CLOSE
Original image

5 City Council Crazies!

Original image

Maybe you can't fight city hall ... but you can certainly drive them nuts. Most local government proceedings like city council meetings have a mandatory "public comment" segment, in which members of the audience can stand up and "have their say" for a proscribed (and thankfully short) amount of time -- whether what they have to say is relevant to the proceedings, or the ramblings of a madman. The ones that end up on YouTube, more often than not, fall into the latter category -- with hilarious results! Let's take a look at some of the weirdness our city councils are forced to put up with every day. All we can say is, thank goodness they tape these things.

Terrorist Pu$$sies and Rogue Helicopter Pilots

David Thompson took the podium at a Jan 28, 2002 meeting of the Charlotte, NC City Council, and his comments prompted one councilman to ask Thompson to tone it down for fear he might be "scaring the Boy Scouts we have in the audience today." Needless to say, his insane rant is YouTube gold.

"Here's a little song. Sorry about this ..."

When the Austin, TX City Council introduced a resolution that would mandate the use of a helmet while riding a bicycle, some libertarian-minded citizens took issue. One even wrote a protest song about it -- and there was nothing anyone could do to stop her from singing it.

Arrested for dropping the f-bomb

Comedian James Inman appeared before the Seattle City Council just after the infamous WTO protests to describe the time he got arrested for saying the "f-word." His rant is downright hilarious, eventually turning into a kind of almost-obscene beat poem, and earns him a standing ovation from the audience.

"Is this gonna be on YouTube tonight?"

Scranton, PA gadfly Ray Lyman is locally infamous for appearing at almost every meeting of the City Council and incoherently threatening to sue the mayor and/or council members. His screeds became so well-known that they garnered a small following on YouTube (which even the council members seem to be aware of), and someone was kind enough to make Ray his own page on MySpace. Everyone except Ray seems to regard him as a one-man comedy team.

Cathy Brandenhorst Jedi Council

Brandenhorst is a fixture at San Jose City Council meetings, where her weekly complaints about lasers, Mexicans with AIDS and homicidal city officials have made her both a pariah and an occasional dose of comic relief. Metroactive did a piece featuring her, and they transcribe one of her more colorful rants:

A woman seated in the middle of the council chambers gets out of her seat and walks toward the podium. She is wearing black sneakers, black pants and a black shirt. She has long, straight gray hair, which is pulled back into a pony tail fastened by a smart black-and-white bow. Everyone in the chamber has seen her many, many times before.

"My name is Cathy Brandhorst," she begins slowly. "I came today because"--she pauses to gather herself--"I guess it's a difficult situation. I was a kidnapped child. And I was kidnapped by Priscilla Presley." The council has not heard this one before from Brandhorst, who has been coming here to speak during the so-called "oral communications" segment of the council's meetings for years. Some council members listen, blinking.

"She had kidnapped me when I was a small baby," she continues. "It all began--I was also an entertainer. I was very small when I started entertaining. ... I became a very popular singer and a dancer at the same time. I continued to be an entertainer until I was approximately 14 years old. I was also a very abused child." Brandhorst holds up a National Enquirer she has brought with her for the council to see. By now, most council members are either suppressing laughter or talking to a colleague, not paying attention to Brandhorst.

"They keep putting my baby picture in [the tabloid]," she says, pointing to photos of murdered beauty-contest princess JonBenet Ramsey. "I am this missing person and I can prove it. This child has cords around her neck; I also have the same cord marks around my neck." She now abruptly segues into her finale: "As I continue to say, you people are all from Mexico. You continue to murder children, you kidnap children. ... It doesn't make any difference who you murder, who you destroy. ... We all deserve a way to stay alive without being murdered."

Rather than showing you a simple clip of Brandenhorst speaking, we found something much more entertaining: an enterprising computer graphics whiz has edited Brandenhorst into a meeting of the Jedi Council, and the cutaways to Ewan MacGregor, Sam Jackson and Yoda's reactions are priceless.

Original image
iStock // Ekaterina Minaeva
technology
arrow
Man Buys Two Metric Tons of LEGO Bricks; Sorts Them Via Machine Learning
May 21, 2017
Original image
iStock // Ekaterina Minaeva

Jacques Mattheij made a small, but awesome, mistake. He went on eBay one evening and bid on a bunch of bulk LEGO brick auctions, then went to sleep. Upon waking, he discovered that he was the high bidder on many, and was now the proud owner of two tons of LEGO bricks. (This is about 4400 pounds.) He wrote, "[L]esson 1: if you win almost all bids you are bidding too high."

Mattheij had noticed that bulk, unsorted bricks sell for something like €10/kilogram, whereas sets are roughly €40/kg and rare parts go for up to €100/kg. Much of the value of the bricks is in their sorting. If he could reduce the entropy of these bins of unsorted bricks, he could make a tidy profit. While many people do this work by hand, the problem is enormous—just the kind of challenge for a computer. Mattheij writes:

There are 38000+ shapes and there are 100+ possible shades of color (you can roughly tell how old someone is by asking them what lego colors they remember from their youth).

In the following months, Mattheij built a proof-of-concept sorting system using, of course, LEGO. He broke the problem down into a series of sub-problems (including "feeding LEGO reliably from a hopper is surprisingly hard," one of those facts of nature that will stymie even the best system design). After tinkering with the prototype at length, he expanded the system to a surprisingly complex system of conveyer belts (powered by a home treadmill), various pieces of cabinetry, and "copious quantities of crazy glue."

