The genius world was stunned today by allegations that noted poet Emily Dickinson has been using performance enhancing drugs in her quest to win mental_floss's 2009 "Tournament of Genius." Through her publicist, Dickinson made the following statement today: "The murmur of a bee/A witchcraft yielded me./If any ask me why,/'Twere easier to die/Than tell."
Nobody has any idea what that means, but Dickinson has been replaced by ultraconservative commentator Stephen Colbert, whose original omission inspired hundreds of angry emails from his supporters. (OK, two emails, and a comment from someone named Tommy7ft.) Colbert will battle J.K. Rowling today in a first-round matchup of best-selling authors.
Hope this doesn't mess up anybody's office pool.
[See the whole bracket here.]