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What's Your Halloween Giveaway Strategy?

Here's a re-post of a Halloween favorite from last year. Be sure to check out the comments!

Although I haven't gone trick-or-treating for almost two decades, I still remember the greedy delight I took in collecting, cataloging, and ultimately bingeing on Halloween candy each year. Now that I'm officially some sort of grownup, I feel it's important to consider my Halloween Giveaway Strategy -- in other words, fit myself into the landscape of treat givers that I remember from back in the day.

These are the archetypes I remember:

The One Piece of Candy Per Kid Rule (aka The Walter Sobchak "There Are Rules" Approach). This method generally involves a big bowl of "fun size" goodies monitored by a stern taskmaster. Each child follows the universally agreed-upon process of saying "trick or treat?" and his or her hand is allowed to grasp a single treat from the bowl. Any child attempting multiple treats is immediately disciplined/shamed.

The Monty Hall Mom. These folks generally go for a bit more costume-related chat, then offer a "handful" of candy, which makes it a game of skill for kids with little hands. Strategy is key -- using a scooping method can yield more candy than closing your fist around the goodies.

The Absentee Landlord (aka the Leave Me Alone Family). These people leave a tray of stuff by their front door, sometimes with some lame rule (like "take only one, please!") on a sign. Because of the inherent greed issues here (see: tragedy of the commons), the goodies are usually apples or something equally disappointing.

I Got a RockThe Fruit Peddler. I really wish there was some kind of hobo code for kids to identify these houses. At best, you get an apple, tangerine, or box of raisins. At worst, you get a weird lecture about how fruit is better than candy. (On the bright side, when you grow up you'll sort of understand. But you'll never forgive.)

Here's a Nickel, Go Buy Yourself a Clue. These people give you money -- in pitiably small quantities. Perhaps they're hoping you'll start a college fund. In my day the going rate was a nickel. Do kids get quarters now?

The Slightly Unsettling Proselytizer. I only encountered this once, when trick-or-treating in a fancy neighborhood in Sarasota, Florida -- but it has stuck with me. My fellow trick-or-treaters and I were greeted at the door by a smiley couple who gave us full-sized candy bars with Jack Chick tracts wrapped around them.

The "I'm Totally Not Home" Guy. Dude, we see that your TV is on in your otherwise darkened house...couldn't you just leave some candy by the door?!

So let's have it. What's your Halloween Giveaway strategy? And I'm also dying to know: what candy/fruit/money/tracts are you giving away this year?

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Every New Movie, TV Series, and Special Coming to Netflix in May
Netflix
Netflix

Netflix is making way for loads of laughs in its library in May, with a handful of original comedy specials (Steve Martin, Martin Short, Carol Burnett, Tig Notaro, and John Mulvaney will all be there), plus the long-awaited return of Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt. Here’s every new movie, TV series, and special making its way to Netflix in May.

MAY 1

27: Gone Too Soon

A Life of Its Own: The Truth About Medical Marijuana

Amelie

Barbie Dreamhouse Adventures: Season 1

Beautiful Girls

Darc

God's Own Country

Hachi: A Dog's Tale

Harold & Kumar Escape from Guantanamo Bay

Hellboy II: The Golden Army

High School Musical 3: Senior Year

John Mulaney: Kid Gorgeous Live at Radio City

Mr. Woodcock

My Perfect Romance

Pocoyo & Cars

Pocoyo & The Space Circus

Queens of Comedy: Season 1

Reasonable Doubt

Red Dragon

Scream 2

Shrek

Simon: Season 1

Sliding Doors

Sometimes

The Bourne Ultimatum

The Carter Effect

The Clapper

The Reaping

The Strange Name Movie

Yu-Gi-Oh! Arc-V: Season 2

MAY 2

Jailbreak

MAY 4

A Little Help with Carol Burnett

Anon

Busted!: Season 1

Dear White People: Volume 2

End Game

Forgive Us Our Debts

Kong: King of the Apes: Season 2

Manhunt

My Next Guest Needs No Introduction With David Letterman: Tina Fey

No Estoy Loca

The Rain: Season 1

MAY 5

Faces Places

MAY 6

The Joel McHale Show with Joel McHale

MAY 8

Desolation

Hari Kondabolu: Warn Your Relatives

MAY 9

Dirty Girl

MAY 11

Bill Nye Saves the World: Season 3

Evil Genius: the True Story of America's Most Diabolical Bank Heist

Spirit Riding Free: Season 5

The Kissing Booth

The Who Was? Show: Season 1

MAY 13

Ali Wong: Hard Knock Wife

MAY 14

The Phantom of the Opera

MAY 15

Girlfriends' Guide to Divorce: Season 4

Grand Designs: Seasons 13 - 14

Only God Forgives

The Game 365: Seasons 15 - 16

MAY 16

89

Mamma Mia!

The 40-Year-Old Virgin

The Kingdom

Wanted

MAY 18

Cargo

Catching Feelings

Inspector Gadget: Season 4

MAY 19

Bridge to Terabithia

Disney’s Scandal: Season 7

Small Town Crime

MAY 20

Some Kind of Beautiful

MAY 21

Señora Acero: Season 4

MAY 22

Mob Psycho 100: Season 1

Shooter: Season 2

Terrace House: Opening New Doors: Part 2

Tig Notaro Happy To Be Here

MAY 23

Explained

MAY 24

Fauda: Season 2

Survivors Guide to Prison

MAY 25

Ibiza

Steve Martin and Martin Short: An Evening You Will Forget for the Rest of Your Life

The Toys That Made Us: Season 2

Trollhunters: Part 3

MAY 26

Sara's Notebook

MAY 27

The Break with Michelle Wolf

MAY 29

Disney·Pixar's Coco

MAY 30

Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt: Season 4

MAY 31

Bombshell: The Hedy Lamarr Story

My Next Guest Needs No Introduction With David Letterman: Howard Stern

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Solve a Murder Mystery (and Eat Cheesecake) with The Golden Girls
NBC
NBC

Something is rotten in the city of Miami. A murder has been committed—and nobody knows who’s behind the dastardly crime. The police are likely no match for the killer, so it’s up to the Golden Girls characters to combine their wits (over cheesecake, of course) to crack the case. But they can’t do it without your help.

That’s right: Peddler’s Village, a quaint shopping village in Lahaska, Pennsylvania, is now offering a Golden Girls Murder Mystery dinner and show every Friday and Saturday night through August 25, 2018. The whodunit takes place at Peddler's Pub at the Cock 'n Bull Restaurant, at 7 p.m.

While the major plot details have been kept under wraps (it is a murder mystery, after all), we do know that Dorothy, Blanche, Rose, and Sophia have "invited a couple of well known detectives to join the party and discuss their famous capers." And given that the show is titled "The Golden Girls: The Curse of Jessica Fletcher," we can only guess (and hope) that an amateur sleuth from Cabot Cove, Maine will be making an appearance.

It's not the first time Peddler's Pub has hosted the gals from Miami; the current show is a sequel of sorts to the original Golden Girls Murder Mystery that Peddler's Pub put on back in 2016. Fun fact: Mental Floss Editor-in-Chief Erin McCarthy beat out a room full of other Betty White sangria-drinking armchair detectives to correctly solve the mystery during its original run. (She has the mug to prove it.)

Tickets are $69.95 per person, and you can make a reservation (which is required) by calling 215-794-4051. As for what you'll be dining on: You can scope out the menu online (and yes, the Girls’ favorite dessert is involved).

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