10 Holiday Hats: the Silly Side of Thanksgiving

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For some families, the Thanksgiving feast is a sacred and solemn occasion. For others, the holiday is orchestrated by the control freak who insists that everything be picture-perfect. And quite a few families put their personal tensions and passive-aggressiveness on display. The perfect remedy for these uptight feasts is a ridiculous holiday hat.

1. The Gobbler

The Gobbler Hat has it all: a turkey who still has his head, feathers, and his own Pilgrim hat. This hat is so popular that it is sold out at the half-dozen or so suppliers I checked. Maybe next year.

2. Sexy Turkey Hat

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Here's a much fancier (and more feminine) turkey hat.

There are some people, I am told, that have elegant Thanksgiving suppers. Then there are the rest of us.

No, you can't buy it, but you can buy the knitting pattern and make your own by next year.

3. Paper Turkey

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The cheapest way to wear a turkey for Thanksgiving is to make one yourself, out of construction paper, using a children's activity website as a guide. Kids look cute in these. Adults? Maybe not so cute, but you'll draw attention wherever you go.

4. Roast Turkey Hat

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This nice fuzzy plush turkey hat from Miles Kimball will set you back $9.99 but will remind everyone at the dinner table that a) you love roast turkey, and b) you're a real dork.

5. Chef's Hat

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Russ Parsons, food editor of the L.A. Times was recently spotted wearing a similar hat while preparing the fashion inspiration. Note how accurate the color of the hat is!

6. Cold Turkey

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Check out this Cold Turkey Hat modeled by Vicki at Knitorious! This one is called the Cold Turkey hat because Vicki and her friend who made it both quit smoking about the time this picture was taken, but you could whip one up to wear at the dinner table Thursday. Here are complete knitting instructions for a child size hat and an adult-sized hat.

7. Pumpkin Cap

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Turkey isn't the only dish on the menu. Pumpkin pie, pumpkin bread, pumpkin cookies, and a pumpkin cap! This cap is knitted from 100% organic cotton and is available in sizes from infants to adults. For the very few who think cranberry sauce is the best thing about Thanksgiving, you can have a hat, too.

8. Pilgrim Hat

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While half your family is looking forward to pumpkin pie and the other half just want to get back to the football game, someone needs to reference the historical roots of the holiday. What better way than to show up in a deluxe pilgrim hat! In this case, we overlook the fact that the Pilgrims did not wear buckles on their hats; modern day celebrants wouldn't recognize the hat without one.

9. Indian Feathers

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The Native American half of the Plymouth Colony Thanksgiving celebration didn't wear any particular kind of hat you would recognize today, but a few feathers might remind your family and friends who really saved the Pilgrims from complete extinction. I'm not sure why this model is sneering. Maybe he really hates the combination of green and purple.

10. Thanks Cap

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I believe this hat is the most appropriate of all. Simple, fashionable, and it's the only one in this collection that symbolizes what Thanksgiving is really all about.

Yes, I understand that liquor may be more effective at loosening family tensions during the holiday, but funny hats are safer on the highways.

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November 25, 2008 - 2:36am
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