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6 Controversial Christmas Carols

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When you think of Christmas, you probably envision a row of cherry-faced carolers standing on your doorstep, holding candles and swaying to the soft, delicate notes of classic Christmas songs. But at certain points in history, some carols might have gotten those festive vocalists chased out of the neighborhood.

1. Elvis Presley's "White Christmas" (1957)

It seems that every major musical talent falls into the trap of doing a Christmas album, and the King of Rock 'n Roll was no exception. Elvis' 1957 Christmas album caused a huge firestorm of controversy for a man who was already in hot water with every decency and obscenity group in the country—and his rendition of Irvin Berlin's "White Christmas" was at the top of their "To Hate" list. Even Berlin himself, after hearing a recording, ordered that the song be banned from the airwaves. Radio stations refused to play it, and one disc jockey in Portland lost his job for ignoring his station's "White Christmas" embargo. When asked if he'd play the song, Los Angeles DJ Dick Whittinghill replied, "That's like having [stripper] Tempest Storm deliver Christmas gifts to my kids."

2. Placide Cappeau de Roquemaure's "O Holy Night" (1847)

One of the most sung and universal Christmas carols actually caused quite a stir when it first hit people's ears around the holidays. Placide Cappeau de Roquemaure, a French poet and commissionaire of wines, was asked by his parish priest in 1847 to write a poem for Christmas mass. The poet was so moved by the words that flowed out of him that he decided to set his poem to music, with help from a musician friend by the name of Adolphe Charles Adams. The song gained popularity, but was banned after Cappeau left the church and leaders learned Adams was Jewish. Despite the edict, people in France continued singing the song, and in the mid-1850s, writer John Sullivan Dwight brought it to America.

3. Billy Joel's "Christmas in Fallujah" (2007)

He had not released an album in 14 years, but Billy Joel returned to the airwaves in 2007 to speak his mind at Christmas time. The artist wrote and produced a rather blunt Christmas tune about U.S. troops stuck in Iraq during the holidays. He told Katie Couric of CBS News that he hoped the Christmas ditty would remind people about the troops and the conflict. Some critics called it an anti-war song and the Pentagon Channel, an Armed Forces TV network, pulled a segment on the song at the last minute for fear of hurting morale. Some individual soldiers told CBS they didn't have a problem with it and were even moved by Joel's lyrics and thoughts.

4. The Charlie Brown Christmas Album (2006 Remix)

charlie-brown-christmasThe classic Charlie Brown Christmas is so loved and revered that any attempt to alter any portion of it will immediately be met with harsh vengeance. That's exactly what happened when the Concord Music Group released a remastered version of the famed Vince Guaraldi Trio's soundtrack to the 1965 CBS Christmas special. Fans with mosquito-like hearing noticed some major discrepancies in the tracks, including alternate takes, noise reduction, and outright sound manipulation through digital technology. The backlash became so heavy that CMG offered customers a replacement disc.

5. John Lennon's "Happy Xmas (War Is Over)" (1971)

John Lennon tried to recapture the spirit of the peace movement with "Happy Xmas (War Is Over)." The song, based on a billboard campaign he and his wife Yoko Ono ran around the world, raised some ire for combining anti-Vietnam sentiments with Christmas tunes, but it would later be one of the artist's last hit singles. Years later, after Lennon's assassination in 1980, the song made the Billboard chart.

6. Christmas in the Stars: The Star Wars Christmas Album (1980)

Maybe not controversial, but we've included this entire album for just being awful. If you're already familiar with the eye-bleeding badness of The Star Wars Holiday Special, then this musical attempt to cash in on Star Wars at Christmas shouldn't require any personal reviewing to confirm any critique. The album featured such spacey themes as "R2D2's Sleigh Ride" and "What Can You Get a Wookiee for Christmas (When He Already Owns a Comb?)" The fact that it features Jon Bon Jovi's first recorded musical performance might make you wish R2D2 had never stopped that trash compactor in the first place.

Danny Gallagher is a freelance writer, reporter and humorist living in Texas. He can be found on the web at dannygallagher.net, on MySpace and on Twitter.

