CLOSE

That's Not Art

Want to have a laugh? Then please get yourself over to Garrett Murray's That's Not Art, a scathing indictment of angsty pseudo-art posted on Tumblr blogs (I refuse to say "Tumblogs" as that's a pseudo-word). Yes, we're laughing AT these people, but come on, this is ridiculous:

Murray's commentary:

You are in love with a ghost? How did you meet? I've been trying to meet someone new for a while now, but these speed dating events are total crap. Every one of the women I've talked to seems to find me repulsive. A ghost, though, might be really into me.

I used to tell my wife she was so good at not paying attention that most times it seemed like she wasn't even in the room. I'm thinking this is pretty much exactly how dating a ghost would feel. Except the ghost wouldn't randomly jump back into the conversation to bitch and moan about how you refuse to take the recycling out.

A few more favorites after the jump.

I love love

This just seems pointless on every level, not to mention the insanely low quality of the image used. "I love love" is about as useful as writing, "I enjoy enjoyment" or "Fun is fun." Nice handwriting, too. Perhaps instead of wasting time loving love, you should start trying to love penmanship.

The trick is to keep breathing

Actually, of all the things about being a human, this is the one thing you never have to worry about. Your brain is amazingly adept at keeping you breathing, even after being stabbed, shot, or smashed to the head. It also keeps you breathing through long, boring office meetings, that romantic comedy your wife forced you to go to even though you would have rather seen District 9 and why does she always get to pick the movie anyway? I'm so tired of all these stupid Hugh Grant movies when we could be watching G.I. Joe or at least football or something. And don't get me started on how annoying it is when her sister visits.

So yeah, if you're feeling sarcastic today, here's a whole bunch more.

nextArticle.image_alt|e
Pop Chart Lab
arrow
entertainment
A Visual History of Captain America’s Shields
Pop Chart Lab
Pop Chart Lab

Captain America has gone through plenty of wardrobe changes since his comic book debut in 1941, but it’s his iconic shield that has had the most makeovers. Over the past eight decades, fans have seen the shield change its shape, color, and even the material from which it’s crafted. For the folks at Pop Chart Lab, the shield’s storied history provided the perfect subject matter for their latest poster.

On this piece, the company teamed with Marvel to give a rundown of 50 of Cap’s shields—from the instantly recognizable to the downright obscure. Here we see his classic Golden Age shield, with its slightly different color scheme, and the different variations from Jack Kirby’s time-traveling Bicentennial Battles book. Then there are entries like the vibranium shield he received from Black Panther in Captain America #342 and an adamantium one made by Tony Stark.

Those different shields just scratch the surface of the deep cuts Pop Chart Lab provides. There are also shields from Captain Americas across Marvel’s numerous alternate universes, like the ones used by the Ultimate Universe Steve Rogers and the android Cap from Earth-725.

Each shield is illustrated to match its comic book counterpart and comes with a description specifying the series it debuted in and which Earth it exists on (the Marvel Universe has thousands of different versions of Earth, after all).

The posters will begin shipping on May 23, and you can pre-order yours now starting at $29 on the Pop Chart Lab website. You can check out a full look at the poster below.

Pop Chart Lab's Captain America shield poster
Pop Chart Lab
nextArticle.image_alt|e
Public Domain, Wikimedia Commons
arrow
Art
5 Fast Facts About Tamara de Lempicka
Public Domain, Wikimedia Commons
Public Domain, Wikimedia Commons

Sometimes artists become more known among the general public for their colorful personal lives than for their artwork, no matter how great their contributions to the art world. Such is the case with Polish/American artist Tamara de Lempicka, who was born on this day in 1898. While Google is honoring what would have been her 120th birthday with a Google Doodle,  here are some highlights from her storied life.

1. SHE BEGAN HER "CAREER" AT THE AGE OF 12.

Tamara de Lempicka, who was born Maria Górska, discovered her artistic passion and skill at the age of 12. Lempicka had sat for a famous painter, but hated the resulting portrait, and believed she could do a better job. Thus she created her first painting ever, a portrait of her younger sister Adrienne, with which she was extremely pleased.

2. SHE MET HER HUSBAND WHEN SHE WAS 14 YEARS OLD.

Though she was only 14 years old when she met Taduesz Lempicki, the teenaged Lempicka became determined to marry him. Just a few years later, when she was 17 years old, she married the "modestly well-off lawyer" with a dowry provided by her "millionaire banker uncle." (She hadn't lived with her parents since they divorced when she was a child.)

3. SHE'S MORE FAMOUS FOR HER SEX LIFE THAN HER ART.

 Gallery technicians at Sotheby's auction house lift a painting by Tamara de Lempicka entitled 'Portrait de la Duchesse de la Salle' from 1925, next to another painting by the artist, 'Portrait de Marjorie Ferry' from 1932
Oli Scarff, Getty Images

Although she is considered the most famous Art Deco painter, Lempicka was more famous for her libido than for her art. She was bisexual, and carried on scandalous affairs with both men and women (often her patrons and models). Yet the exact details are somewhat unclear since, according to one source, she "shuffled the facts of her biography as much as she meddled with her birth date"—and she meddled with her birth date quite a bit, even going so far as to reportedly try to pass her daughter off as her sister on occasion.

4. SHE LIVED A LIFE OF LUXURY.

Lempicka lived a life of luxury from childhood. Not only was she born into a wealthy family, her second husband was Baron Kuffner, a wealthy Hungarian baron who had been her patron and lover. Although she initially lost money in 1929 when her bank collapsed, she survived the Great Depression relatively unaffected, painting the portraits of King Alfonso XIII of Spain and Queen Elizabeth of Greece during that time. She had been charging as much as 50,000 French francs per portrait by 1927, which was equivalent to about $2000 then, but would be about 10 times as much today.

5. HER ASHES WERE SCATTERED OVER A VOLCANO.

In 1980, Lempicka passed away in Mexico. Per her request, Lempicka's ashes were scattered over the crater of the volcanic Mount Popocatepetl by her daughter, Kizette.

An earlier version of this post appeared in 2008.

SECTIONS

arrow
LIVE SMARTER
More from mental floss studios