11 Things That Have No Business Being Lip Balms

Sure, everyone’s tried cherry or mint lip balms, but why settle for bland when you can go for bizarre? Here are 11 of the weirdest lip gloss flavors ever. Some of them might seem tasty, but still, the idea is just plain weird.

1. Peeps

If you just can’t get enough Peeps, you can always go ahead and enjoy vanilla marshmallow Peeps lip gloss all year round.

2. Corndogs

Corn dogs are delicious, but without the delightful accentuation of ketchup and mustard, would you really want to bother with this battery balm?

3. Paula Deen

If you think that everything tastes better with butter, you’ll probably enjoy the flavor on your lips as well. Well, Paula Deen, the world’s most famous butter aficionado, is here for you with her own butter-flavored lip balm.

4. Cheetos

If you’ve always yearned for a way to enjoy the cheesy deliciousness of Cheetos without ending up with all of that bright orange residue all over your fingers, maybe this balm is just what you’ve been dreaming of all these years.

5. Bacon That's Safe for Vegetarians

Everyone loves bacon, right? So why not rub the sweet taste of America’s favorite smoked pork product over your mouth? And because this is made by the same guys responsible for Bacon Salt and Baconnaise, it’s both vegetarian and kosher.

6. Buttered Popcorn

It might be against the rules to smuggle your own food into the movie theater, but no one can stop you from carrying in your own Pop Secret Buttered Popcorn Lip Balm. No word on how this compares to Ms. Deen’s buttery lip gloss.

7. French Fries

If you love french fries but want to bypass all those empty calories, this lip gloss might be the next best thing.

8. Nachos

Or maybe it's nacho residue that your lips have been missing.

9. Cheez-It

Has anyone ever actually thought to themselves, “I wish I could just rub Cheez-It’s all over my lips every day?” Well, even if they have, they might be disappointed with the actual flavor of this one, which is described as being sweet like cereal with a touch of butter and a very subtle cheesy flavor in the background.

10. Absinthe

Any real absinthe drinker knows the flavor of the liquor is only secondary to the effects. That’s why this absinthe lip balm seems a bit silly.

11. Dill Pickles

Sometimes you just want to grab a handful of dill pickles and rub them all over your lips.

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There are plenty more weird lip gloss flavors out there, some that sound tasty, like the Girl Scout ones, and many that sound gross, like those above. What was the weirdest you’ve ever come across? Did you actually try it?

Matthew Simmons/Getty Images
How Accurate are Hollywood Medical Dramas? A Doctor Breaks It Down
Matthew Simmons/Getty Images
Matthew Simmons/Getty Images

Medical dramas like Grey's Anatomy get a lot of things wrong when it comes to the procedures shown on the screen, but unless you're a doctor, you'd probably never notice.

For its latest installment, WIRED's Technique Critique video series—which previously blessed us with a dialect coach's critique of actors' onscreen accents—tackled the accuracy of medical scenes in movies and TV, bringing in Annie Onishi, a general surgery resident at Columbia University, to comment on emergency room and operating scenes from Pulp Fiction, House, Scrubs, and more.

While Onishi breaks down just how inaccurate these shows and movies can be, she makes it clear that Hollywood doesn't always get it wrong. Some shows, including Showtime's historical drama The Knick, garner praise from Onishi for being true-to-life with their medical jargon and operations. And when doctors discuss what music to play during surgery on Scrubs? That's "a tale as old as time in the O.R.," according to Onishi.

Other tropes are very obviously ridiculous, like slapping a patient during CPR and telling them to fight, which we see in a scene from The Abyss. "Rule number one of CPR is: never stop effective chest compressions in order to slap or yell words of encouragement at the patient," Onishi says. "Yelling at a patient or cheering them on has never brought them back to life." And obviously, taking selfies in the operating room in the middle of a grisly operation like the doctors on Grey's Anatomy do would get you fired in real life.

There are plenty of cliché words and phrases we hear over and over on doctor shows, and some are more accurate than others. Asking about a patient's vitals is authentic, according to Onishi, who says it's something doctors are always concerned with. However, yelling "We're losing him!" is simply for added TV drama. "I have never once heard that in my real life," Onishi says.

[h/t WIRED]

#RateaSpecies? Zoos Share Amazon-Style Reviews of Animals on Twitter

The online rating system popularized by sites like Amazon and Yelp has finally reached the animal kingdom. As Earther reports, zoos, aquariums, and science museums are taking to Twitter to review fuzzy, scaly, and feathery specimens with the hashtag #rateaspecies.

The official Twitter account of the Oregon Zoo kicked off the trend on March 9 by tweeting out a picture of a river otter with a four-star review. "Overall very good first impressions," the tweet reads. "Sturdy built, totally winter-ready and waterproof. Only comes in brown but that’s actually a plus for me." Shervin Hess, who runs digital media at the zoo, told Earther he got the idea from an Amazon review he read that described hiking boots in a similar way.

He followed the tweet with reviews of other animals, each one receiving a four-star rating (Hess says he wouldn't consider giving an animal anything less). Soon other institutions on Twitter started jumping on the hashtag.

"High-quality squeak system, thrives in rocky situations," the Yosemite Conservancy wrote of the pika. It earned four stars despite being "maybe TOO cute" and a "potential pun hazard."

Check out more of the top-rated species below.

[h/t Earther]


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