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10 Names the Seven Dwarves Could Have Had

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Loren Javier, Flickr // CC BY-NC-ND 2.0

There have been numerous jokes over the years as to what Snow White's sidekicks should have been named, but the following 10 were actually options. The original fairytale left the dwarves nameless; theater productions over the years have either followed that tradition or made up random names, such as Quee and Glick. But Disney wanted his dwarves' names to reflect their physical and character traits. Just think how different the movie might have been if Snow White's most lovable little buddy had been named Dirty. Hmm.

1. CHESTY

This just has "wrong" written all over it.

2. DEAFY

Deafy also made it into a draft and his character was described in a manner that would probably make the American Society for the Deaf cringe:

"Deafy is a happy sort of fellow—he always tries to make clever remarks, but he misinterprets other people's attitudes toward him. He feels, lots of times, that they are saying something about him, or that they have made some remarks, which they haven't at all—he takes exception to the most ridiculous things. Throughout the picture Deafy and Gordon are always clashing. Deafy will pick up one word of the conversation in the early part, and whereas the conversation topic might have changed completely, he still sticks to the first thing that he heard, and in this way we hope to get some comical situations out of Deafy."

3. TIPSY

A drunken dwarf may have sent the wrong message to children.

4. TITSY

Umm...

5. JUMPY

Jumpy almost made the cut, but was replaced by Sneezy at the last minute. You can read about his character in an early draft of the film, though:

"He is in constant twitchy fear of being goosed, but is not goosed until the last scene. Whenever he hears a noise behind him, he starts, and his hand automatically protects his fanny. He is also exceedingly ticklish."

6. DIRTY

Pretty self-explanatory.
 
7. SLEAZY

You have to agree that with dwarves named Chesty, Tipsy, Titsy, Dirty and Sleazy, this animated children's movie would have sounded a lot more … adult.

8. JAUNTY

I laughed out loud to think of the personification of a dwarf named jaunty.

9. AWFUL

Poor Awful sounds like he really earned his name. In this 1935 draft, he is portrayed as being a pathetic character who is convinced by his fellow dwarves that he is evil and immoral:

"The most loveable and interesting of the dwarf characterisations. He steals and drinks and is very dirty. The other dwarfs have impressed on him that he is a soul beyond redemption. This fact he never questions. He feels powerless against the evil in him and accepts his damnation cheerfully. He is the perpetual fall guy for the others. He is blamed and punished for everything that goes wrong and, even when punished for somebody else's misdeed, he takes his medicine with a cheerful 'I deserve it.'"

10. HICKEY

Definitely some questionable choices there. In the end, I think I'm glad Disney stuck with Happy, Sleepy, Dopey, Doc, Grumpy and Bashful. Can you think of any particularly awful names for Snow White's cohorts? You can't do much worse than some of these!

This piece originally ran in 2009.

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A Physicist Weighs In On Whether Scrooge McDuck Could Actually Swim in a Pool of Gold Coins
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Batman has the Batcave, Superman has his Fortress of Solitude, and Scrooge McDuck has his money bin. For 70 years, the maternal uncle of Disney’s Donald Duck has been portrayed as a thrifty—some might say miserly—presence in cartoons and comics, a waterfowl who has such deep affection for his fortune that he enjoys diving into his piles of gold and luxuriating in them.

It’s a rather gross display of money worship, but is it practical? Can anyone, including an anthropomorphic Pekin duck, actually swim in their own money, or would diving headfirst into a pile of metal result only in catastrophic injury?

According to James Kakalios, Ph.D., a professor of physics at the University of Minnesota and author of the recently-released The Physics of Everyday Things as well as 2005’s The Physics of Superheroes, the question really isn’t whether someone could swim in a mass of gold. They could not. It’s more a matter of how badly they’ll be injured in the attempt.

Diving into a gold pile the Scrooge way—hands first, prayer-style, followed by your head—is the most efficient way to begin breaking bones. “Keeping his arms stiff and his elbows rigid, he’s definitely going to break his wrists,” Kakalios tells Mental Floss. “Gold is a granular material like sand, a macroscopic object. You can’t swim through sand or dive into it easily.” Launch yourself off a diving board from 3 or 4 feet up and you will meet a solid surface. Landing with your feet, a far better bet, is unlikely to result in injury—provided you try to bend your knees.

In that sense, diving into gold is not dissimilar from “diving” into a concrete floor. But with gold being granular, it might be possible to break the surface and “swim” if the friction were low enough. “A ball pit is a good example,” Kakalios says. “The balls are lightly packed and have low friction relative to one another. The key is to have objects in front of you move out of the way in order to advance.”

Despite being a fictional character, McDuck hasn’t totally ignored the impossible physics of his feat. His creator, Carl Barks, has written in repeated references over the years to the implausibility of using his money vault as a swimming pool and has depicted the villainous Beagle Boys trio as getting hurt when they tried to emulate the stunt. Scrooge smirked and said there was a “trick” to making the gold dive.

That’s led to one fan theory that McDuck has used his fortune to coat the gold coins in some kind of lubricant that would aid in reducing friction, allowing him to maneuver inside the vault. Ludicrous, yes. But is it possible? “You would need a massive amount of lube to slide your body past the coins with minimal effort,” Kakalios says. “The ball pit is easier because the weight of the elements is low. Gold is a very dense material.” Diving and swimming into it, even with lubricant, might be analogous to trying to shove your hand into a deep bowl of M&Ms, he says. “M&Ms have a low friction coating. Continuing to move is really the problem.”

Presuming McDuck could somehow maneuver himself deeper into the pile, his delicate duck bones would almost surely succumb to the crushing weight of the gold above him. By one estimate, diving under one of his 5-foot-tall gold piles would put 2492 pounds of pressure on his bill.

We'll see if he tips his top hat to any further gold-diving tricks—or if he's in a full-body cast—when Disney XD relaunches DuckTales this summer.

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There Will Be Plenty of Easter Eggs in DuckTales
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Disney XD/Disney XD - © 2016 Disney Enterprises, Inc. All rights reserved

Call them duck eggs. In an interview with io9.com, producers of Disney XD's new DuckTales reboot have promised fans that the series—which continues the adventures of gold-hoarding Scrooge McDuck and his excitable nephews Huey, Dewey, and Louie—will feature nods to previous incarnations of the characters.

“There’s so much even in what we’ve released already,” executive producer Matt Youngberg said. “There are so many Easter eggs and even some that people haven’t picked up on yet.”

Fans who study the available footage like the Zapruder film may have spotted paintings in the background that are beautifully reminiscent of Carl Barks, the celebrated illustrator who created Scrooge and drew many of his comic book adventures, as well as the eight-bit theme to the original Nintendo game. There will also be nods to the previous series, the games, and other DuckTales-related media. That, Youngberg said, is because not everyone has had quite the same DuckTales experience.

“A lot of people watched the cartoon,” he said. “There’s also the comics, the international comics, the video game, the old Disney duck cartoons. There’s so much to draw from. We want to try to put that all together in a version that speaks to everyone.”

Already, fans have been quacking (sorry) about the inclusion of Darkwing Duck, the cloaked lead of the 1990s series of the same name. The new DuckTales has a one-hour film premiering August 12, with the series debuting September 23.

[h/t io9]

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