The Quick 10: 10 Names the Seven Dwarves Could Have Had

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There have been numerous jokes over the years as to what Snow White's sidekicks should have been named, but these were really options! The original fairytale left the dwarves nameless; theater productions over the years either followed that tradition or made up random names such as Quee and Glick. But Disney wanted his dwarves' names to reflect their physical and character traits. Just think how different the movie might have been if Snow White's most lovable little buddy had been named Dirty. Hmm.

6238-seven-dwarves1. Chesty. This just has "wrong" written all over it.
2. Deafy. Deafy also made it into a draft and his character was described in a manner that would probably make the American Society for the Deaf cringe:
"Deafy is a happy sort of fellow - he always tries to make clever remarks, but he misinterprets other people's attitudes toward him. He feels, lots of times, that they are saying something about him, or that they have made some remarks, which they haven't at all - he takes exception to the most ridiculous things. Throughout the picture Deafy and Gordon are always clashing. Deafy will pick up one word of the conversation in the early part, and whereas the conversation topic might have changed completely, he still sticks to the first thing that he heard, and in this way we hope to get some comical situations out of Deafy."
3. Tipsy. A drunken dwarf may have sent the wrong message to children.
4. Titsy. Umm...

5. Jumpy. Jumpy almost made the cut, but was replaced by Sneezy at the last minute. You can read about his character in an early draft of the film, though:

"He is in constant twitchy fear of being goosed, but is not goosed until the last scene. Whenever he hears a noise behind him, he starts, and his hand automatically protects his fanny. He is also exceedingly ticklish."

6. Dirty.

7. Sleazy. You have to agree that with dwarves named Chesty, Tipsy, Titsy, Dirty and Sleazy, this animated children's movie would have sounded a lot more like a XXX porn.

8. Jaunty. I laughed out loud to think of the personification of a dwarf named jaunty.

9. Awful. Poor Awful sounds like he really earned his name. In this 1935 draft, he is portrayed as being a pathetic character who is convinced by his fellow dwarves that he is evil and immoral:

He most loveable and interesting of the dwarf characterisations. He steals and drinks and is very dirty. The other dwarfs have impressed on him that he is a soul beyond redemption. This fact he never questions. He feels powerless against the evil in him and accepts his damnation cheerfully. He is the perpetual fall guy for the others. He is blamed and punished for everything that goes wrong and, even when punished for somebody else's misdeed, he takes his medicine with a cheerful "I deserve it."

10. Hickey.

Definitely some questionable choices there. In the end, I think I'm glad Disney stuck with Happy, Sneezy, Sleepy, Dopey, Doc, Grumpy and Bashful. Can you think of any particularly awful names for Snow White's cohorts? You can't do much worse than some of these!

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October 6, 2009 - 11:30am
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