The World's Greatest Infant Criminal

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It's pretty hard for a newborn baby to escape from the hospital, steal a car, and take a joyride that exceeds speeds of 566 miles per hour. But when one driver in Australia in New Zealand received a ticket dated the day he was born, he discovered that must have been the case. His petition to the court reflects his version of events so far as he can figure them. After all, his memory wasn't very good when he was only a few hours old:

Unfortunately, there are a couple of irregularities with the infringement notice that are causing me some consternation and hopefully you can clear them up or, preferably, forget about the whole thing entirely.

Firstly, the 'date of offence' is listed as the 23rd of June 1974 with the time being at or around half past six in the evening. This is of grave concern to me because I was not issued a drivers license until sometime in 1990 and I have no desire to be charged with driving while not legally licensed....

I was born at around five o'clock in the evening on that day in Porirua, which is not far from Wellington...For me to have traveled from Porirua to the foot of the Bombay Hills just out of Auckland by six thirty, I would had to have crawled into the first car in the hospital parking lot and headed for Auckland at around 1,000 km/h. For this reason, it is entirely possible that the constable who clocked me back in 1974 was holding his laser equipment upside down and instead of doing 116 km/h as per the infringement notice, it is more likely that I was doing 911 km/h.

The rest of the letter can be enjoyed over at Letters of Note, along with the traffic court's response to the petition. It seems humor is the best way to get out of a traffic ticket of this magnitude.

[Image courtesy of Global Jet's Flickr stream.]

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November 3, 2011 - 6:24am
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