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Auto-Tune the News: The Turtle Fence

"The more I drink, the more this Congress is makin' sense," sings a member of the Auto-Tune the News crew in their latest episode. Normally I wouldn't devote an entire post to just one Auto-Tune the News clip, but this one is worth it. The basic material here is presented by Congressman Peter Hoekstra, who argues (via a colorful story about a turtle fence built in Michigan) that money spent on health care reform will not be evenly apportioned among the states. In other words, some states will get turtle fences and some won't. There's also some discussion of a rattlesnake fence and manatees swimming underneath yachts, as well as turtle doctors. What? Well, you can read and watch Hoekstra's original comments on the turtle fence here, or enjoy the summary as presented in Auto-Tune the News, quoted here in part:

Congressman Trent Franks (R-Arizona): "We need a rattlesnake fence!"

Congressman Peter Hoekstra (R-Michigan): "YOU SHALL BUILD A TURTLE FENCE."

Also covered: Scott Brown, jobs, jobs, jobs, the Super Bowl, and ethics laws in Louisiana. Kind of makes a man want to build a turtle fence.

See also: Know Your Meme: Auto-Tune and The World of Auto-Tune.

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Animals
Watch a Rogue Pet Dog Interrupt a Russian News Anchor on Air
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iStock

Last week, a Russian news broadcast briefly went to the dogs after its host was startled by a surprise co-anchor: a friendly black canine that wandered on set, announced its presence with a loud bark, and climbed onto her desk.

 

As TODAY reports, Mir24 TV anchor Ilona Linarte went off script for a few minutes, telling viewers "I've got a dog here. What is this dog doing in the studio?" After the initial shock wore off, she gave her furry guest a tepid welcome, patting its head as she gently pushed it off the desk. ("I actually prefer cats,'' Linarte remarked. "I'm a cat lady.")

Linarte’s query was answered when the TV station announced that the dog had accompanied another show’s guest on set, and somehow got loose. That said, rogue animals have a proud tradition of crashing live news broadcasts around the world, so we’re assuming this won’t be the last time a news anchor is upstaged by an adorable guest star (some of which have better hair than them).

[h/t TODAY]

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Falcon Heavy and Dragon. Image credit: SpaceX via Wikimedia Commons // CC0 1.0
SpaceX Is Sending Two Private Citizens Around the Moon
Falcon Heavy and Dragon. Image credit: SpaceX via Wikimedia Commons // CC0 1.0
Falcon Heavy and Dragon. Image credit: SpaceX via Wikimedia Commons // CC0 1.0

Two members of the public are set to take an historic trip around the Moon, according to an announcement from SpaceX CEO Elon Musk. As The Verge reports, the anonymous private citizens have already placed substantial deposits on the commercial space flight.

The private spacecraft company SpaceX revealed on Monday that the Falcon Heavy rocket will be launching with its Crew Dragon spacecraft in late 2018. The mission will consist of a circumnavigation of the Moon, passing over the body’s surface before traveling farther into space and returning to Earth. In total, the trip will cover 300,000 to 400,000 miles and take a week to complete.

A noteworthy part of the plan is the human cargo that will be on board. Instead of professional astronauts, the craft will carry two paying customers into space. The passengers, who’ve yet to be named, will both need to pass several fitness tests before they're permitted to make the journey. According to The Verge, Musk said the customers are “very serious” and that the cost of the trip is “comparable” to that of a crewed mission to the International Space Station. The goal for SpaceX is to eventually send one or two commercial flights into space each year, which could account for 10 to 20 percent of the company’s earnings.

[h/t The Verge]

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