11 Lesser-Known 2012 Presidential Candidates

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If you haven't fallen in love with any of this year's candidates, don't worry. Obama, Romney, Paul and company aren't your only options. There are hundreds of people running for president. We've rounded up eleven of them.

1. Vermin Supreme wears a boot on his head, carries a giant toothbrush, and last month glitterbombed Randall Terry at the Lesser Known Candidate Debate. His Democratic campaign promises ponies for everyone, strict toothbrushing laws, and funding for time travel research. On a more serious note, Supreme donated a kidney to his mother four years ago and is a strong advocate for organ donation.

2. Jimmy McMillan: If you ever want to get elected to office, there's worse publicity than being a meme. McMillan, representing the Rent Is Too Damn High party, is a karate expert and Vietnam vet with wicked awesome facial hair who made a splash at the 2010 New York Gubernatorial debate after repeatedly dropping his catchphrase:

Predictably, his platform is primarily about making sure rent is no longer too damn high.

3. Kathyern Lane is a 45-year-old mother from Indiana who says her "childhood resembles the 'Lifetime' movies people see on television."

She cites her work as a "babysitter, waitress, security guard, real estate agent, aircraft electrician, avionic lead, and as a volunteer for Habitat for Humanity, the Red Cross, and as a community organizer" as evidence of her strong managerial skills and "skill set to get America back on track and make her strong again."

4. Roseanne Barr filed her application for candidacy with the FEC back in May 2011. Since declaring her intent to run for president (representing the Green Tea Party) on the Tonight Show with Jay Leno, Barr has been blogging up a storm and running a campaign Facebook page.

5. Robert Burck, a.k.a. The Naked Cowboy, is running as an independent. Here's a video of him singing in Times Square:

And here is his press conference:

6. Zubi Diamond wrote Wizards of Wall Street, a book that, according to the author's website, is "the most important book in the country today that everyone should read." Highlights: "The scam that elected Obama, exposed," and "a solution for a complete and permanent recovery from the crisis." Diamond is officially running as a Republican, though his website states that he is running against all established parties.

7. Brian J. Moran is the only candidate running for the Jedi party this election cycle.

8. Terry Jones: In 2010, President Obama was forced to formally request that Florida Pastor Terry Jones not publicly burn the Quran on the anniversary of 9/11. He did it anyway six months later, sparking riots in Afghanistan. Now Jones is running as an Independent for the highest office in the land. His "Stand Up America Now" campaign is a 7-point order of business that promises to "stop overspending immediately" and "deport all illegals." Jones asks specifically for donations to support his "stand against radical Islam."

9. "Average Joe" Schriner spends his time painting houses, doing light handiwork, and trying to beat his wife at Scrabble when he's not on campaign tour. He has a degree in Journalism from Bowling Green State University and, thanks to his extensive campaigning over four successive bids for the presidency, Schriner says he's learned how to end homelessness, end global warming "for good," balance the national budget, and handle immigration concerns. "Average Joe" is an Independent who advocates homesharing, jobsharing, and not exploring space—a 'Joeism' in reference to NASA funding quotes Schriner as saying, "Maybe the money could be much better spent on, oh I don't know, things like: ENDING WORLD HUNGER!" So there's that.

10. Tiffany Briscoe, formerly a Democrat, is the Boston Tea Party's nominee for the 2012 race. She owns Tiffany of Elegance, a Maryland-based clothing boutique.

11. Craig Tax Freeze Freis: "Tax Freeze" is 67-year-old Craig Freis' legal middle name and, thanks to a court order, he's allowed to list it as such on election ballots. It really just sells itself. According to his campaign site, his "only political victory to date was at the lowest step of the political ladder when he was elected to the Democratic Party Central Committee in his home state of California."

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January 13, 2012 - 4:04am
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