Greetings That Must be Remembered

Believe it or not, there was a time when you went down to the dime store (yes, there were such things) or drug store and bought greeting cards to send to friends and family for special occasions. You could buy birthday greetings, get well cards, congratulations on your new baby, sympathy cards, and not much else. Now that the internet has made our world into a global marketplace, there are special greetings for occasions you'd have never thought of, in styles that no national distributor would've taken a chance on selling just ten years ago. Many ecards are free, which only forces sellers to raise the quality of greetings worth paying for. Niche greetings are not limited to ecards, either -you can buy paper greetings in a range of styles that would make Grandma's eyes pop. This is by no means an exhaustive, or even representative list, just some greeting sources you may not be familiar with.

Depressing Times holiday cards

Order of St. Nick offers Depressing Times greeting cards for all occasions, because no matter how bad you've got it, someone else is worse off... and you may as well laugh about it instead of crying! The card shown is actually a birthday card. The 5x7 cards are printed on glossy cardstock and are made of 50% recycled fiber.

Some Ecards


Some Ecards uses the tag line "for when you care enough to hit send." These greetings are free, but require registration. This company is right on top of the current buzz, with ecards available now on the topics of the Iranian protests and the death of Michael Jackson, as well as the example you see here. You can also customize cards with your own text, colors, and a huge library of images.

Three Squares Greetings


Three Squares Greetings are cards specially designed to be sent to those who are incarcerated. Some are humorous, many are supportive, and some say the things that you might find really difficult to say in your own words. You can order cards individually online or find them in stores in California.

Wrong Cards


Wrong Cards are "ecards that are wrong for every occasion", but are fine for your friends who have a sense of humor. Subjects range from apologies for every dreadful thing you could have done to the event of zombie attacks. And they are free to send.

Gramkin Paper Studio


Gramkin Paper Studio is an Etsy seller of high-quality printed notecards, stationery, and greeting cards. The greeting cards are slightly rude and somewhat generic, sold in boxed sets with blank interiors so you can customize them to any occasion -or no occasion at all!

Mean Cards


Mean Cards features "stories of daily peril, both real and imagined." Many of these are situations you'll relate to, but have never before seen on a greeting card. Cards are blank inside, and are made of recycled paper.



Wondermark is not specifically a greeting card company, but artist David Malki ! has a store attached to the site where you can find his strange ideas in greeting card form. See what the inside of this card says here. Greetings are printed on premium linen cardstock.

Cute Baby Animals


Amanda Mccall and Ben Schwartz published a book of postcards called Grandma's Dead: Breaking Bad News with Baby Animals.  The removable cards feature distractingly sweet puppies, kittens, and other fuzzy critters to mitigate the news that you are having an affair, think the recipient is too fat, or that you may have given the recipient an STD. Some reviewers recommend buying two copies, so you can send the cards and keep a book for yourself. Get a preview of some of the cards here.

See? Now there is no excuse for sending anyone a boring greeting.

Cory Doctorow, Flickr // CC BY-SA 2.0
Pop Culture
When MAD Magazine Got in Trouble for Printing Counterfeit Money
Cory Doctorow, Flickr // CC BY-SA 2.0
Cory Doctorow, Flickr // CC BY-SA 2.0

MAD magazine has always prided itself on being a subversive, counter-culture presence. Since its founding in 1952, many celebrated comedians have credited the publication with forming their irreverent sense of humor, and scholars have noted that it has regularly served as a primer for young readers on how to question authority. That attitude frequently brought the magazine to the attention of the FBI, who kept a file on its numerous perceived infractions—like offering readers a "draft dodger" card or providing tips on writing an effective extortion letter.

The magazine's "Usual Gang of Idiots" outdid themselves in late 1967, though, when issue #115 featured what was clearly a phony depiction of U.S. currency. In addition to being valued at $3—a denomination unrecognized by the government—it featured the dim-witted face of MAD mascot Alfred E. Neuman.

The infamous $3 bill published in a 1967 issue of 'Mad' magazine
MAD Magazine

When taken at its moronic face value, there was absolutely no way anyone with any sense could have confused the bill for actual money. But what MAD hadn't accounted for was that a machine might do exactly that. Around the time of the issue's release, automated coin change machines were beginning to pop up around the country. Used in laundromats, casinos, and other places where someone needed coins rather than bills, people would feed their dollars into the unit and receive an equal amount of change in return.

At that time, these machines were not terribly sophisticated. And as a few enterprising types discovered, they didn't have the technology to really tell Alfred E. Neuman's face from George Washington's. In Las Vegas and Texas, coin unit operators were dismayed to discover that people had been feeding the phony MAD bill into the slots and getting actual money in return.

How frequently this happened isn't detailed in any source we could locate. But in 1995, MAD editor Al Feldstein, who guided the publication from its origins as a slim comic book to netting 2.7 million readers per issue, told The Comics Journal that it was enough to warrant a visit from the U.S. Treasury Department.

"We had published a three-dollar bill as some part of an article in the early days of MAD, and it was working in these new change machines which weren't as sensitive as they are now, and they only read the face," Feldstein said. "They didn't read the back. [The Treasury Department] demanded the artwork and said it was counterfeit money. So Bill [Gaines, the publisher] thought this whole thing was ridiculous, but here, take it, here's a printing of a three-dollar bill."

Feldstein later elaborated on the incident in a 2002 email interview with author Al Norris. "It lacked etched details, machined scrolls, and all of the accouterments of a genuine bill," Feldstein wrote. "But it was, however, freakishly being recognized as a one-dollar bill by the newly-introduced, relatively primitive, technically unsophisticated change machines … and giving back quarters or whatever to anyone who inserted it into one. It was probably the owner of those machines in Las Vegas that complained to the U. S. Treasury Department."

Feldstein went on to say that the government employees demanded the "printing plates" for the bill, but the magazine had already disposed of them. The entire experience, Feldstein said, was "unbelievable."

The visit didn't entirely discourage the magazine from trafficking in fake currency. In 1979, a MAD board game featured a $1,329,063 bill. A few decades later, a "twe" (three) dollar bill was circulated as a promotional item. The bills were slightly smaller than the dimensions of actual money—just in case anyone thought a depiction of Alfred E. Neuman's gap-toothed portrait was evidence of valid U.S. currency.

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Watch 18 Minutes of Julia Louis-Dreyfus Seinfeld Bloopers
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Getty Images

Sometimes you just need to settle in and watch professional actors cracking up, over and over. That's what we have for you today.

In the two videos below, we get a total of 18 minutes of Seinfeld bloopers, specifically focused on Julia Louis-Dreyfus. When Louis-Dreyfus cracks up, Seinfeld can't help but make it worse, goading her. It's delightful.

Sample quote (during an extended break):

Seinfeld: "We won an Emmy, you know."

Louis-Dreyfus: "Yeah, but I didn't."

Her individual Seinfeld Emmy arrived in 1996; the show started winning in 1992. But in September 2017, Louis-Dreyfus—who turns 57 years old today—set a couple of Emmy records when she won her sixth award for playing Selina Meyer on Veep.


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