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The Queen Owns The Swans (And Other Swan Stories)

Uneasy lies the head that wears the crown, at least when it comes to the British monarchy: In addition to being the reigning queen of 16 Commonwealth realms and the Paramount Chief of Fiji, engaging in regular consultation with whichever Prime Minister is in power at the time, and dealing with the odd scandal stirred up by an errant royal relative, the Queen is also the owner and caretaker of Britain's swans.

Even though she doesn't exactly have to take care of them herself "“ swans, those ill-tempered behemoths of the bird world, largely take care of themselves, subsisting on tossed bread and plastic bags, and plus, she's got people who do that sort of thing "“ the Queen does own the swans. And about two weeks ago, Queen Elizabeth II became the first known monarch to take part in what's called the Swan Upping, the annual counting of her royal brood of swans and a tradition that goes back more than nine centuries.

In (belated) honor of that momentous occasion, we've put together a post on the strangeness of being a royal bird:

About Swans

romeo-julietSo, swans are part of the same fowl family as geese and ducks; there are about six species in the swan genus, including the mute swan, North America's trumpeter swan, and the whooper swan. Boys are cobs, girls are pens, and the young are called cygnets; swans also, famously, mate for life, although they can break up. There is also evidence that swans will also form long-lasting same sex pairs: Animal behaviorists estimate that a quarter of Australian black swan families are parented by "homosexual" couples, with a male swan sometimes mating with female, then chasing her away once the eggs have hatched. Romeo and Juliet, the famous swan couple in Boston's Public Garden (pictured), are both female.

There are a number of names for a group of swans: a bevy, a bank, a team, a brood, a flock, a game, and, covering a few of the senses in a poetic sort of a way, a sownding, a whiting, or a lamentation.

Seriously, does the Queen actually own the swans?

Why, yes she does. The first documented mention of the royal swan prerogative was in 1186, however, there is some evidence to suggest that the bird was royal property even before then. In 1482, that status was legally defined by the Act of Swans, and anyone who was not the king or given permission caught with a swan could face imprisonment. Royal ownership of the swans was primarily derived from the belief that swans, especially cygnets and young swans, were tasty.

But the Crowned Head of Britain doesn't own all of the swans "“ over time, individual kings and queens have given away rights to swans as a way to show favor to allies. Currently, there are three other entities who have a right to the swans: The Dyers' livery company (an historic guild of dyers), the Vintners' livery company (an historic guild of wine merchants), and the Ilchester family. Each of these at one point marked their swans by notching, or carving marks into the birds' beaks.

The Queen can also give away her own swans to whomever she sees fit; in 1967, she presented six swans to the Canadian city of Ottawa to celebrate its 100th birthday and Canada's ties to England. In 2007, however, the city faced budget cuts which forced the city council to think about "regifting" the many descendants of those original swans, rather than build them a $500,000 (Canadian) new home to replace the crumbling old swan house (which animal rights activists were cleverly calling "Swantanamo Bay").

At various points in British legal history, would-be swan hunters have challenged the Crown's royal right to swans and, with a few notable exceptions, the law has sided with the monarchy. In 1910, a lawyer from the Orkney Isles decided to test the Crown's ownership of the swans by going out in to Harray Loch and shooting one. The case went to the High Court, where it was decided against the Crown, owing to the fact that the Orkney Isles are still governed by some holdovers from old Norse Udal law, under which the swans belong to the people.

Swan Master!

There is an actual person who bears the title "Swan Master" or perhaps more properly but far less fun, the swan warden. Back in the day "“ and not even that far back in the day, most likely even into the 20th century "“ his job would have been to round up the most promising of the cygnets for a good fattening up before the banquet table. Nowadays, however, the swan master's primary job is to maintain the health and safety of the Queen's swans and to count them every year in a tradition called Swan Upping.

dl5During the Upping, as they've done for roughly 900 years, men row boats up and down the Thames, stopping to mark, check and count the birds, and enjoying long lunches with much ale at riverside pubs. This year, the Queen "“ in a lovely peach hat topped with a feather (not a swan feather, mind you), and matching peach suit "“ followed the rowboats on a steam barge and was introduced to much of the arcane trivia around the birds.

