The Quick 15: The Forbes Fictional 15

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You're probably familiar with the Forbes magazine lists: richest people in the world, most expensive zip codes to live in, best companies to work for. But let it be known that Forbes has a sense of humor, too: last month they announced the Forbes Fictional 15, a list of the 15 richest fictional people of the year. Below is a short summary of their fabulously funny list, but I highly recommend checking out the real thing so you get all of the quips and inside jokes.

1. Uncle Sam. Why? "˜Cause he can print his own money, of course. Net Worth: Infinite.
scrooge2. Scrooge McDuck. Thanks to his famous frugality, he's apparently worth $29.1 billion.
3. Richie Rich. Although he's #3 on the list, he would have been higher had it not been for "ill-timed investments in Web 2.0 start-ups." Net Worth: $12.3 billion.
4. Gordon Gekko. I'm surprised he's not higher on the list, since "restructuring poorly-managed companies" is the name of his game. Maybe he'll hit the top three next year, but his $8.5 billion is nothing to sneeze at.
5. Jabba the Hut. If I were him, I'd probably use some of his $8.4 billion on lipo.
6. Ebenezer Scrooge. "Lifelong bachelor maintains keen interest in paranormal; claims to pick stocks by consulting with "˜Ghost of Christmas Future.'" Gotta love it. Net Worth: $8 billion
7. Tony Stark. I'm kind of surprised that he's only worth $7.9 billion, but apparently the announcement that he was Iron Man made Stark Industries stock plummet.
8. Thurston Howell III. He has offshore assets. Hee. Net Worth: $6.5 billion.
9. Bruce Wayne. "FBI reportedly investigating violations of the Mann Act related to Wayne's longtime habit of keeping teenage boys as "wards." Again: hee. Net Worth: $5.8 billion.
10. Adrian "Ozymandias" Veidt. Who knew? He's the guy behind the ShamWow and the Snuggie! Net Worth: $5.4 billion.
11. Jed Clampett. Lost $1 billion in a Bernie Madoff Ponzi scheme. Net Worth: $3.6 billion.
12. Artemis Fowl II. His wealth is thanks to Irish crime family ties. Net Worth: $1.6 billion.
burns13. C. Montgomery Burns, who would surely be disappointed to know that he didn't even break the top 10. Net Worth: a mere $996 million.
14. Lara Croft. "Spent much of last year buying up Viking rune stones; locals stunned by cultural insensitivity, inappropriate winter attire." I told you Forbes was funny! Net Worth: $900 million.
15. Mr. Monopoly. This one is the best. Rich Uncle Pennybags went totally bankrupt in the 2007 subprime crash, but thanks to Chance and some federal bailout funds from the Community Chest, he made an astounding comeback and started buying "distressed" properties. Net Worth: $800 million.

Love it. But do you think the list is lacking someone? Share your missed moneybags in the comments. (How much is Mr. Pewterschmidt worth, do you think?)

January 29, 2009 - 11:10am
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