urine!

Zorbeez

http://youtu.be/l25oCWDHnQI

The most absorbent material he'd ever used. Over 27 times more absorbent than cotton! You can even use them to dry your dog, guys.

Mighty Tape

http://youtu.be/st0SUrAG-D4

Mays' last commercial spot. By this time, he'd been selling everything from adjustable wrenches to deodorizer to... well, Mighty Tape.

What's your favorite Mays-approved product? I like Kaboom!, but I do remember that I broke my grandma's Gopher trying to lift a birdbath. (It seemed like a good idea at the time.)

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June 28, 2012 - 3:11am
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