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Secrets of Past Elections Revealed! (1996)

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After every presidential election since 1984, Newsweek has printed the best gossipy stories, revealing all the whining and backbiting of America's greatest spectacle. Linda Rodriguez has gone through Newsweek's archives to pick out some memorable moments from recent elections, and we'll be posting her stories throughout the week.

This election saw President Bill Clinton "“ on the heels of several big time scandals, including that whole Gennifer Flowers thing "“ soundly trounce former Senator Bob Dole, even after the senator resigned his position to demonstrate his commitment to the campaign. Texas businessman Ross Perot, who once described himself as "an albino monkey," ran again, this time with more sideshow antics than when he tried in 1992. In the end, Clinton became a second-termer "“ and went on to some even bigger scandals!

Unpredictable, that's Bob Dole

From the outset of his campaign, Bob Dole staffers routinely complained that they didn't know what Dole was going to say at a given speech until he said it, even after he had been carefully groomed, rehearsed, and coached. Dole seemed to take a petulant delight in off-the-cuff remarks "“ like accusing President Clinton of cheating at golf "“ or even flubbing his lines. Dole also liked to prepare for speeches while tanning on hotel roofs and eating chocolate ice cream.

The age factor

One of the biggest perceived differences between Bob Dole and President Bill Clinton was their respective ages. Clinton represented a younger generation, someone who could appeal to the recently named "soccer moms," while Bob Dole was from an era before America had even heard of soccer. When the press asked the two candidates what had been their respective favorite TV shows growing up, Clinton named Bonanza. Dole said TV hadn't been invented yet.

Down and on his way out

Bob Dole's campaign was broke "“ so broke that by the spring of 1996, the campaign was holding rallies in outdoor spaces in order to avoid renting a hall. That wasn't the worst of his troubles "“ after he resigned the senate in a bid to focus on his floundering campaign and to divorce himself from his Washington insider image, reporters started calling his campaign plane, "Citizen's Ship," the "Sinking Ship." Incidentally, the press plane had its own great name "“ the "Bullship."

Slogans are always better when they rhyme

One bumper sticker slogan batted around the Dole camp was luckily shot down: "Our goal, your soul, Bob Dole." Catchy.

Oops

By the time election night rolled around, Bob Dole had largely accepted defeat. Still, he wanted to make sure that California's votes were in and counted before he officially conceded the election. Even that was bungled, however, after a campaign staffer accidentally released Dole's concession statement, which was promptly picked up by all the major networks and reported. The campaign issued a retraction, though it might not have mattered at that point.

The dance of winners!

There was much celebrating in the Clinton camp the night before the election, after Clinton ended his final campaign speech of his elected career. Flying Air Force One back to Little Rock, Clinton entertained the troops by dancing the Macarena.

Previously: 1988, 1984, 1992

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25 Benefits of Adopting a Rescue Dog
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According to the ASPCA, 3.3 million dogs enter shelters each year in the United States. Although that number has gone down since 2011 (from 3.9 million) there are still millions of dogs waiting in shelters for a forever home. October is Adopt a Shelter Dog Month; here are 25 benefits of adopting a shelter dog.

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fun
How Urban Legends Like 'The Licked Hand' Are Born
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If you compare the scary stories you heard as a kid with those of your friends—even those who grew up across the country from you—you’ll probably hear some familiar tales. Maybe you tried to summon Bloody Mary by chanting her name in front of the mirror three times in a dark bathroom. Maybe you learned never to wonder what’s under a woman’s neck ribbon. Maybe you heard the one about the girl who feels her dog lick her hand in the middle of the night, only to wake up to find him hanging dead from the shower nozzle, the words “humans can lick too” written on the wall in the dog’s blood.

These ubiquitous, spooky folk tales exist everywhere, and a lot of them take surprisingly similar forms. How does a single story like the one often called “Humans Can Lick Too” or "The Licked Hand" make its way into every slumber party in America? Thrillist recently investigated the question with a few experts, finding that most of these stories have very deep roots.

In the case of The Licked Hand, its origins go back more than a century. In the 1990s, Snopes found that a similar motif dates back to an Englishman’s diary entry from 1871. In it, the diary keeper, Dearman Birchall, retold a story he heard at a party of a man whose wife woke him up in the middle of the night, urging him to go investigate what sounded like burglars in their home. He told his wife that it was only the dog, reaching out his hand. He felt the dog lick his hand … but in the morning, all his valuables were gone: He had clearly been robbed.

A similar theme shows up in the short story “The Diary of Mr. Poynter,” published in 1919 by M.R. James. In it, a character dozes off in an armchair, and thinks that he is petting his dog. It turns out, it’s some kind of hairy human figure that he flees from. The story seems to have evolved from there into its presently popular form, picking up steam in the 1960s. As with any folk tale, its exact form changes depending on the teller: sometimes the main character is an old lady, other times it’s a young girl.

You’ll probably hear these stories in the context of happening to a “friend of a friend,” making you more likely to believe the tale. It practically happened to someone you know! Kind of! The setting, too, is probably somewhere nearby. It might be in your neighborhood, or down by the local railroad tracks.

Thrillist spoke to Dr. Joseph Stubbersfield, a researcher in the UK who studies urban legends, who says the kind of stories that spread widely contain both social information and emotional resonance. Meaning they contain a message—you never know who’s lurking in your house—and are evocative.

If something is super scary or gross, you want to share it. Stories tend to warn against something: A study of English-language urban legends circulating online found that most warned listeners about the hazards of life (poisonous plants, dangerous animals, dangerous humans) rather than any kind of opportunities. We like to warn each other of the dangers that could be lurking around every corner, which makes sense considering our proven propensity to focus on and learn from negative information. And yes, that means telling each other to watch out for who’s licking our hands in the middle of the night.

Just something to keep in mind as you eagerly await Jezebel’s annual scary story contest.

[h/t Thrillist]

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