12 Attempts to Bribe Celebrities for Worthy Causes

Want to contribute to a worthy cause and get your favorite celebrity to do something awesome and/or ridiculous? That’s the idea behind Charity Bribes.

Anyone can post something awesome or bizarre for a specific celebrity to do. These ideas go on a master list, where the good people of the Internet vote for their favorites. Currently on the leader board: “Morgan Freeman to spend an afternoon narrating user-submitted animal videos.”

The activity with the most votes when the current bribe expires (every 30 days) is the next one to be featured. People then pledge money to get the celeb to do the aforementioned awesome thing. If the celeb doesn’t take the bribe, no one has to give the money they pledged. If the celebrity follows through, the predetermined charity gets the cash that was raised.

Larry David fans recently pledged more than $10,000 in an attempt to get LD on Twitter. Larry hasn't reacted to the bribe yet, but he has 30 days from the end of the bribe to make good on the deal. I have a good feeling about the current bribe, which happens to be #1 on our list:

1. Get Conan O’Brien to interview a guest on his show wearing an eye patch and black turtleneck while holding a pipe. If asked why, he should say, “I don’t want to talk about it.” All proceeds from this bribe go to Autism Speaks.

2. Get Christopher Walken to read dramatically from an upper-level biochemistry textbook. Perhaps adding in relevant anecdotes about his life. Proceeds go to The Sierra Club.

3. Get Celine Dion to sing “I Want Your Sex” by George Michael. Proceeds go to Cystic Fibrosis Quebec.

4. Get Rachael Ray to do a show with Epic Meal Time and each has to make the other's dish according to their recipe and instructions. Proceeds go to the American Heart Association.

5. Get Donald Trump to post a picture of how his hair looks when he wakes up. Proceeds go to St. Jude’s Children’s Hospital.

6. Get the Cast of the Wonder Years to reenact a famous scene. Proceeds go to United Way of NY.

7. Get Bill Clinton to do the Icky Shuffle and the Hokey Pokey on video. Proceeds go to the Clinton Global Initiative. (I feel like this probably happens at wedding receptions all of the time.)

8. Get Daniel Day Lewis to post a YouTube video of him reenacting the milkshake scene from There Will Be Blood with an eight year old drinking an actual milkshake. Proceeds go to AIDS. (I’m assuming that means the AIDS Foundation, but the user doesn't actually say).

9. Get Jack Black and Jack White to sing the hit song "Ebony and Ivory". Proceeds go to Little Kids Rock.

10. Get Katy Perry to switch places with Zooey Deschanel for a WHOLE episode of New Girl where no one acknowledges the switch. Proceeds go to Trevor Project.

11. Get Jeff Bridges to anchor ABC World News. Proceeds go to No Kid Hungry.

12. Get Christopher Lloyd to take a video of himself reenacting a scene from Back to the Future where he says "Great Scott!" Proceeds go to the Michael J. Fox Foundation for Parkinson's Research.

Let us know if you post a bribe. Anyone want to see Mangesh and Will arm wrestle? Want Ransom to give your town the Strange Geographies treatment?

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Kars4Kids, YouTube
The Cruel (But Effective) Agony of the Kars4Kids Jingle
Kars4Kids, YouTube
Kars4Kids, YouTube

It can happen suddenly and without warning. Driving in your vehicle, a commercial break comes on. In addition to the standard pleas to use a specific laundry detergent or contemplate debt consolidation, the voice of a preadolescent, out-of-tune child materializes. Your grip on the steering wheel gets tighter. The child begins to warble:

1-877-Kars-4-Kids, K-A-R-S Kars for Kids, 1-EIGHT-SEVEN-SEVEN-Kars-4-Kids, Donate Your Car Today …

An adult breaks in to repeat the lyrics. The two begin to sing in unison:

1-877-Kars-4-Kids, K-A-R-S Kaaaaars for Kiiiids…Donate Your Car Today!

In roughly a minute, it’s over. You go on with your day. But the song’s repetitive melody sticks to your brain like sap. You hear it when preparing dinner. While brushing your teeth. As you put your head on the pillow. When it's finally worked its way out of your brain and you've started to forget, it reappears.

The song is engineered to be obnoxious. And its producers wouldn't have it any other way.

 
 

Since 1999, an untold number of Americans have found themselves reduced to mewling heaps of distress following exposure to the Kars4Kids jingle. The 501(c) nonprofit organization based in Lakewood, New Jersey, spends up to $17 million annually making sure this earwig of a commercial is played across the country. While the purpose is not expressly to annoy you, the fact that the song is irritating is what makes it memorable. And successful. And more than a little controversial.

