The Weird Week in Review

Seattle Superhero Suffers Broken Nose

Phoenix Jones wears a mask and a superhero costume when patrolling the streets of Seattle, but does not have Superman's shield of invulnerability. Jones witnessed a fight in Lynwood, Washington and intervened, holding one of the two men in a headlock. When the other man drew a gun, Jones released his hold, and the man he was holding kicked him in the face, breaking Jones' nose. The superhero says the injury is just part of the job, but Seattle police want him to stop getting involved and just report observed crimes to authorities.

Man Sneezes Out Bullet After Being Shot

Darco Sangermano was rushed to a hospital in Naples, Italy when a stray bullet pierced his head on New Years Eve.

The bullet, a .22 caliber, entered the right side of his head, passed behind his eye through the socket, hit a bone in his nose and lodged itself in his right nostril.

Covered in blood, but still conscious, Sangermano then sneezed out the bullet, and apart from a headache, told doctors he felt fine.

Doctors operated on Sangermano to remove bone fragments and stitch the wound. They expect he will fully recover and even keep the use of his eye.

Drunk Cowboys Arrested on Horse and Mule

The question of whether someone riding a horse while drunk should be charged with DWI has been debated for years, since a sober horse can usually control itself and find its way home. That's not so certain in the middle of a city. Police in Austin, Texas arrested Jose Rios and Samuel Olivo Jr. for DWI because they were afraid the two, who were riding a horse and a mule, might cause an accident on the busy city street. The DWI charges were later dropped and Rios was charged with public intoxication. The animals were confiscated and sent to an animal hospital, where Rios and Olivo can retrieve them after paying impound fees.

Competing for Miss America Without Hair

Miss Delaware, Kayla Martell, has competed in beauty pageants for years and is currently in Las Vegas for the Miss America pageant, which concludes Saturday night. What sets Martell apart is that she suffers from alopecia areata and is bald. Martell competes wearing a wig, but is not ashamed of her appearance and even poses for pictures without hair. And although stress sometimes triggers hair loss in people with alopecia, Martell's hair has actually started to grow lately. She said she will have to shave her head in order to attach her pageant wig properly!

Phone Thief Responded to Call from Police

Brian Westerfield approached a man in a Nampa, Idaho Walmart store who had just bought a smartphone. He grabbed the phone and fled. He was gone when police arrived, but investigators hatched a plan to call the thief. A police officer called the stolen phone and offered to buy the smartphone. They haggled over the price and then arranged to meet for the sale. When Westerfield arrived at the meeting place and realized he has been set up, he tried to run but fell flat on his face. It apparently never occurred to Westerfield to wonder how his potential buyer got the phone number when he didn't yet know it himself.

Scooby to the Rescue

Augustin Zamora was walking his Great Dane named Scooby in Chicago Thursday afternoon. Meanwhile, another man was following a 14-year-old girl.

The girl had just gotten off a Diversey Avenue bus near the 2800 block of North Whipple street and was walking home when she noticed a man following her, the Chicago Tribune reported. The man grabbed her as she ran up the stairs to her home, threw her to the ground and began to undress her.

Startled when Scooby and Zamora approached them, the attacker ran into an alley at George Street where he was corner by the team until police arrived.

Police charged 28-year-old Larry Smith with criminal sexual assault.

Intruder Found Napping in Coffin

An unnamed man broke into a funeral parlor in Vienna, Austria, found a bottle of wine, drank it, and fell asleep in a coffin, where proprietor Heinrich Altbart found him in the morning! The undertaker took a picture of the 25-year-old intruder asleep in the coffin and notified police. Albart said the intruder cause "substantial damage" to the funeral director's office door. There's no word on what the intruder was actually looking for in the building

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Pierluigi Luceri, Flickr // CC BY-NC-ND 2.0
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Two Human Toes Were Stolen From an Anatomy Exhibit
Pierluigi Luceri, Flickr // CC BY-NC-ND 2.0
Pierluigi Luceri, Flickr // CC BY-NC-ND 2.0

A 28-year-old New Zealand man walked into an anatomy exhibition with 10 toes and walked out with 12. We don't know why or how he did it, but the man stole two human toes from a Body Worlds display in Auckland last month, The New Zealand Herald reports.

