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The Late Movies: White People Rapping Poorly

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The Tumblr White People Rapping Poorly is devoted to cataloging, you guessed it: bad raps by white people. It's off the hook...um...y'all. Their mission statement: "Science has show that for every Eminem, there are approximately 598,467 white people that try to rap but can't. This is devoted to bringing you the best of the worst."

Blazin Hazen

A classic. Sort of.

Denny Blaze writes: "I'm just a middle class guy who's trying to express myself through my rap music. Once you watch my video, you'll just be BLAZED! This is THE ORIGINAL FULL LENGTH VIDEO including an MTV message!!!!"

Cookin' With Gas

The video's poster writes: "An educational rap video on the natural gas cooking safety that I performed in. What a crazy awful mullet!" Note: contains at least one non-white person rapping. The quality of said rapping is unaffected.

Liberal Democrats Rap

Actual lyrics: "Get the Lib Dems / in the house by the Thames / and the country'll be all right / so you can sleep tight." The video's posters do include this note: "DISCLAIMER: This video should be taken with a tongue in cheek approach."

BioRap (DNA Replication and Protein Synthesis with a Beat)

The site's author writes:

This, without exaggeration, is the worst thing I have ever posted here. It is everything that this site is based on rolled into one. Terrible topic, awful rapping, [expletive] video, and the cherry on top: Splicing in random clips of black guys rapping to give it some semblance of street cred. I normally don't explicitly ask people to reblog things, but if you haven't, this is the one. The world needs to know about this so that it never happens again.

Twilight Rap

Spoiler alert: this video kinda ruins the plot of Twilight. And these girls' street cred.

Math Teacher Raps Run This Town (Jay-Z) - Quadratic Equation / Formula

Points for effort, I guess. The site's author writes:

There's a bunch of videos of math teachers taking equations and problems and making them into raps. They're all terrible, and I suggest if you have some time look at the related videos if you want to cry about the current state of humanity....

Tufts Rap (Featuring Harry Potter References)

Laura Potel wanted to go to Tufts. Let's hope this rap helped.

MC Frontalot: A White Person Rapping Properly

My favorite nerdcore rapper shows us how it's done. (Warning: contains some NSFW language.)

Lots More

Check out White People Rapping Poorly or their Twitter feed for all the bad rap you can handle.

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Photo by Keystone/Getty Images
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Food
7 Places To Grab a Bite of Elvis
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Photo by Keystone/Getty Images

August 16, 2017 marks the 40th anniversary of Elvis Presley’s death, reportedly from hypertensive cardiovascular disease associated with atherosclerotic heart disease. Just 42 years old at the time of his passing, the King of Rock 'n' Roll had a reputation for loving rich, decadent food as much as he loved music, with the infamous fried peanut butter and banana sandwich being one of his favorite delicacies.

While we can’t recommend them as part of your daily diet, there are Elvis-inspired indulgences to be found at eateries across the country. If you’re ever in the mood for a taste of Elvis, here’s where to go.

1. THE ELVIS MARTINI // FORT WORTH, TEXAS

With roots stretching back well over half a century, Forth Worth's T&P Tavern used to be a rail station stopover for notables including Elvis Presley himself. To honor their history, the bar offers the Elvis—a martini flavored with peanut butter, banana, and bacon.

2. MR. LUCKY'S // LAS VEGAS, NEVADA

Brian Brown

There’s decadent, and then there’s Las Vegas. To match the city’s reputation for excess, Mr. Lucky’s—the Hard Rock Hotel & Casino's 24-hour diner—can reinvigorate patrons pulling all-nighters with the King. It’s an enormous plate of 14 banana pancakes served with Nutella, whipped cream, powdered sugar, and 14 slices of bacon. Before ordering, don't forget to tell your family you love them.

3. JOHNNY J'S // CASPER, WYOMING

In 2008, then-presidential candidate Barack Obama paid a visit to Johnny J's while on the campaign trail.
EMMANUEL DUNAND/AFP/Getty Images

Johnny J’s specializes in burgers named after influential rock stars, including Chuck Berry, Bill Haley, and, of course, Elvis Presley. With the Elvis, patrons can expect a slab of beef topped with red chili and melted cheddar jack cheese, served open faced—without a single banana in sight.

4. BROOKLYN FARMACY & SODA FOUNTAIN // BROOKLYN, NEW YORK

This reworked early 20th-century pharmacy underwent renovations for reopening in 2010. Like any proper soda fountain, they're all about sundaes and milkshakes—including The Elvis, a vanilla ice cream topped with peanut butter, banana, and candied bacon.

5. MEMPHIS MOJO CAFE // BARTLETT, TENNESSEE

Mojo's

The Memphis Mojo Cafe and food truck are go-to spots for burgers, but it’s their dessert that will send Elvis fanatics into a sugar frenzy. Their Elvis Dippers are Nutter Butter cookies dipped in maple waffle batter, deep-fried, and dunked in butterscotch banana cream.

6. OATMEALS // NEW YORK, NEW YORK

The menu at OatMeals offers something for everyone, even if that someone is into Sriracha-covered oatmeal. But the standout might be The Elvis, a bowl of oats topped with peanut butter, banana, bacon, and sea salt.

7. MARLOWE'S RIBS & RESTAURANT // MEMPHIS, TENNESSEE

Marlowe's Ribs & Restaurant

Just a few minutes from Graceland, it’s almost a prerequisite that Marlowe’s Ribs & Restaurant would have a surplus of Elvis-inspired items on their menu—and they don’t disappoint. Among their specialties: the Elvis Burger, which comes topped with bacon, smoked ham, and American cheese. For dessert, the Crispy Creme Banana Foster Sundae—a donut with vanilla ice cream, peanut butter sauce, sauteed bananas, and whipped cream—is a modern take on some of the King's favorite treats.

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Pop Culture
Prince Is Getting His Own Pantone Color: Love Symbol #2
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Bertrand Guay/AFP/Getty Images

Prince was music royalty, so it only makes sense that purple—the hue traditionally favored by monarchs—was his signature color. To memorialize the late singer/songwriter, who died in April 2016, the Pantone Color Institute and the Prince Estate have collaborated on a custom shade of dark purple to represent the High Priest of Pop.

Pantone

Called Love Symbol #2, "the color was inspired by Prince’s custom-made Yamaha piano, which was originally scheduled to go on tour with the performer before his untimely passing at the age of 57," Pantone stated in a press release. "The color pays tribute to Prince’s indelible mark on music, art, fashion, and culture."

Thanks to the 1984 film Purple Rain and its Oscar-winning music, Prince has long been associated with royal hue. Now, “while the spectrum of the color purple will still be used in respect to the 'Purple One,' Love Symbol #2 will be the official color across the brand he left behind,” according to Pantone.

We couldn’t think of a better way to celebrate the Funky One’s flamboyant legacy.

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