The Weird Week in Review

Woman Says Boyfriend Beat Her with a Cat

Police arrested 49-year-old Lasalle Davis in Hoboken, New Jersey Tuesday for domestic assault. Davis' 20-year-old girlfriend told police that he punched her a few times and hit her with a "feline cat". The woman wished to file a restraining order against Davis. The whereabouts and condition of the cat were unknown at the time of the report.

Bearded Lady Reunited with Son

Richard Lorenc never knew his biological mother, and began searching for her at age 33. The Kansas Department of Social and Rehabilitation Services provided him with a name six weeks later: Lorenc's mother is 62-year-old Vivian Wheeler. He also found out that both his mother and grandmother had hypertrichosis, which causes abnormal hair growth, and that Wheeler was born a hermaphrodite. Wheeler worked most of her life at a carnival sideshow as a bearded lady. She is in the Guinness Book of World Records as the woman with the longest beard -11 inches! Lorenc was reunited with his mother, and learned the story of how they were separated all those years ago. Wheeler is considering leaving her home of Bakersfield, California to live closer to her son in Kansas.

Exploding Sauerkraut

Who says high school science is boring? A hazardous materials team was summoned to Kelly Road Secondary School in Prince George, British Columbia when a can of sauerkraut exploded last Friday. The 24 students and four staff members in the Food Science class were quarantined until the substance was identified and tested for botulism. The sauerkraut had been fermenting for years. When the hazmat team was finished, students were sent home for the day.

Squid and Broccoli

A truck hauling 30,000 pounds of squid dumped its load Tuesday near Soledad, California. The 71-year-old driver lost control and overturned the vehicle, spilling its contents into a nearby broccoli field. The driver was not injured, and no other vehicles were involved. The highway was not blocked, but everyone involved in the cleanup probably lost their appetite.

Mini-moo: The World's Smallest Cow

A tiny British cow has been named the world's smallest cow by the Guinness Book of World records. The 11-year-old cow named Swallow lives in West Yorkshire, England and measures just 33 inches tall. She's a Dexter cow, which is a small breed, but Swallow is particularly small even among other Dexters. She has delivered nine calves, the youngest of which is already bigger than its mother, and Swallow is working on her 10th.

Failed Break-in Leads to Surprise Reunion

Police responded to a report of a man trying to break into a house in Bloomington, Illinois last weekend. It was determined that 21-year-old Christopher Kunder was trying to get into his own house to surprise his mother who didn't know he was on leave from military service in Afghanistan. The problem was that his mother was not home.

“Hey!” said Christopher, “could you call my mom, tell her there’s an emergency and she needs to come home immediately?”

Officer Martin said, no, he couldn’t do that. He is a police officer, after all.

Instead, he asked for Christopher’s mom’s phone number and called with nothing but the truth.

“Mrs. Martha Sternickle?”

“Uh, huh.”

“This is Officer Martin of Bloomington Police. We’ve had a report of somebody trying to enter your home. It was unsuccessful but you might want to come home to make sure there’s no problem.”

When Sternickle arrived, Officer Martin led her to the police car to identify the "suspect" in the back seat. A joyful reunion followed.

98-year-old Dies, Leaves 379 Grandchildren

Henry Brown Sr. passed away at his home in Florida last week at age 98. He was in good health and had just finished raking leaves. Brown had ten children (seven survive), one of whom was named Florida Teacher of the Year in 2002. He also leaves 61 grandchildren, 130 great-grandchildren, 162 great-great-grandchildren, and 26 great-great-great-grandchildren. When the six generations assembled for a reunion in July, the group picture had to be taken in segments. Brown lived an interesting life which is recounted in part in his obituary. Funeral services will be tomorrow.

