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The Weird Week in Review

Dairy Princess is Lactose-intolerant

Laurel Gordon holds the title of Grays Harbor County's Dairy Ambassador and is competing for the post of Washington State Dairy Ambassador for the coming year. The requirements of the job are experience on a dairy farm or with dairy cows, a neat appearance, and residency in Washington state. There is no requirement that the contestant actually drink milk. Gordon is lactose-intolerant! She says she misses dairy products since she lost her ability to digest milk only two years ago. Gordon grew up on a dairy farm, and her sisters have also held the title of "Dairy Princess." If she wins the state title in June, she'll receive a $7,000 scholarship.

Woman Shoots Washer, Home Flooded

An unnamed estranged husband and wife were the focus of a police call in St. Lucie County, Florida. They had gotten together for an evening and the husband was cooking on the outside grill. The couple also engaged in target practice and fired shots inside the house. The wife called 911 when she began to think her husband was shooting too close to her. At least one shot from the woman hit the washing machine, causing metal shards to cut into her leg. The washer leaked and flooded the floor with water.

Asked to write a sworn statement, she said, "I'll try my best but I'm drunk."

Police confiscated all the guns, and told the couple to stay away from each other.

Three Albino Raccoons Found

A homeowner in Toronto called a wildlife control company when he saw a unidentified white animal in the garage. Brad Gates of Gates Wildlife Control thought it might be a skunk from the description. The crew found a litter of four raccoons -three of them albinos! The kits appeared to be somewhere around six to eight weeks old. Gates said that his company, in business for 27 years, had only seen albino raccoon kits twice, and in each case there was only a sole albino in a litter. Albino wild animals are rare because they are easy for predators to spot. The litter was put in a box and relocated to the roof of the house, where the mother raccoon could retrieve them.

Woman Attacked Roommate with Butter

Police in Collier County, Florida responded to a domestic disturbance call and found evidence of a food fight. Sheriff's deputies confronted Dawn Elizabeth Rhash, who allegedly threw butter at her male roommate in an argument over who owned the food items in the home. The police report noted that the victim had butter on his ankle. Alcohol may have been involved.

Drug Deal Pocket-dials Police

If you are involved in illegal activities, it only makes sense to not have 911 on speed dial. An emergency dispatcher in Hall County, Georgia, received a call in which she heard a conversation about a drug deal. Police traced the cell signal to a Waffle House location. When they arrived, they heard another policeman's voice coming from the pocket of 18-year-old Daniel Moore, whose phone had apparently "pocket-dialed" 911. The connection was still open when he was confronted by police at the scene. Moore was arrested for possession of prescription drugs.

Man Blew Up Like a Balloon

A 48-year-old truck driver was the victim of a bizarre accident in New Zealand that reads like a classic cartoon script.

Steven McCormack was standing on his truck's foot plate Saturday when he slipped and fell, breaking a compressed air hose off an air reservoir that powered the truck's brakes.

He fell hard onto the brass fitting, which pierced his left buttock and started pumping air into his body.

"I felt the air rush into my body and I felt like it was going to explode from my foot," he told local media from his hospital bed in the town of Whakatane, on North Island's east coast.

"I was blowing up like a football," he said. "I had no choice but just to lay there, blowing up like a balloon."

Co-workers released a valve to stop the air pressure, and he was taken to a hospital. Doctors say the air inflated McCormack's body under his skin as it separated fat from muscle. He is expected to recover.

Cat Raising Baby Chicks

A farmer in China noticed something really strange about his cat. She doesn't eat chicken. Instead, Niu Niu has taken 30 young chicks under her wing (so to speak), and even licks them clean. Lao Yang of Heilongjiang Province said when he saw the cat was in the chicks' box, he was sure the cat would eat them. But Niu Niu was playing with the babies, and they were climbing over her. He now trusts the cat to protect the chicks from harm. The chicks have bonded with Niu Niu, and follow her everywhere.

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8 Bizarre Places People Have Gotten Stuck
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Some days it just doesn’t pay to venture outside, particularly when you wind up the subject of a police and fire department rescue because you’ve somehow trapped yourself inside an ATM machine. Check out eight other strange environments that have ensnared bystanders and prompted emergency responses.

1. A CLAW MACHINE

A giant see-through container full of plush toys is any child’s idea of paradise, and they will attempt any means possible to inhabit it. For three-year-old Jamie Bracken-Murphy of Nenagh, Tipperary, Ireland, that meant crawling through the small flap from which the toys can be retrieved and finding himself lodged in a claw machine. Murphy was on display for about 10 minutes before an off-duty fireman was able to coax him back out the way he came in. Jamie’s father, Damien, expressed little surprise at his son’s predicament, saying that, "He's a very mischievous, sharp kid who's always pushing boundaries."