Kars4Kids began in 1995 as a way to capitalize on the trend of automotive owners donating their unwanted cars in exchange for a tax deduction. Owners who donate their vehicles are able to get an IRS write-off—though typically for only a percentage of the current value—if they declare it a charitable donation. Kars4Kids arranges for the vehicle to be towed away and sold at auction, with proceeds going to afterschool and summer programs for students.

According to the organization, business was slow until one of their volunteers had an idea to craft a commercial song. The melody was purchased from a singer and songwriter named Country Yossi, and Kars4Kids enlisted a child to perform it at an in-house recording session. It debuted in the New York market in 1999, and spread like the plague to the West Coast by 2005 and nationally by 2007.

Aside from Yossi, however, the company has repeatedly declined to identify anyone else involved with creating the song. The reason? Death threats. The tune has apparently enraged people to the point of contemplating murder. Speaking to SanFranciscoGate.com in 2016, music cognition expert Elizabeth Hellmuth Margulis said that the combination of repetitive structure and the overly simplistic message was engineered to grate the listener's nerves.

“This simple melodic line is also probably responsible for some of the annoyance,” she said. “These kinds of three and four note lines are often the ones specially crafted for kids learning how to play instruments ... It probably conjures up associations of painful practice sessions.”

 
 

The line between irritating and memorable is often blurry. Kars4Kids has repeatedly pointed to the song as being effective in driving telephone traffic to their number. When they debuted a television commercial in 2014—complete with lip-syncing kids who subsequently got bullied for their participation in the spot—donations went up by 50 percent. To date, the company has received 450,000 cars. In 2017, contributions totaled $39 million.

Surprisingly, people have reserved animosity for something other than the commercial. In 2017, Minnesota's attorney general chastised Kars4Kids for not making it clear to donors that many of the children who benefit from the fundraising are located in the northeast: Kids in Minnesota received just $12,000 of the $3 million raised in that state. Other times, the organization has been criticized for leaving information out of their solicitations. In 2009, both Pennsylvania and Oregon fined the charity for failing to disclose a religious affiliation. (Most of the funds raised go toward Orthodox Jewish groups.) Oregon’s Department of Justice said that Kars4Kids needed to disclose such information in its ads.

Those speed bumps aside, the jingle shows no signs of leaving the airwaves any time soon. Rather than run from the negative response, Kars4Kids marinates in it, sharing hateful diatribes from others on social media.

“Newer people join the [media] team and when they are first exposed to the level of hatred on Twitter they'll be like, 'Are you sure you think this is a good idea that we should keep on playing this?,'" Wendy Kirwan, Kars4Kids’s director of public relations, told Billboard in 2016. “And we've looked at that time and again, and we've come to the conclusion that it's definitely worth sticking with.”

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iStock
15 Organizations Helping Women Around the World
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iStock

Organizations supporting women and promoting equality and fairness in wages, in behavior, and with opportunities have spent years putting women's rights at the forefront of their missions. In honor of International Women's Day, held annually on March 8, we've compiled a list of organizations that are fueling this societal change for the better. Check out the institutions that are helping fight for what's fair, no matter where women are in the world.

1. WOMEN'S GLOBAL EMPOWERMENT FUND

A woman walks with her child
iStock

Since 2007, this advocacy group has been empowering under-privileged women in Uganda by offering business training and access to microloans to help facilitate their professional independence. The group's contributions have emboldened Ugandans, with five women affiliated with WGEF's programs running for—and winning—political office in 2016.

2. CENTER FOR REPRODUCTIVE RIGHTS

A Center for Reproductive Rights illustration
Center for Reproductive Rights

Supporting a woman's right to make decisions about her own body is the focus of this legal consortium, which has had impact on local and international laws. They've had influence over reproductive health policies in Asia, Africa, and the U.S., and helped shed light on an oppressive abortion ban in El Salvador that's led to women being jailed for stillbirths. Their efforts on behalf of "Las 17," 17 Salvadoran women accused of having abortions, has seen several women released from prison; the efforts are ongoing.

