On any given day corporations, PR firms and marketing personnel disperse thousands of press releases out into the world – touting new products, upcoming events and nearly any other conceivable news nugget you can imagine.
Looking to crow just for the sake of it, PR professional Mitch Delaplane struck a bit of self-promotional gold this week with a release entitled “The Most Amazing Press Release Ever Written.” This vitally important statement was distributed for the sole purpose of praising the fact that it is a vitally important statement.
Here it is:
The Most Amazing Press Release Ever Written
PR Professional Distributes Groundbreaking Press Release
CHICAGO, Jan. 11, 2011 /PRNewswire/ – Mitch Delaplane of PitchPoint Public Relations has issued the most amazing press release ever written. While hundreds of press releases are distributed daily, Delaplane feels this particular release will go down in history as the most amazing press release that has ever been written.
“I’ve been in the business for over ten years and have to say, I’m speechless,” claims Delaplane. ”The title alone grabs you and demands that it be read. Then there’s this quote that completely takes things to an entirely new level. I’m proud of this press release. In fact, I think it is [really] amazing.”
Typically reserved for company news announcements and other public relations communications, the press release has long been the favored default for informing media about exciting, groundbreaking news. Then this news release comes along and changes everything people thought they knew about press releases.
“I’m quoting myself again because the first quote didn’t do it justice,” says Delaplane. ”If you’re still reading this news release, then you know what I’m talking about when I say it’s something special. In fact, it’s 483 words of pure awesomeness. When it crosses the wires, I believe history will have been made.”
The science behind this Earth-shattering news release lies in its simplicity – no science, just pure old press release craftsmanship. It started with an incredible brainstorming session that asked a very simple question: “what makes a press release amazing?” Elaborate notes from that brainstorm were then formulated into mesmerizing sentences, paragraphs and pages…all expertly designed to make you pause and reflect at the brilliance of this press release.
Every single word of this news release was track changed, stetted, then track changed again to its original draft. Upon final approval, it was spell checked, fact checked and printed for posterity. The result is a two-page, 1.5-spaced news release that is like no other news release in existence.
According to PitchPoint Public Relations you have just read the most amazing press release ever written. If you agree, tell Mitch at firstname.lastname@example.org or follow him on Twitter at Lifeisamitch.
If you disagree, issue your own press release and prepare for war.
And now you’re up to date.
(Via Tech Crunch)