2. A TRAFFIC CONE

A man has a traffic cone over his head
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In 2013, a man in Hemel Hempstead, Hertfordshire, England thought he’d have a bit of fun by sticking a traffic cone—otherwise known as a bollard—on his head. To his dismay, the large cone slid down over and past his shoulders, entombing him in plastic. John Waterman, a witness to the incident, captured it all on his cell phone. "It was very random," Waterman told The Telegraph. "It's not the usual thing you see in the middle of Hemel Hempstead on a Sunday lunchtime." The man stumbled around for more than two hours before anyone bothered to call police.

3. A CEMENT HOPPER

Aurora, Illinois was the site of a recent cement mix-up, when an unidentified man became trapped in a cement hopper. The worker had climbed into the machine to clean it, but found he was unable to move when residual cement on the machine's floor began hardening around his legs. It took firefighters more than two hours to extricate him from the hopper. He was taken to a nearby hospital and treated for minor injuries, but released the same day, according to the local fire department.

4. A TOILET

A stock shot of a person stuck in a toilet
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In 2016, a Norwegian man named Cato Berntsen Larsen found himself in deep trouble after he tried lowering himself into a public toilet to retrieve a friend’s cell phone. The toilet’s tank was located underneath the seat, allowing enough room for Larsen to become trapped. To his dismay, the tank—which is not connected to a sewage system and is only emptied sporadically—was full of human waste. Adding to the putrid nature of his enclave, Larsen vomited and was bitten by an unknown animal: His situation did not improve until authorities were able to come and pull him out. "It was damn disgusting," Larsen said, "the worst I have experienced. There were animals down there, too."

5. A GIANT STONE VAGINA

Tourists and residents of Tübingen, Germany are quite familiar with Chacán-Pi, a giant stone sculpture of a vagina created by Peruvian artist Fernando de la Jara. The towering display sits just outside Tübingen University’s Institute for Microbiology and Virology and has attracted curious onlookers since 2001. In 2014, an unnamed American student decided to go spelunking in the 32-ton carving for a photo opportunity and became trapped, necessitating rescue by 22 firefighters. The Guardian called them “midwives” and reported that the student was “delivered by hand.”

6. A WASHING MACHINE

A man appears to be stuck inside a washing machine
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Sometimes, games of hide-and-seek can go very wrong. That was the case for a man near Melbourne, Australia in 2014, who climbed into his top-loading washing machine fully nude to surprise his partner. Unfortunately, he was unable to climb back out. Responders were able to grease him with a liberal application of olive oil and pull him out. First Constable Luke Ingram told the Australian Broadcasting Corporation that, as a rule, “My advice would be for people not to climb into appliances.” The warning went unheeded by another Australian man in 2015, who found himself lodged in a front-loading machine and had to wait while rescuers disassembled the entire unit in order to free him.

7. A BABY SWING

If you’re ever challenged by your adult friends to fit into a baby swing at a public park, you can confidently say that it won’t work. That’s because a man from Vallejo, California tried it in 2011. While he managed to slide into the seat using liquid laundry detergent, he couldn’t slide back out. As his legs began to swell, his friends abandoned him overnight. He wasn’t rescued until nine hours later, when a groundskeeper heard his screams for help at 6 o'clock the following morning. "The man sustained non-life threatening injuries to his body," the San Francisco Chronicle reported, "but there’s no word yet on the condition of his ego."

8. A CHIMNEY

A chimney sits on a rooftop
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There are many Santa jokes to be made, but when you’re the man trapped in your own home’s chimney for four hours, there probably isn’t a huge urge to start laughing. In late 2016, a Tucson, Arizona homeowner who had locked his keys in his home opted to retrieve them by re-entering his abode via the chimney. While it was a spectacularly bad idea, he actually almost made it: His feet were touching the floor of his fireplace before the space grew too narrow to allow for any further passage and he got stuck. Firefighters were able to pull him out from the roof, covered in soot but otherwise unharmed.

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Animals
This Octopus Species in Northern Australia Can Hunt on Dry Land
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Most octopuses live in the ocean—but in northern Australia, a small, shallow-water species takes to land in search of food. Abdopus aculeatus is the only octopus that’s specially adapted to walk on dry ground. Using its long, sucker-lined arms, the slimy sea creature pulls itself along the shoreline as it searches tide pools for crabs.

Witness Abdopus aculeatus in action by watching BBC Earth’s video below.

[h/t BBC Earth]

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