The Quick 10: 10 Weird Caffeinated Products

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As a new mom, I’m a fan of caffeine. I mean, I liked it before. But now it’s a godsend. I prefer my caffeine in the normal formats, though – Diet Coke, lattes, most forms of chocolate. If you’re more of a risk-taker, though, here are 10 items to try.

1. Water. Soda’s bad for your teeth, a lot of people don’t like the taste of coffee, and those energy drinks just seem bad for you. What does that leave? Water. Water Joe has the same amount of caffeine as a cup of coffee or a 12-ounce soft drink. And if that’s not enough for you, the folks over at Water Joe suggest brewing your coffee with their product for “supercharged hypercoffee.”

2. Snack Puffs. Engobi Energy puffs are infused with a little kick. OK, a lot of kick: each 1.5 ounce bag has more than double the amount of caffeine in a Red Bull. Reviewers say the two flavors – Cinnamon Surge and Lemon Lift – are incredibly sugary to counter the bitter caffeine taste.

3. Brownies. Yeah, I know, chocolate already has caffeine. But these have even more. A bakery in Ames, Iowa (home to Iowa State University) called “A Snack in the Face” makes a brownie that… well, smacks you in the face with 200 mg of caffeine, just a little bit more than a short (8 oz.) coffee from Starbucks. In the name of research, I will try one this weekend and let you know how they are.

4. Soap. You can find several caffeine-infused soaps on the market, from Shower Shock to Bath Buzz. But the results seem questionable at best. Most research shows that the awake feeling users get after use may be because of the power of suggestion and the peppermint smell that accompanies most caffeinated soaps... not the results of the stimulant actually sinking in through your skin.

5. Stockings. One Australian company says the caffeine they put in their pantyhose can help keep cellulite at bay. I have my doubts.

6. Lollipops. And not just fruit-flavored or coffee flavored… Bacon-Maple caffeinated lollipops. Each one contains the equivalent of two cups of coffee. They also make a coffee flavor and a cola flavor.

7. Marshmallows. Each Stay-Puft Marshmallow (yup, they’re a Ghostbusters-licensed product) contains a whopping 100 mg of caffeine. Plop a few of those bad boys in your hot chocolate and you’re good to go for a while. Or whip up a batch of Rice Krispie treats that you’ll definitely want to avoid giving your kids.

8. Beer. Sure – mix uppers with downers. Apparently several companies thought this was a great idea, and not just small start-up companies: Budweiser debuted B{+E} beer in 2004. The caffeinated beers have been coming under scrutiny as of late, though: California is looking to ban the potentially hazardous combo.

9. Beef jerky. Appropriately called “Perky Jerky,” you have to wonder if the creators of this stuff hit on the name first and then decided to roll with it. Because what other reason could you have for wanting to caffeinate dried meat? OK, OK… I guess it’s been a big hit with the hiking set.

10. Cereal. Chowing down on a bowl of Captain Buzz’s Spazztroids in the morning is just like drinking about a cup and a half of coffee. Or it would be, if it had been a real product. This fake cereal was briefly posted on ThinkGeek on April Fool’s Day a couple of years ago, but give it time – someone will surely start developing it any day now.

Have you tried any of these or any weird caffeinated products in general? Give us your review in the comments!

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September 20, 2010 - 12:57pm
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