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Bios on Official SNL Page surprisingly Harsh

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While Saturday Night Live enjoys its reputation for refusing to pull punches on-air, who knew that the show's commitment to objectivity extended to their staff bios? I'm a huge fan of the show, but was stunned by the brutally honest (and harsh) way they've written about the former cast members on SNL's site. Here are just a few of the chestnuts that are currently published online.

From Chevy Chase's bio

Picture 13.png"... The mega-hits "National Lampoon's Vacation" and "Fletch" followed. The second half of the '80s proved less successful, and Chase found his career faltering into the '90s. His ill-fated television variety show, a number of poor professional choices, and a drunk-driving incident further removed the comic from the limelight. Today, Chase is back in top form with supporting roles in films like "Snow Day" and "Orange County.""

I really can't tell whether that last line is supposed to read sarcastically. In any case, this isn't the only paragraph like this. More zingers from the official cast bio page after the jump.

CHRIS ROCK: "... An attempt at a movie career followed his departure from SNL, but it failed to catch on."

COLIN QUINN: "... Quinn remained with the cast for a total of five seasons before leaving to start his own ill-fated sketch show... "

DANA CARVEY: "... His career sputtered after leaving SNL... "

EDDIE MURPHY: "... After leaving SNL, Murphy's movie career soared to fantastic heights, but he fell into something of a slump... "

NORM MACDONALD: "... After three years, Macdonald was famously let go from the show, but fences seem to have been mended - he soon appeared as a guest host. An uneven movie career followed... "

ROB SCHNEIDER: "After a few false starts and a failed sitcom, things turned around when buddy Adam Sandler began casting him in his movies... though these films were largely ignored by the critics..."

AL FRANKEN: "... Franken remained with the show until 1980 when he left to try his luck in Hollywood, though there were other reasons in play for his departure. In a sketch called ""A Limo for the Lamo," Franken made a number of disparaging remarks about NBC president Fred Silverman,"

It's also kind of funny to see the same sassy "joke" repeated in the entries (The post on Martin Short reads "Ed Grimley, anyone?", while the post on Cheri Oteri cleverly reads, "Arianna the cheerleader, anyone?"). And also who gets a pass. Jimmy Fallon get more praise than I would have expected for his vibrant post-SNL career. David Spade is credited with a "reasonably successful film career", while Nora Dunn is lauded as someone who has a "steady" career and whose "plate is full for years to come." In any case, there's plenty more to be analyzed here at NBC.

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Animals
Fisherman Catches Rare Blue Lobster, Donates It to Science
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FRED TANNEAU/AFP/Getty Images

Live lobsters caught off the New England coast are typically brown, olive-green, or gray—which is why one New Hampshire fisherman was stunned when he snagged a blue one in mid-July.

As The Independent reports, Greg Ward, from Rye, New Hampshire, discovered the unusual lobster while examining his catch near the New Hampshire-Maine border. Ward initially thought the pale crustacean was an albino lobster, which some experts estimate to be a one-in-100-million discovery. However, a closer inspection revealed that the lobster's hard shell was blue and cream.

"This one was not all the way white and not all the way blue," Ward told The Portsmouth Herald. "I've never seen anything like it."

While not as rare as an albino lobster, blue lobsters are still a famously elusive catch: It's said that the odds of their occurrence are an estimated one in two million, although nobody knows the exact numbers.

Instead of eating the blue lobster, Ward decided to donate it to the Seacoast Science Center in Rye. There, it will be studied and displayed in a lobster tank with other unusually colored critters, including a second blue lobster, a bright orange lobster, and a calico-spotted lobster.

[h/t The Telegraph]

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Courtesy Murdoch University
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Animals
Australian Scientists Discover First New Species of Sunfish in 125 Years
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Courtesy Murdoch University

Scientists have pinpointed a whole new species of the largest bony fish in the world, the massive sunfish, as we learned from Smithsonian magazine. It's the first new species of sunfish proposed in more than 125 years.

As the researchers report in the Zoological Journal of the Linnean Society, the genetic differences between the newly named hoodwinker sunfish (Mola tecta) and its other sunfish brethren was confirmed by data on 27 different samples of the species collected over the course of three years. Since sunfish are so massive—the biggest can weigh as much as 5000 pounds—they pose a challenge to preserve and store, even for museums with large research collections. Lead author Marianne Nyegaard of Murdoch University in Australia traveled thousands of miles to find and collected genetic data on sunfish stranded on beaches. At one point, she was asked if she would be bringing her own crane to collect one.

Nyegaard also went back through scientific literature dating back to the 1500s, sorting through descriptions of sea monsters and mermen to see if any of the documentation sounded like observations of the hoodwinker. "We retraced the steps of early naturalists and taxonomists to understand how such a large fish could have evaded discovery all this time," she said in a press statement. "Overall, we felt science had been repeatedly tricked by this cheeky species, which is why we named it the 'hoodwinker.'"

Japanese researchers first detected genetic differences between previously known sunfish and a new, unknown species 10 years ago, and this confirms the existence of a whole different type from species like the Mola mola or Mola ramsayi.

Mola tecta looks a little different from other sunfish, with a more slender body. As it grows, it doesn't develop the protruding snout or bumps that other sunfish exhibit. Similarly to the others, though, it can reach a length of 8 feet or more. 

Based on the stomach contents of some of the specimens studied, the hoodwinker likely feeds on salps, a jellyfish-like creature that it probably chomps on (yes, sunfish have teeth) during deep dives. The species has been found near New Zealand, Australia, South Africa, and southern Chile.

[h/t Smithsonian]

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