Our New Afternoon Links Column That We Need You Guys to Name

This is the first edition of our new afternoon links round-up. The problem is, we need a name. Something to make it stand out from the 27,000 afternoon links round-ups that came before it. Leave a comment with your best suggestion. If yours is chosen you'll be swooped up in a whirlwind of overnight fame, where your every waking moment will be consumed with fanciful pleasure the likes of which you've never imagined. Plus you’ll win a shirt.

I’ve Got Good News and Bad News…

The good news is that, despite the absurd number of reality shows indicating otherwise, Americans may actually be getting smarter. The bad news is that while they get smarter they might get uglier. Or will they?

But You Know What They Say About Beauty. It’s All In the Eye of The Beholder. Or People Magazine. Or A Scientist With A Tape Measure.

Beyonce may have just been named World’s Most Beautiful Woman by People, but, according to science, the world’s most beautiful face belongs to an 18-year old British woman named Florence Colgate. How do you determine that? You just rely on a simple, totally-not-at-all-dehumanizing set of criteria:

"The ratio of the distance between her ears to the distance between her pupils is nearly 2:1 — the scientific ideal. Furthermore, the distance between her eyes to her mouth is just under a third of the distance from her hairline to her chin — another measure of perfect pulchritude."

One Reason to Be Excited Today: Old VHS Tapes Sometimes Turn Up Mind-Blowing 80s Relics Like This

Splitsider was good enough to share this with us recently – as well as Alan Thicke’s memories of making this 80s masterpiece. If you want to watch the entire thing, check out the rest on mittdawson’s YouTube page.

“A Picture Is Worth a Bunch of Words That Describe Exactly What the Picture Is Supposed to Be of, But There’s No Actual Picture”.

Instead of this camera taking a picture (because that would just be dumb), it instead just gives you a printout where it explains in text what the picture would look like. Because who wants a picture of your kids experiencing a quintessential childhood moment when you could instead just have a piece of paper that says:

“A small child sitting on the lap of an obese man with a large white beard.”

Happy Birthday, Wes Anderson

-I like your nurse's uniform, guy.
-These are O.R. scrubs.
-O R they?

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Ernest Hemingway’s Guide to Life, In 20 Quotes
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Central Press/Getty Images

Though he made his living as a writer, Ernest Hemingway was just as famous for his lust for adventure. Whether he was running with the bulls in Pamplona, fishing for marlin in Bimini, throwing back rum cocktails in Havana, or hanging out with his six-toed cats in Key West, the Nobel and Pulitzer Prize-winning author never did anything halfway. And he used his adventures as fodder for the unparalleled collection of novels, short stories, and nonfiction books he left behind, The Sun Also Rises, A Farewell to Arms, Death in the Afternoon, For Whom the Bell Tolls, and The Old Man and the Sea among them.

On what would be his 119th birthday—he was born in Oak Park, Illinois on July 21, 1899—here are 20 memorable quotes that offer a keen perspective into Hemingway’s way of life.

ON THE IMPORTANCE OF LISTENING

"I like to listen. I have learned a great deal from listening carefully. Most people never listen."

ON TRUST

"The best way to find out if you can trust somebody is to trust them."

ON DECIDING WHAT TO WRITE ABOUT

"I never had to choose a subject—my subject rather chose me."

ON TRAVEL

"Never go on trips with anyone you do not love."


Ernest Hemingway Photograph Collection, John F. Kennedy Presidential Library and Museum, Boston. [1], Public Domain, Wikimedia Commons

ON THE RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN INTELLIGENCE AND HAPPINESS

"Happiness in intelligent people is the rarest thing I know."

ON TRUTH

"There's no one thing that is true. They're all true."

ON THE DOWNSIDE OF PEOPLE

"The only thing that could spoil a day was people. People were always the limiters of happiness, except for the very few that were as good as spring itself."

ON SUFFERING FOR YOUR ART

"There is nothing to writing. All you do is sit down at a typewriter and bleed."

ON TAKING ACTION

"Never mistake motion for action."

ON GETTING WORDS OUT

"I wake up in the morning and my mind starts making sentences, and I have to get rid of them fast—talk them or write them down."


Photograph by Mary Hemingway, in the Ernest Hemingway Photograph Collection, John F. Kennedy Presidential Library and Museum, Boston., Public Domain, Wikimedia Commons

ON THE BENEFITS OF SLEEP

"I love sleep. My life has the tendency to fall apart when I'm awake, you know?"

ON FINDING STRENGTH 

"The world breaks everyone, and afterward, some are strong at the broken places."

ON THE TRUE NATURE OF WICKEDNESS

"All things truly wicked start from innocence."

ON WRITING WHAT YOU KNOW

"If a writer knows enough about what he is writing about, he may omit things that he knows. The dignity of movement of an iceberg is due to only one ninth of it being above water."

ON THE DEFINITION OF COURAGE

"Courage is grace under pressure."

ON THE PAINFULNESS OF BEING FUNNY

"A man's got to take a lot of punishment to write a really funny book."


By Ernest Hemingway Photograph Collection, John F. Kennedy Presidential Library and Museum, Boston. - JFK Library, Public Domain, Wikimedia Commons

ON KEEPING PROMISES

"Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut."

ON GOOD VS. EVIL

"About morals, I know only that what is moral is what you feel good after and what is immoral is what you feel bad after."

ON REACHING FOR THE UNATTAINABLE

"For a true writer, each book should be a new beginning where he tries again for something that is beyond attainment. He should always try for something that has never been done or that others have tried and failed. Then sometimes, with great luck, he will succeed."

ON HAPPY ENDINGS

"There is no lonelier man in death, except the suicide, than that man who has lived many years with a good wife and then outlived her. If two people love each other there can be no happy end to it."

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4 Movies, 1 Thing In Common II
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