Laser Portraits, and Other Adolescent Humiliations

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Considering the current wave of early-80s nostalgia that's sweeping the nation, especially teenagers who weren't even embryonic in 1981 -- witness the music of Chromeo, the renewed popularity of ironic feathered haircuts, the fevered demand for Marty McFly's shoes and the market share of American Apparel -- it was only a matter of time before the really embarrassing stuff was unearthed. I'm speaking, of course, of laser portraits -- that most 80s of yearbook photos, the laser-beam backdrop which your parents had to pay a few dollars extra for. (That's right; it was usually the kids themselves who wanted it. And now they're paying the real price.)

Apparently the statute of limitations has passed, because people seem to be uploading their embarrassing 80s-era school portraits to the web at an unprecedented rate -- are there are new blogs popping up every day to celebrate them. A personal favorite (thanks, Higgins) is We Have Lasers!!!!!!. Lasered above: Jeffrey.

But there are many more, a quick perusal of which will help us break down the various species of embarrassing portraits. Via Sexy People, there's the always-strange big prop portrait:
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Pictured above: Casey, with Cabbage Patch. (Update: probably NOT a Cabbage Patch.)

I'm not sure this is a style of portrait, but it's definitely a style -- via Rad Dudes:
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Another 80s portrait trend was what I like to call "soft focus with strange gloves" --
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Thanks to Jennifer and Gina, above.

Lest we forget, there's the classic Sears portrait look, where they truck in the background of your choosing -- and usually several, so you have options!
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Above via Sexy People.

We'd love to see your embarrassing adolescent portraits -- especially those with odd backgrounds, props, or other embarrassing anachronisms. Send 'em to flossypics@gmail.com!

November 12, 2008 - 6:15am
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