In the 1980s, petrochemicals, lead fishing weights and other pollution contributed to the declining populations of swans on the Thames; now, however, the swan population has rebounded significantly and each year, Swan Uppers count around 1000 birds. These join the some 43,000 birds that winter in Britain each year.

Meat parfait and other tasty swan dishes

Royals initially kept swans for food, though the birds tended to be reserved for banquets and feasts. Reports on the flavor of swan vary greatly, from being tough, chewy and fishy, to being a bit like goose-flavored venison "“ some people, like famous 15th century diarist Samuel Pepys, evidently was a fan, while others not so much. (And, as an aside, according to an 1877 New York Times article on cooking and eating swans, poets and writers have got it wrong: Mute swans, when dying, do not sing.)

During Elizabeth I's reign, swan was a popular feast dish, especially when it was stuffed with the carcasses of nine other birds "“ this is turducken on a very grand scale. According to historians, the swan roast contained, in nesting doll descending order, a goose, a duck, a mallard, a chicken, pheasant, partridge, pigeon and a woodcock, and could feed 30 people. For a most ostentatious presentation, the swan would be skinned, and the skin, with feathers still attached, would be set aside. The swan would then be packed with the other birds and stuffing and cooked, before being redressed in its feathery coat and served.

12turkeys

Inspired by the Tudor and Elizabethan recipes, a British chef recently made her own fowl parfait, stuffing a massive turkey with 48 other birds of 12 different species. This hot bird-on-bird action contains 50,000 calories, takes more than eight hours to cook and serves 125 people.

Though it's generally fallen out of favor and tends to be illegal for many, people still, on some very rare occasions, eat swans. But before you try, note that in England at least, you could very well be arrested: Back in the day, the offense was called "swanage," the killing and eating of swans by unauthorized persons; now, since wild swans are also protected under the Wildlife and Countryside Act of 1981, which prohibits the intentional killing or harming of the animals, it's just called a felony.

Every once in awhile, people run into trouble with swans. After finding the carcass of a whooping swan that had died after getting caught in some power lines, Sir Peter Maxwell Davies, composer to the Queen, decided to cook it up and eat it. He was caught by officers who spotted part of the swan's body hanging in his garden and told that he could face charges (he didn't).

In 2003, a man in Llandudno, Wales, was sentenced to two months in prison after killing a mute swan. According to reports, the man was a Muslim on his last day of fasting for Ramadan and may have gone a bit hunger-mad. He saw the swan in a pond and either stabbed it or bit it through the neck; at the time he was caught, carrying the dead swan in a grocery bag, he had blood and feathers in his beard. When confronted in court with the fact that killing swans, especially swans belonging to the Queen is illegal, the man allegedly replied, "I hate the Queen, I hate this country."

Then there was a case of protest swan-eating: In 2007, a vegetarian artist ate a cooked swan to protest the royal ownership of the swans. Mark McGowan, a controversial artist who once nailed his feet to a gallery wall, faced death threats from animal rights groups before eating the swan, which had been found dead on a West Country farm. McGowan, perhaps contrary to his intent, was not arrested.

And finally, alleged swan-poaching: The Sun, that venerable old British tabloid, claimed in 2003 that police had arrested asylum seekers who were poaching and roasting swans. After several complaints about the authenticity "“ and indeed, the subtle racism "“ of the story, The Sun admitted that no such arrests had taken place, but maintained that the word on the street was that Eastern European refugees were snatching and eating the birds. These stories bear a striking resemblance to stories (read: urban legends) from other immigrant rich parts of the world, in which the bumpkin newcomers, seeing no reason not to, trap and eat ornamental birds like ducks and geese.

While you can't hunt swan in Britain, you can in the States, provided, of course you have the appropriate license. And if you're so inclined, you can also purchase swan meat, at around a $1000 per swan, from a dealer in the US at 1-800-steaks.com.

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8 Things We Know About Stranger Things Season 3
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[Warning: There are lots of Stranger Things season two spoilers ahead.]

