Halloween Costumes to Inflict Upon the Innocent

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A big part of the fun on Halloween is to dress your children in costumes you would never wear yourself. Sooner or later, they will rebel and let you know in no uncertain terms that they will not be seen in public in your fantasy getup. Even if they aren't embarrassed, there may be vision or mobility problems with an elaborate costume. So make those fantasies happen while your child is a helpless infant, unable to say no.

Don't they look adorable when they're about to be cooked? You'll find this lobster costume at Amazon. Cookware not included. As for the recipe, you're on your own. Babies don't have any costume mobility problems when they have a parent to carry them around, whether in their arms or a cooking pot!

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Babies can be dressed as everyday objects. Well, maybe a whoopie cushion isn't an everyday object at your house like it is in mine, but you can find this and more commonly found items to dress your baby in, including candy bars, fruit, pizza, and a Little Tree Car Freshener at Prank Place. Incidently, I found a half-dozen ways of spelling "whoopie" while tracing this costume to its source.

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Not having to use your legs for walking opens up possibilities for Halloween costumes that older children and adults cannot use. This jack in the box costume is fine for a baby to be carried in.

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Isabelle Ortley designed a feast of baby costumes that are featured on Martha Stewart's website. This roast turkey looks delicious! You can also dress your baby as a pie or a lobster with instructions at the site. You can see all these edible babies in this video.

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What if your baby is crawling? Use that development to your advantage in selecting a costume. This baby snail costume is available at Amazon.

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Your baby doesn't yet know how to control his arms and legs, but he can still portray someone who does! This infant Elvis costume comes with its own arms and legs on display, while Junior keeps his own limbs snuggled up inside.

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Putting a mermaid's tail on your infant was clever at one time, but now you can go the octopus route! Octobaby and Carriage Critter were designed by Specter Studios.

I just have one observation. Imagine breastfeeding your little monster in public. Picture what that scene looks like with your baby's head obscured by a shirt flap or towel for modesty, while the octopus or arthropod end sticks out for the world to see.

See more baby octopous and squid costumes.

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You can't beat homemade costumes for imagination and craftsmanship. Michelle made this darling Cthulhu Halloween costume for her son Alistair.

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The current super hero craze doesn't exclude babies! Besides this Batbaby costume, see The Hulk and Superbaby, too!

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Dogs are often willing victims of their owners Halloween excesses. I've seen this picture of a Cerberus, the 3-headed dog costume all over, but have yet to find the original source. There is another three-headed dog in this post with the proper Harry Potter accompaniment.

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An agreeable dog can carry a lot for Halloween, like the headless horseman or a knight in shining armor.

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The famous picture of a dog being eaten by an alligator is not a Halloween costume, no matter how badly you want it. It was a street promotion to get people to visit the Zoo Neunkirchen in Germany. The slogan was "Come to the zoo before the zoo comes to you."

See more funny dog costumes here, here, and here.

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Can you get a cat to wear a Halloween costume? Maybe for just long enough to take a picture! Or you can design one that's hard to get out of. Instructables has a design for a "catahedron", a platonic solid made of fabric. The most necessary ingredient is a very patient cat.

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October 28, 2008 - 6:00am
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