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8 Theme Park Rides I Wouldn't Wait in Line For

There are many places I want to visit in my lifetime: Paris, Australia, and Montreal, just to name a few. All of these places have attractions I would like to see. In Paris, there are mimes and the Louvre. In Australia, there are wombats and boxing kangaroos. In Montreal, there are nightclubs and Canadian people. There are some attractions, however, that I don't need to see. For example...

1. The Cannonball Loop
Action Park, Vernon Valley, New Jersey

If you put a full water bottle on a string and swing the bottle quickly in a circle, the water will not spill out. But the same rules of physics don't hold when humans are substituted for water. The Cannonball Loop was a waterslide with a loop-the-loop at the end, and the few riders that did have a go at it before it was closed down were generally injured. Rumors have it that crash test dummies were decapitated during testing, and that park workers were paid to act as guinea pigs.

2. The Human Catapult
Middlemoor Water Park, Woolavington, England

Count on the country that invented powdered wigs and Marmite to give us a giant human catapult. Visitors to this dangerous UK attraction would pay $66 dollars to fly at sixty miles per hour into a waiting safety net. Unfortunately for 19-year-old Oxford student Kostadine Yankov, the ancient technology was not quite brought up to modern standards. The ride was closed in 2002 when Dino died as a result of injuries sustained from missing the net.

3. The Alpine Slide
Action Park, Vernon Valley, New Jersey

From the makers of The Cannonball Loop comes the Alpine Slide, another seemed-like-a-good-idea-at-the-time feat of engineering. Alpine slides can be safe; however, Action Park did not take the necessary steps to make sure that their slide was up to par. Their one main safety feature allowed visitors to choose between one of two speeds: snail-pace slow or ridiculously fast. Other well thought out features included hay at tight turns to protect riders who flew off the cement and fiberglass track. In the year between 1984 and 1985, the ride resulted in 14 fractures and 26 head injuries. During the time it was operational (it was shut down in 1998), the ride also resulted in at least one fatality.

[You really need to read WeirdNJ's thorough history of Action Park.]

4. Space Journey
Ecoventure Valley, Shenzhen, China

I generally like the things that come out of China: the plastic cars I played with as a kid, my t-shirt, and my roommate. The Space Journey, however, is not one of those things. Unlike my shirt or my roommate, the aptly named ride contains twelve spinning pods that simulate a space journey. In the summer of 2010, the ride malfunctioned, killing six people and injuring another ten. Witnesses spoke of noise, smoke, fire, and spraying machine oil. According to one witness, "all the cabins but the one we were sitting in were destroyed. Some people fell onto the rail and some fell on the ground. Some people died instantly and were just hanging dead in their seats."

5. Hundeprutterutchebane
BonBon-Land, Denmark

The name roughly translates to "Dog-Fart Switchback," but absolutely nothing is lost in translation. This dog poop themed roller coaster, replete with realistic dog and dog poop, features speakers that make farting noises as visitors pass by.

6. Cage of Death
Crocosaurus Cove, Darwin, Australia

With a name like Cage of Death, what could possibly go wrong? At this attraction, spectators enter behind an acrylic barrier submerged in a crocodile tank to get up close and personal to some of the world's largest saltwater crocodiles. Although the Cage of Death has no reported fatalities, the proximity to hungry crocodiles seems like an accident waiting to happen.

7. The Great Expectations Boat Ride
Dickens World, Kent, England

If it ain't broke, don't fix it. Great Expectations, one of the greatest books ever to come out of England, was certainly never broken. Nevertheless, someone felt the need to turn the book into a riverboat ride. The owner describes the ride as "dark, smoky, moody"¦ full of smells and mist." The description evokes images of bogs or swamps, both very unpleasant places.

8. Dragon Challenge
The Wizarding World of Harry Potter, Orlando, Florida

I'm sure this ride is great. In fact, I know it's great, because I rode it several years ago when it was still called Dueling Dragons. It's the exact same ride, albeit with a difference entrance and probably a longer line.
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What are your favorite and least favorite theme park attractions?

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travel
The Real Bay of Pigs: Big Major Cay in the Bahamas
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When most people visit the Bahamas, they’re thinking about a vacation filled with sun, sand, and swimming—not swine. But you can get all four of those things if you visit Big Major Cay.

Big Major Cay, also now known as “Pig Island” for obvious reasons, is part of the Exuma Cays in the Bahamas. Exuma includes private islands owned by Johnny Depp, Tyler Perry, Faith Hill and Tim McGraw, and David Copperfield. Despite all of the local star power, the real attraction seems to be the family of feral pigs that has established Big Major Cay as their own. It’s hard to say how many are there—some reports say it’s a family of eight, while others say the numbers are up to 40. However big the band of roaming pigs is, none of them are shy: Their chief means of survival seems to be to swim right up to boats and beg for food, which the charmed tourists are happy to provide (although there are guidelines about the best way of feeding the pigs).

No one knows exactly how the pigs got there, but there are plenty of theories. Among them: 1) A nearby resort purposely released them more than a decade ago, hoping to attract tourists. 2) Sailors dropped them off on the island, intending to dine on pork once they were able to dock for a longer of period of time. For one reason or another, the sailors never returned. 3) They’re descendants of domesticated pigs from a nearby island. When residents complained about the original domesticated pigs, their owners solved the problem by dropping them off at Big Major Cay, which was uninhabited. 4) The pigs survived a shipwreck. The ship’s passengers did not.

The purposeful tourist trap theory is probably the least likely—VICE reports that the James Bond movie Thunderball was shot on a neighboring island in the 1960s, and the swimming swine were there then.

Though multiple articles reference how “adorable” the pigs are, don’t be fooled. One captain warns, “They’ll eat anything and everything—including fingers.”

Here they are in action in a video from National Geographic:

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Pop Culture
The House From The Money Pit Is For Sale

Looking for star-studded new digs? For a cool $5.9 million, Top10RealEstateDeals.com reports, you can own the Long Island country home featured in the 1986 comedy The Money Pit—no renovations required.

For the uninitiated, the film features Tom Hanks and Shelley Long as hapless first-time homeowners who purchase a rundown mansion for cheap. The savings they score end up being paltry compared to the debt they incur while trying to fix up the house.

The Money Pit featured exterior shots of "Northway," an eight-bedroom estate located in the village of Lattingtown in Nassau County, New York. Luckily for potential buyers, its insides are far nicer than the fictional ones portrayed in the movie, thanks in part to extensive renovations performed by the property’s current owners.

Amenities include a giant master suite with a French-style dressing room, eight fireplaces, a "wine wall," and a heated outdoor saltwater pool. Check out some photos below, or view the entire listing here.

The real-life Long Island home featured in “The Money Pit”
TopTenRealEstateDeals.com

The real-life Long Island home featured in “The Money Pit”
TopTenRealEstateDeals.com

The real-life Long Island home featured in “The Money Pit”
TopTenRealEstateDeals.com

The real-life Long Island home featured in “The Money Pit”
TopTenRealEstateDeals.com

The real-life Long Island home featured in “The Money Pit”
TopTenRealEstateDeals.com

The real-life Long Island home featured in 1986's “The Money Pit”
TopTenRealEstateDeals.com

The real-life Long Island home featured in 1986's “The Money Pit”
TopTenRealEstateDeals.com

[h/t Top10RealEstateDeals.com]

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