Stranger Things season two is in the books, and like we all hoped, it turned out to be a worthy follow-up to an addictive debut season. Now, though, we’re left with plenty of questions, mysteries, and theories to chew on as the wait for a third season begins. But for everything we don’t know about what the next year of Stranger Things will bring us (such as an actual release date), there are more than enough things we do know to keep those fan theories coming well into 2018. While the show hasn't been officially greenlit for a third season by Netflix yet, new details have already begun to trickle out. Here’s everything we know about Stranger Things season three so far.

1. THERE WILL BE ANOTHER TIME JUMP.

The third season of Stranger Things won’t pick up right where the second one left off. Like the show experienced between the first two seasons, there will be a time jump between seasons two and three as well. The reason is simple: the child actors are all growing up, and instead of having the kids look noticeably older without explanation for year three, the Duffer Brothers told The Hollywood Reporter:

“Our kids are aging. We can only write and produce the show so fast. They're going to be almost a year older by the time we start shooting season three. It provides certain challenges. You can't start right after season two ended. It forces you to do a time jump. But what I like is that it makes you evolve the show. It forces the show to evolve and change, because the kids are changing.”

2. THE IDEA IS TO BE SMALLER IN SCALE.

If the series’s second season was about expanding the Stranger Things mythology, the third season won't go bigger just for the sake of it, with the brothers even going so far as to say that it will be a more intimate story.

“It’s not necessarily going to be bigger in scale,” Matt Duffer said in an interview with IndieWire. “What I am really excited about is giving these characters an interesting journey to go on.”

Ross Duffer did stress, though, that as of early November, season three is basically “… Matt and me working with some writers and figuring out where it’s going to go.”

3. THE MIND FLAYER WILL BE BACK.

The second season ended on a bit of a foreboding note when it was revealed that the Mind Flayer was still in the Upside Down and was seen looming over the Hawkins school as the winter dance was going on. Though we know there will be a time jump at the start of next season, it’s clear that the monster will still have a big presence on the show.

Executive producer Dan Cohen told TV Guide: "There were other ways we could have ended beyond that, but I think that was a very strong, lyrical ending, and it really lets us decide to focus where we ultimately are going to want to go as we dive into Season 3."

What does the Mind Flayer’s presence mean for the new crop of episodes? Well, there will be plenty of fan theories to ponder between now and the season three premiere (whenever that may be).

4. PLENTY OF LEFTOVER SEASON TWO STORYLINES WILL BE IN SEASON THREE.

The Duffer Brothers had a lot of material for the latest season of the show—probably a bit too much. Talking to Vulture, Matt Duffer detailed a few details and plot points that had to be pushed to season three:

"Billy was supposed to have a bigger role. We ended up having so many characters it ended up, in a way, more teed up for season three than anything. There was a whole teen supernatural story line that just got booted because it was just too cluttered, you know? A lot of that’s just getting kicked into season three."

The good news is that he also told the site that this wealth of cut material could make the writing process for the third season much quicker.

5. THERE WILL BE MORE ERICA.

Stranger Things already had a roster of fan-favorite characters heading into season two, but newcomer Erica, Lucas’s little sister, may have overshadowed them all. Played by 11-year-old Priah Ferguson, Erica is equal parts expressive, snarky, and charismatic. And the Duffer Brothers couldn’t agree more, saying that there will be much more Erica next season.

“There will definitely be more Erica in Season 3,” Ross Duffer told Yahoo!. “That is the fun thing about the show—you discover stuff as you’re filming. We were able to integrate more of her in, but not as much you want because the story [was] already going. ‘We got to use more Erica’—that was one of the first things we said in the writers’ room.”

“I thought she’s very GIF-able, if that’s a word,” Matt Duffer added. “She was great.”

6. EXPECT KALI TO RETURN.

The season two episode “The Lost Sister” was a bit of an outlier for the series. It’s a standalone episode that focuses solely on the character Eleven, leaving the central plot and main cast of Hawkins behind. As well-received as Stranger Things season two was, this episode was a near-unanimous miss among fans and critics.