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Man Buys Two Metric Tons of LEGO Bricks; Sorts Them Via Machine Learning
May 21, 2017
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iStock // Ekaterina Minaeva

Jacques Mattheij made a small, but awesome, mistake. He went on eBay one evening and bid on a bunch of bulk LEGO brick auctions, then went to sleep. Upon waking, he discovered that he was the high bidder on many, and was now the proud owner of two tons of LEGO bricks. (This is about 4400 pounds.) He wrote, "[L]esson 1: if you win almost all bids you are bidding too high."

Mattheij had noticed that bulk, unsorted bricks sell for something like €10/kilogram, whereas sets are roughly €40/kg and rare parts go for up to €100/kg. Much of the value of the bricks is in their sorting. If he could reduce the entropy of these bins of unsorted bricks, he could make a tidy profit. While many people do this work by hand, the problem is enormous—just the kind of challenge for a computer. Mattheij writes:

There are 38000+ shapes and there are 100+ possible shades of color (you can roughly tell how old someone is by asking them what lego colors they remember from their youth).

In the following months, Mattheij built a proof-of-concept sorting system using, of course, LEGO. He broke the problem down into a series of sub-problems (including "feeding LEGO reliably from a hopper is surprisingly hard," one of those facts of nature that will stymie even the best system design). After tinkering with the prototype at length, he expanded the system to a surprisingly complex system of conveyer belts (powered by a home treadmill), various pieces of cabinetry, and "copious quantities of crazy glue."

Here's a video showing the current system running at low speed:

The key part of the system was running the bricks past a camera paired with a computer running a neural net-based image classifier. That allows the computer (when sufficiently trained on brick images) to recognize bricks and thus categorize them by color, shape, or other parameters. Remember that as bricks pass by, they can be in any orientation, can be dirty, can even be stuck to other pieces. So having a flexible software system is key to recognizing—in a fraction of a second—what a given brick is, in order to sort it out. When a match is found, a jet of compressed air pops the piece off the conveyer belt and into a waiting bin.

After much experimentation, Mattheij rewrote the software (several times in fact) to accomplish a variety of basic tasks. At its core, the system takes images from a webcam and feeds them to a neural network to do the classification. Of course, the neural net needs to be "trained" by showing it lots of images, and telling it what those images represent. Mattheij's breakthrough was allowing the machine to effectively train itself, with guidance: Running pieces through allows the system to take its own photos, make a guess, and build on that guess. As long as Mattheij corrects the incorrect guesses, he ends up with a decent (and self-reinforcing) corpus of training data. As the machine continues running, it can rack up more training, allowing it to recognize a broad variety of pieces on the fly.

Here's another video, focusing on how the pieces move on conveyer belts (running at slow speed so puny humans can follow). You can also see the air jets in action:

In an email interview, Mattheij told Mental Floss that the system currently sorts LEGO bricks into more than 50 categories. It can also be run in a color-sorting mode to bin the parts across 12 color groups. (Thus at present you'd likely do a two-pass sort on the bricks: once for shape, then a separate pass for color.) He continues to refine the system, with a focus on making its recognition abilities faster. At some point down the line, he plans to make the software portion open source. You're on your own as far as building conveyer belts, bins, and so forth.

Check out Mattheij's writeup in two parts for more information. It starts with an overview of the story, followed up with a deep dive on the software. He's also tweeting about the project (among other things). And if you look around a bit, you'll find bulk LEGO brick auctions online—it's definitely a thing!

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8 Common Dog Behaviors, Decoded
May 25, 2017
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Dogs are a lot more complicated than we give them credit for. As a result, sometimes things get lost in translation. We’ve yet to invent a dog-to-English translator, but there are certain behaviors you can learn to read in order to better understand what your dog is trying to tell you. The more tuned-in you are to your dog’s emotions, the better you’ll be able to respond—whether that means giving her some space or welcoming a wet, slobbery kiss. 

1. What you’ll see: Your dog is standing with his legs and body relaxed and tail low. His ears are up, but not pointed forward. His mouth is slightly open, he’s panting lightly, and his tongue is loose. His eyes? Soft or maybe slightly squinty from getting his smile on.