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Pierluigi Luceri, Flickr // CC BY-NC-ND 2.0
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Two Human Toes Were Stolen From an Anatomy Exhibit
Pierluigi Luceri, Flickr // CC BY-NC-ND 2.0
Pierluigi Luceri, Flickr // CC BY-NC-ND 2.0

A 28-year-old New Zealand man walked into an anatomy exhibition with 10 toes and walked out with 12. We don't know why or how he did it, but the man stole two human toes from a Body Worlds display in Auckland last month, The New Zealand Herald reports.

The unnamed man appeared in court Monday and pleaded guilty to improperly interfering with the corpse "of an unknown person" and purloining two toes, which alone are valued at about $3800. The motivation for the human remains heist wasn't stated. (Fulfilling a dare seems a likely explanation, or maybe he's just a fan of The Big Lebowski.)

Whatever the reason may be, the story has a happy ending, at least: The digits have since been returned to their rightful place in the "Vital" exhibit, which explores the human body in motion. "Vital," which will remain open in Auckland until July 13, is one of several traveling exhibitions curated by Body Worlds. Two other Body Worlds exhibits are currently on view in the U.S., including "RX" (showcasing the effects of disease) in Toledo, Ohio, and "Animal Inside Out" (an "anatomical safari") in Richmond, Virginia.

The bodies, all of which are donated for exhibition purposes, are preserved via plastination, a process that "replaces bodily fluids and soluble fat in specimens with fluid plastics that harden after vacuum-forced impregnation," according to the Body Worlds website. More than 16,000 people around the world have signed up to donate their bodies after their deaths.

[h/t The New Zealand Herald]

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Dominique Faget, AFP/Getty Images
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David Lynch's Amazon T-Shirt Shop is as Surreal as His Movies
Dominique Faget, AFP/Getty Images
Dominique Faget, AFP/Getty Images

David Lynch, the celebrated director behind baffling-but-brilliant films like Eraserhead, Blue Velvet, Mulholland Drive, and Twin Peaks, is now selling his equally surreal T-shirts on Amazon.

As IndieWire reports, each shirt bears an image of one of Lynch’s paintings or photographs with an accompanying title. Some of his designs are more straightforward (the shirts labeled “House” and “Whale” feature, respectively, drawings of a house and a whale), while others are obscure (the shirt called “Chicken Head Tears” features a disturbing sculpture of a semi-human face).

This isn’t the first time Lynch has ventured into pursuits outside of filmmaking. Previously, he has sold coffee, designed furniture, produced music, hosted daily weather reports, and published a book about his experience with transcendental meditation. Art, in fact, falls a little closer to Lynch’s roots; the filmmaker trained for years at the Pennsylvania Academy of the Fine Arts before making his mark in Hollywood.

Lynch’s Amazon store currently sells 57 T-shirts, ranging in size from small to triple XL, all for $26 each. As for our own feelings on the collection, we think they’re best reflected by this T-shirt named “Honestly, I’m Sort of Confused.”

Check out some of our favorites below:

T-shirt that says "Honestly, I'm Sort of Confused"
"Honestly, I'm Sort of Confused"

Buy it on Amazon

T-shirt with a drawing of a sleeping bird on it
"Sleeping Bird"

Buy it on Amazon

T-shirt that says Peace on Earth over and over again. The caption is pretty on the nose.
"Peace on Earth"

Buy it on Amazon

T-shirt with an image of a screaming face made out of turkey with ants in its mouth
"Turkey Cheese Head"

Buy it on Amazon

T-shirt with an odd sculpted clay face asking if you know who it is. You get the idea.
"I Was Wondering If You Know Who I Am?"

Buy it on Amazon

T-shirt with an image of a sculpted head that is not a chicken. It is blue, though.
"Chicken Head Blue"

Buy it on Amazon

T-shirt with a drawing of a lobster on it. Below the drawing, the lobster is labeled with the word lobster. Shocking, I know.
"Lobster"

Buy it on Amazon

T-shirt with an abstract drawing of what is by David Lynch's account, at least, a cowboy
"Cowboy"

Buy it on Amazon

[h/t IndieWire]

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