The episode did, however, introduce us to the character of Kali (Linnea Berthelsen), who has the ability to manipulate people’s minds with illusions she creates. Despite the reaction, the Duffers felt the episode was vital to Eleven’s development, and that Kali won’t be forgotten moving forward.

“It feels weird to me that we wouldn’t solve [Kali’s] storyline. I would say chances are very high she comes back,” Matt Duffer said at the Vulture Festival.

7. OTHER "NUMBERS" MIGHT SHOW UP.

We're already well acquainted with Eleven, and season two introduced us to Eight (a.k.a. Kali), and executive producer Shawn Levy heavily hinted to E! that there are probably more Hawkins Laboratory experiments on the horizon.

"I think we've clearly implied there are other numbers, and I can't imagine that the world will only ever know Eleven and Eight," Levy said.

8. THERE MIGHT NOT BE MANY SEASONS LEFT.

Don’t be in too much of a rush to find out everything about the next season of Stranger Things; there might not be many more left. The Duffer Brothers have said in the past that the plan is to do four seasons and end it. However, Levy gave fans a glimmer of hope that things may go on a little while longer—just by a bit, though.

“Hearts were heard breaking in Netflix headquarters when the Brothers made four seasons sound like an official end, and I was suddenly getting phone calls from our actors’ agents,” Levy told Entertainment Weekly. “The truth is we’re definitely going four seasons and there’s very much the possibility of a fifth. Beyond that, it becomes I think very unlikely.”

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Why Do Fruitcakes Last So Long?
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Fruitcake is a shelf-stable food unlike any other. One Ohio family has kept the same fruitcake uneaten (except for periodic taste tests) since it was baked in 1878. In Antarctica, a century-old fruitcake discovered in artifacts left by explorer Robert Falcon Scott’s 1910 expedition remains “almost edible,” according to the researchers who found it. So what is it that makes fruitcake so freakishly hardy?

It comes down to the ingredients. Fruitcake is notoriously dense. Unlike almost any other cake, it’s packed chock-full of already-preserved foods, like dried and candied nuts and fruit. All those dry ingredients don’t give microorganisms enough moisture to reproduce, as Ben Chapman, a food safety specialist at North Carolina State University, explained in 2014. That keeps bacteria from developing on the cake.

Oh, and the booze helps. A good fruitcake involves plenty of alcohol to help it stay shelf-stable for years on end. Immediately after a fruitcake cools, most bakers will wrap it in a cheesecloth soaked in liquor and store it in an airtight container. This keeps mold and yeast from developing on the surface. It also keeps the cake deliciously moist.

In fact, fruitcakes aren’t just capable of surviving unspoiled for months on end; some people contend they’re better that way. Fruitcake fans swear by the aging process, letting their cakes sit for months or even years at a stretch. Like what happens to a wine with age, this allows the tannins in the fruit to mellow, according to the Wisconsin bakery Swiss Colony, which has been selling fruitcakes since the 1960s. As it ages, it becomes even more flavorful, bringing out complex notes that a young fruitcake (or wine) lacks.

If you want your fruitcake to age gracefully, you’ll have to give it a little more hooch every once in a while. If you’re keeping it on the counter in advance of a holiday feast a few weeks away, the King Arthur Flour Company recommends unwrapping it and brushing it with whatever alcohol you’ve chosen (brandy and rum are popular choices) every few days. This is called “feeding” the cake, and should happen every week or so.

The aging process is built into our traditions around fruitcakes. In Great Britain, one wedding tradition calls for the bride and groom to save the top tier of a three-tier fruitcake to eat until the christening of the couple’s first child—presumably at least a year later, if not more.

Though true fruitcake aficionados argue over exactly how long you should be marinating your fruitcake in the fridge, The Spruce says that “it's generally recommended that soaked fruitcake should be consumed within two years.” Which isn't to say that the cake couldn’t last longer, as our century-old Antarctic fruitcake proves. Honestly, it would probably taste OK if you let it sit in brandy for a few days.

Have you got a Big Question you'd like us to answer? If so, let us know by emailing us at bigquestions@mentalfloss.com.

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