The Weird Week in Review

New Species is Really Faux Hawk

A farmer in New Zealand is in trouble for painting hawks. Grant Michael Teahan was found guilty of animal cruelty after a YouTube video showed him capturing a bird in a paint-laden trap. Teahan had apparently been coloring hawks pinkish-red since at least 2009 as a prank. The prank worked, as bird watchers thought they had discovered a new species. Their excitement was crushed when one of the birds was later found dead, hit by a car, and an examination found that it was a common hawk that had been painted. Teahan faces a stiff fine and possible incarceration.

Attachment About Attachments

The Islington Council made a sign warning people not to attach anything to park furniture or trees -and then attached it to a tree at Highbury Fields in north London, England. A neighboring architect, who was annoyed at the many signs posted recently, went to remove the sign and was surprised to see who had posted it on the tree. Soon, others gathered around to laugh at the nonsensical notice. The council soon relocated the notice to a nearby message board. They blamed the mistake on a junior member with good intentions.

Burglars Leave Photographic Evidence

A Frenchman and an Irishman went into a bar in New Zealand, but they weren't supposed to. And they might have gotten away with the crime if they hadn't left their camera with shots of their escapade in it. David Farrell and Nicholas Moinet, traveling vineyard workers, broke into a boat docked on the Opawa River in Blenheim along with some other men and helped themselves to alcohol on December 9th. They took photographs of each other on the boat before they left. However, they neglected to take the camera with them, and investigators found it simple to locate the perpetrators from the images. The two men were ordered to pay a $300 fine to the court and to pay $240 in reparations to the boat's owner.

Drunk Driver Now Suing Victim's Family

David Belniak pleaded guilty and was sentenced to twelve years on three counts of DUI manslaughter after a Christmas Day 2007 traffic accident in Hudson, Florida. Now he's suing the family of the victims, saying the wreck was the fault of the deceased driver. Belniak is asking for $15,000 in damages, despite the fact that he was found to have alcohol, Xanax, and cocaine in his system when the crash occurred. Belniak was charged for driving under the influence in two previous incidences, including one in which a woman died.

Pecan Farmers on Alert for Nut Rustlers

Harvest time in New Mexico means that pecans are tempting for thieves. Farmers are posting guards, and at least one farmer has armed guards on alert around the clock. Sheriff's departments across the region are stepping up patrols near orchards. Pecans are selling for almost $3 a pound in shells, and up to $10 a pound shelled, and some farms have been victims of theft during harvest time in the past, even when pecan prices were lower.

Victim Concerned About Thief's Fitness

Peter Stevens of Cambridge, England, was in his car Friday when a thief opened up the back door and grabbed his laptop.

The 34-year-old runner and IT expert chased him and was surprised when he caught up with the thief after just 225 metres.

Realising the game was up, the puffed-out criminal dropped the laptop, allowing Mr Stevens to pick it up.

Mr Stevens said: “I was appalled by how unfit this guy was. I thought it would take a lot longer to catch up with him. If you are going to go into the snatch-and-run business at least try and get fit or at least play to your strengths and go for something less energetic.”

The thief, who Stevens believes is much younger than himself, has not been caught, but Stevens put his money where his mouth is. He made a donation to a local park to encourage fitness in young people.

Titanic Theme Played as Ship Sank

As the Costa Concordia cruise ship's hull was being ripped open on rocks off the coast of Italy, the Celine Dion song "My Heart Will Go On" was playing in one of the ship's restaurants. Yannick Sgaga, a tourist from Switzerland, told a Geneva newspaper that he and his brother heard the song as the evacuation began. The song became a hit in 1997 as the theme from the movie Titanic. In other strange shipwreck news, some TV reports called the Costa Concordia incident a "real-life Titanic," which gives the impression that they don't understand the Titanic was a real ship that sank nearly 100 years ago.