The unnamed man appeared in court Monday and pleaded guilty to improperly interfering with the corpse "of an unknown person" and purloining two toes, which alone are valued at about $3800. The motivation for the human remains heist wasn't stated. (Fulfilling a dare seems a likely explanation, or maybe he's just a fan of The Big Lebowski.)

Whatever the reason may be, the story has a happy ending, at least: The digits have since been returned to their rightful place in the "Vital" exhibit, which explores the human body in motion. "Vital," which will remain open in Auckland until July 13, is one of several traveling exhibitions curated by Body Worlds. Two other Body Worlds exhibits are currently on view in the U.S., including "RX" (showcasing the effects of disease) in Toledo, Ohio, and "Animal Inside Out" (an "anatomical safari") in Richmond, Virginia.

The bodies, all of which are donated for exhibition purposes, are preserved via plastination, a process that "replaces bodily fluids and soluble fat in specimens with fluid plastics that harden after vacuum-forced impregnation," according to the Body Worlds website. More than 16,000 people around the world have signed up to donate their bodies after their deaths.

[h/t The New Zealand Herald]

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Dominique Faget, AFP/Getty Images
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David Lynch's Amazon T-Shirt Shop is as Surreal as His Movies
Dominique Faget, AFP/Getty Images
Dominique Faget, AFP/Getty Images

David Lynch, the celebrated director behind baffling-but-brilliant films like Eraserhead, Blue Velvet, Mulholland Drive, and Twin Peaks, is now selling his equally surreal T-shirts on Amazon.

As IndieWire reports, each shirt bears an image of one of Lynch’s paintings or photographs with an accompanying title. Some of his designs are more straightforward (the shirts labeled “House” and “Whale” feature, respectively, drawings of a house and a whale), while others are obscure (the shirt called “Chicken Head Tears” features a disturbing sculpture of a semi-human face).

This isn’t the first time Lynch has ventured into pursuits outside of filmmaking. Previously, he has sold coffee, designed furniture, produced music, hosted daily weather reports, and published a book about his experience with transcendental meditation. Art, in fact, falls a little closer to Lynch’s roots; the filmmaker trained for years at the Pennsylvania Academy of the Fine Arts before making his mark in Hollywood.

Lynch’s Amazon store currently sells 57 T-shirts, ranging in size from small to triple XL, all for $26 each. As for our own feelings on the collection, we think they’re best reflected by this T-shirt named “Honestly, I’m Sort of Confused.”

Check out some of our favorites below:

T-shirt that says "Honestly, I'm Sort of Confused"
"Honestly, I'm Sort of Confused"

Buy it on Amazon

T-shirt with a drawing of a sleeping bird on it
"Sleeping Bird"

Buy it on Amazon

T-shirt that says Peace on Earth over and over again. The caption is pretty on the nose.
"Peace on Earth"

Buy it on Amazon

T-shirt with an image of a screaming face made out of turkey with ants in its mouth
"Turkey Cheese Head"

Buy it on Amazon

T-shirt with an odd sculpted clay face asking if you know who it is. You get the idea.
"I Was Wondering If You Know Who I Am?"

Buy it on Amazon

T-shirt with an image of a sculpted head that is not a chicken. It is blue, though.
"Chicken Head Blue"

Buy it on Amazon

T-shirt with a drawing of a lobster on it. Below the drawing, the lobster is labeled with the word lobster. Shocking, I know.
"Lobster"

Buy it on Amazon

T-shirt with an abstract drawing of what is by David Lynch's account, at least, a cowboy
"Cowboy"

Buy it on Amazon

[h/t IndieWire]

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