What it means: “Hey there, friend!” Your pup is in a calm, relaxed state. He’s open to mingling, which means you can feel comfortable letting friends say hi.

2. What you’ll see: Your dog is standing with her body leaning forward. Her ears are erect and angled forward—or have at least perked up if they’re floppy—and her mouth is closed. Her tail might be sticking out horizontally or sticking straight up and wagging slightly.

What it means: “Hark! Who goes there?!” Something caught your pup’s attention and now she’s on high alert, trying to discern whether or not the person, animal, or situation is a threat. She’ll likely stay on guard until she feels safe or becomes distracted.

3. What you’ll see: Your dog is standing, leaning slightly forward. His body and legs are tense, and his hackles—those hairs along his back and neck—are raised. His tail is stiff and twitching, not swooping playfully. His mouth is open, teeth are exposed, and he may be snarling, snapping, or barking excessively.

What it means: “Don’t mess with me!” This dog is asserting his social dominance and letting others know that he might attack if they don’t defer accordingly. A dog in this stance could be either offensively aggressive or defensively aggressive. If you encounter a dog in this state, play it safe and back away slowly without making eye contact.

4. What you’ll see: As another dog approaches, your dog lies down on his back with his tail tucked in between his legs. His paws are tucked in too, his ears are flat, and he isn’t making direct eye contact with the other dog standing over him.

What it means: “I come in peace!” Your pooch is displaying signs of submission to a more dominant dog, conveying total surrender to avoid physical confrontation. Other, less obvious, signs of submission include ears that are flattened back against the head, an avoidance of eye contact, a tongue flick, and bared teeth. Yup—a dog might bare his teeth while still being submissive, but they’ll likely be clenched together, the lips opened horizontally rather than curled up to show the front canines. A submissive dog will also slink backward or inward rather than forward, which would indicate more aggressive behavior.

5. What you’ll see: Your dog is crouching with her back hunched, tail tucked, and the corner of her mouth pulled back with lips slightly curled. Her shoulders, or hackles, are raised and her ears are flattened. She’s avoiding eye contact.

What it means: “I’m scared, but will fight you if I have to.” This dog’s fight or flight instincts have been activated. It’s best to keep your distance from a dog in this emotional state because she could attack if she feels cornered.

6. What you’ll see: You’re staring at your dog, holding eye contact. Your dog looks away from you, tentatively looks back, then looks away again. After some time, he licks his chops and yawns.

What it means: “I don’t know what’s going on and it’s weirding me out.” Your dog doesn’t know what to make of the situation, but rather than nipping or barking, he’ll stick to behaviors he knows are OK, like yawning, licking his chops, or shaking as if he’s wet. You’ll want to intervene by removing whatever it is causing him discomfort—such as an overly grabby child—and giving him some space to relax.

7. What you’ll see: Your dog has her front paws bent and lowered onto the ground with her rear in the air. Her body is relaxed, loose, and wiggly, and her tail is up and wagging from side to side. She might also let out a high-pitched or impatient bark.

What it means: “What’s the hold up? Let’s play!” This classic stance, known to dog trainers and behaviorists as “the play bow,” is a sign she’s ready to let the good times roll. Get ready for a round of fetch or tug of war, or for a good long outing at the dog park.

8. What you’ll see: You’ve just gotten home from work and your dog rushes over. He can’t stop wiggling his backside, and he may even lower himself into a giant stretch, like he’s doing yoga.

What it means: “OhmygoshImsohappytoseeyou I love you so much you’re my best friend foreverandeverandever!!!!” This one’s easy: Your pup is overjoyed his BFF is back. That big stretch is something dogs don’t pull out for just anyone; they save that for the people they truly love. Show him you feel the same way with a good belly rub and a handful of his favorite treats.

The best way to say “I love you” in dog? A monthly subscription to BarkBox. Your favorite pup will get a package filled with treats, toys, and other good stuff (and in return, you’ll probably get lots of sloppy kisses). Visit BarkBox to learn more.

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