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Pierluigi Luceri, Flickr // CC BY-NC-ND 2.0
Two Human Toes Were Stolen From an Anatomy Exhibit
Pierluigi Luceri, Flickr // CC BY-NC-ND 2.0
Pierluigi Luceri, Flickr // CC BY-NC-ND 2.0

A 28-year-old New Zealand man walked into an anatomy exhibition with 10 toes and walked out with 12. We don't know why or how he did it, but the man stole two human toes from a Body Worlds display in Auckland last month, The New Zealand Herald reports.

The unnamed man appeared in court Monday and pleaded guilty to improperly interfering with the corpse "of an unknown person" and purloining two toes, which alone are valued at about $3800. The motivation for the human remains heist wasn't stated. (Fulfilling a dare seems a likely explanation, or maybe he's just a fan of The Big Lebowski.)

Whatever the reason may be, the story has a happy ending, at least: The digits have since been returned to their rightful place in the "Vital" exhibit, which explores the human body in motion. "Vital," which will remain open in Auckland until July 13, is one of several traveling exhibitions curated by Body Worlds. Two other Body Worlds exhibits are currently on view in the U.S., including "RX" (showcasing the effects of disease) in Toledo, Ohio, and "Animal Inside Out" (an "anatomical safari") in Richmond, Virginia.

The bodies, all of which are donated for exhibition purposes, are preserved via plastination, a process that "replaces bodily fluids and soluble fat in specimens with fluid plastics that harden after vacuum-forced impregnation," according to the Body Worlds website. More than 16,000 people around the world have signed up to donate their bodies after their deaths.

[h/t The New Zealand Herald]

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Dominique Faget, AFP/Getty Images
David Lynch's Amazon T-Shirt Shop is as Surreal as His Movies
Dominique Faget, AFP/Getty Images
Dominique Faget, AFP/Getty Images

David Lynch, the celebrated director behind baffling-but-brilliant films like Eraserhead, Blue Velvet, Mulholland Drive, and Twin Peaks, is now selling his equally surreal T-shirts on Amazon.

As IndieWire reports, each shirt bears an image of one of Lynch’s paintings or photographs with an accompanying title. Some of his designs are more straightforward (the shirts labeled “House” and “Whale” feature, respectively, drawings of a house and a whale), while others are obscure (the shirt called “Chicken Head Tears” features a disturbing sculpture of a semi-human face).

This isn’t the first time Lynch has ventured into pursuits outside of filmmaking. Previously, he has sold coffee, designed furniture, produced music, hosted daily weather reports, and published a book about his experience with transcendental meditation. Art, in fact, falls a little closer to Lynch’s roots; the filmmaker trained for years at the Pennsylvania Academy of the Fine Arts before making his mark in Hollywood.

Lynch’s Amazon store currently sells 57 T-shirts, ranging in size from small to triple XL, all for $26 each. As for our own feelings on the collection, we think they’re best reflected by this T-shirt named “Honestly, I’m Sort of Confused.”

Check out some of our favorites below:

T-shirt that says "Honestly, I'm Sort of Confused"
"Honestly, I'm Sort of Confused"

Buy it on Amazon

T-shirt with a drawing of a sleeping bird on it
"Sleeping Bird"

Buy it on Amazon

T-shirt that says Peace on Earth over and over again. The caption is pretty on the nose.
"Peace on Earth"

Buy it on Amazon

T-shirt with an image of a screaming face made out of turkey with ants in its mouth
"Turkey Cheese Head"

Buy it on Amazon

T-shirt with an odd sculpted clay face asking if you know who it is. You get the idea.
"I Was Wondering If You Know Who I Am?"

Buy it on Amazon

T-shirt with an image of a sculpted head that is not a chicken. It is blue, though.
"Chicken Head Blue"

Buy it on Amazon

T-shirt with a drawing of a lobster on it. Below the drawing, the lobster is labeled with the word lobster. Shocking, I know.
"Lobster"

Buy it on Amazon

T-shirt with an abstract drawing of what is by David Lynch's account, at least, a cowboy
"Cowboy"

Buy it on Amazon

[h/t IndieWire]

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