3. WOMEN FOR WOMEN INTERNATIONAL

The Women for Women International logo
Women for Women International

This nonprofit seeks to support women displaced or marginalized by conflict and oppression in eight foreign territories including Iraq and Rwanda. Many of their efforts are education-based, facilitating classes and finding opportunities for graduates. Currently, the group is offering psychosocial and educational resources to Syrian women in the Kurdistan region of Iraq, with a goal of reaching over 3000 women in the next three years.

4. SCHOOL GIRLS UNITE

A classroom facilitated by School Girls Unite
School Girls Unite

This nonprofit tackles education discrimination among young women in developing countries. In Mali, Africa, for example, only one in four girls make it to 7th grade. School Girls Unite subsidizes their education, often at a cost as little as $75 per child, and follows the recipients to encourage them to complete their education.

5. TIME'S UP LEGAL DEFENSE FUND

The Time's Up logo
Time's Up

The personal and professional consequences of reporting sexual harassment in the workplace have often made it difficult for women to speak out. Fearing they'll be ostracized, they remain quiet. On top of that, legal action can be costly. Backed by the National Women's Law Center, the Time's Up Legal Defense Fund seeks to provide legal assistance for women looking to battle harassment in court. Just two months into their existence, organizers have fielded 1700 requests from all across the world, including the U.S., Kenya, and Kuwait.

6. EVERY MOTHER COUNTS

A mother holds her child's hand
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Model Christy Turlington Burns founded this activist group that seeks to improve medical care for mothers around the world by training professionals, improving transportation to care facilities, and donating crucial supplies to clinics. The organization has arranged grants that have improved mother mortality rates in Tanzania, Haiti, and India.

7. EQUALITY NOW

A book is open to the definition of equality
iStock

Putting an end to unjust and gender-biased laws is the focus of Equality Now, which has helped change over 50 laws and pursued equal rights since its inception in 1992. Thanks to their activism, women in Kuwait have voting rights; in the U.S., the group's protests and engagement also helped pass the first law prohibiting sex tourism.

8. ORCHID PROJECT

A woman works in a field
iStock

Persistent cultural traditions endorse the practice of female genital cutting (FGC), which involves the removal of external female genitalia. Risky, unnecessary, and invasive, the tradition is being challenged by Orchid Project, which aims to end the practice by circulating educational information in areas like Ethiopia.

9. ANITA B. ORG

A person types on a laptop
iStock

Since 1987, this social enterprise has pursued the mission statement of founder Anita Borg by putting women in a position to excel in the technology field. The group provides resources for education in coding and diversity both in the U.S. and abroad. In India, they organize career fairs for women only, offering companies the chance to improve their gender diversity in the workforce.

10. FRIENDSHIP BRIDGE

A woman sits with her child
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Offering financial resources to poverty-stricken areas of Guatemala, Friendship Bridge offers opportunities for education and entrepreneurial training that would otherwise be unavailable.  By offering microcredit loans, women collaborate with other members of a "trust" and take part in educational sessions as part of the terms of the loan. By combining capital with resources, Friendship Bridge is able to facilitate better working conditions for the population.

11. PATHFINDER INTERNATIONAL

The Pathfinder International logo
Pathfinder International

Pathfinder seeks to eliminate barriers to health or reproductive services in over 19 countries, working to end unsafe abortions and HIV transmission. The group also offers family planning counseling and aims to expand the availability of contraceptives.

12. DRESS FOR SUCCESS

Articles of clothing are arranged on a rack
iStock

Wearing the appropriate attire for a job interview is crucial for prospective employees. For over 20 years, the caregivers at Dress for Success have been helping women realize their professional goals by providing apparel they might not otherwise be able to afford. The nonprofit accepts clothing donations and then distributes them to countries and areas that may not have wardrobe resources on hand.

13. GLOBAL FUND FOR WOMEN

A Global Fund for Women infographic
Global Fund for Women

Movements big and small have been influenced by this nonprofit that seeks to finance efforts toward equality. The group has helped over 5000 directives in 175 countries since 1987, including efforts to improve women's working conditions and halt human trafficking.

14. SHARE & CARE FOUNDATION

A woman sits in a field
iStock

Helping women thrive in rural India in the focus of this nonprofit, which prioritizes education, health care, and gender equality. Their goals have emphasized self-defense training for women as well as financial management skills. 

15. MADRE

The MADRE logo
MADRE

Following wars or natural disasters, MADRE teams with local community leaders to create solutions. When resources are scarce, the organization brings in the tools necessary for women to help rebuild. In Kenya, that can mean clean water; in Colombia, it could mean art therapy for survivors of war or abuse.   

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