Here's a shocker: Mike Rowe, the wisecracking host of Discovery's Dirty Jobs, was a host on the home shopping channel QVC in the early 90's. What makes this fun is that Rowe is clearly aware of how absurd QVC is, and spends much of his onscreen time cracking jokes and generally making a mockery of the job. It's awesome. Also, the pricing on all of these items is insane. Behold:
"The lamp is a little warm, not unlike lava. [Feigns burn.] Medic! A singular opportunity to not only enjoy the bubbling effects of lava but fuse all your fingers together and create a little webbed appendage for you."
Katsak Cat Toy
"If I were a cat, I'd be loving this. ... The crinkling sound makes cats just crazy. They love it. That's why this is a cat toy. That's a cat on the front, and when a cat sees this, he'll be drawn to it, magically. ... He'll just wrestle with the bag and experience a singular cat thrill."
Noah's Ark Carry Bag
"We got Noah, we got the Ark, dogs and cats, living together, and every other form of beast on here as well, for 27 dollars and 79 cents." He eventually proceeds to remove and play with various animals in the bag's pouches.
Precious Moments Figurine - Boy and Girl on Seesaw
"Like Smurfs, sort of, the Precious Moments." Also an extended mis-remembrance of How the Grinch Stole Christmas. "The little boy, with superior weight, has kept the little girl elevated on the other end of the seesaw."
Lee Sands Flat Front Calfskin Handband (Digression About Attraction to Animated Characters)
"You suddenly find yourself attracted to the animated figure, isn't that terrible? The Little Mermaid? I'm relatively secure in my manhood, I can say that."
Merry 16" Porcelain Carol Anne Doll
"Part of the charm about dolls like this is they don't change, they're very consistent, unlike us flawed human beings."
Much, Much More
Yeah, just go to this YouTube search page and you'll be all set.
Many thanks to Maximumfun.org for pointing this out to the world.