Here's a video showing the current system running at low speed:

The key part of the system was running the bricks past a camera paired with a computer running a neural net-based image classifier. That allows the computer (when sufficiently trained on brick images) to recognize bricks and thus categorize them by color, shape, or other parameters. Remember that as bricks pass by, they can be in any orientation, can be dirty, can even be stuck to other pieces. So having a flexible software system is key to recognizing—in a fraction of a second—what a given brick is, in order to sort it out. When a match is found, a jet of compressed air pops the piece off the conveyer belt and into a waiting bin.

After much experimentation, Mattheij rewrote the software (several times in fact) to accomplish a variety of basic tasks. At its core, the system takes images from a webcam and feeds them to a neural network to do the classification. Of course, the neural net needs to be "trained" by showing it lots of images, and telling it what those images represent. Mattheij's breakthrough was allowing the machine to effectively train itself, with guidance: Running pieces through allows the system to take its own photos, make a guess, and build on that guess. As long as Mattheij corrects the incorrect guesses, he ends up with a decent (and self-reinforcing) corpus of training data. As the machine continues running, it can rack up more training, allowing it to recognize a broad variety of pieces on the fly.

Here's another video, focusing on how the pieces move on conveyer belts (running at slow speed so puny humans can follow). You can also see the air jets in action:

In an email interview, Mattheij told Mental Floss that the system currently sorts LEGO bricks into more than 50 categories. It can also be run in a color-sorting mode to bin the parts across 12 color groups. (Thus at present you'd likely do a two-pass sort on the bricks: once for shape, then a separate pass for color.) He continues to refine the system, with a focus on making its recognition abilities faster. At some point down the line, he plans to make the software portion open source. You're on your own as far as building conveyer belts, bins, and so forth.

Check out Mattheij's writeup in two parts for more information. It starts with an overview of the story, followed up with a deep dive on the software. He's also tweeting about the project (among other things). And if you look around a bit, you'll find bulk LEGO brick auctions online—it's definitely a thing!

Original image
iStock
Sponsor Content: BarkBox
arrow
8 Common Dog Behaviors, Decoded
May 25, 2017
Original image
iStock

Dogs are a lot more complicated than we give them credit for. As a result, sometimes things get lost in translation. We’ve yet to invent a dog-to-English translator, but there are certain behaviors you can learn to read in order to better understand what your dog is trying to tell you. The more tuned-in you are to your dog’s emotions, the better you’ll be able to respond—whether that means giving her some space or welcoming a wet, slobbery kiss. 

1. What you’ll see: Your dog is standing with his legs and body relaxed and tail low. His ears are up, but not pointed forward. His mouth is slightly open, he’s panting lightly, and his tongue is loose. His eyes? Soft or maybe slightly squinty from getting his smile on.

What it means: “Hey there, friend!” Your pup is in a calm, relaxed state. He’s open to mingling, which means you can feel comfortable letting friends say hi.

2. What you’ll see: Your dog is standing with her body leaning forward. Her ears are erect and angled forward—or have at least perked up if they’re floppy—and her mouth is closed. Her tail might be sticking out horizontally or sticking straight up and wagging slightly.

What it means: “Hark! Who goes there?!” Something caught your pup’s attention and now she’s on high alert, trying to discern whether or not the person, animal, or situation is a threat. She’ll likely stay on guard until she feels safe or becomes distracted.

3. What you’ll see: Your dog is standing, leaning slightly forward. His body and legs are tense, and his hackles—those hairs along his back and neck—are raised. His tail is stiff and twitching, not swooping playfully. His mouth is open, teeth are exposed, and he may be snarling, snapping, or barking excessively.

What it means: “Don’t mess with me!” This dog is asserting his social dominance and letting others know that he might attack if they don’t defer accordingly. A dog in this stance could be either offensively aggressive or defensively aggressive. If you encounter a dog in this state, play it safe and back away slowly without making eye contact.

4. What you’ll see: As another dog approaches, your dog lies down on his back with his tail tucked in between his legs. His paws are tucked in too, his ears are flat, and he isn’t making direct eye contact with the other dog standing over him.

What it means: “I come in peace!” Your pooch is displaying signs of submission to a more dominant dog, conveying total surrender to avoid physical confrontation. Other, less obvious, signs of submission include ears that are flattened back against the head, an avoidance of eye contact, a tongue flick, and bared teeth. Yup—a dog might bare his teeth while still being submissive, but they’ll likely be clenched together, the lips opened horizontally rather than curled up to show the front canines. A submissive dog will also slink backward or inward rather than forward, which would indicate more aggressive behavior.

5. What you’ll see: Your dog is crouching with her back hunched, tail tucked, and the corner of her mouth pulled back with lips slightly curled. Her shoulders, or hackles, are raised and her ears are flattened. She’s avoiding eye contact.

What it means: “I’m scared, but will fight you if I have to.” This dog’s fight or flight instincts have been activated. It’s best to keep your distance from a dog in this emotional state because she could attack if she feels cornered.

6. What you’ll see: You’re staring at your dog, holding eye contact. Your dog looks away from you, tentatively looks back, then looks away again. After some time, he licks his chops and yawns.

What it means: “I don’t know what’s going on and it’s weirding me out.” Your dog doesn’t know what to make of the situation, but rather than nipping or barking, he’ll stick to behaviors he knows are OK, like yawning, licking his chops, or shaking as if he’s wet. You’ll want to intervene by removing whatever it is causing him discomfort—such as an overly grabby child—and giving him some space to relax.

7. What you’ll see: Your dog has her front paws bent and lowered onto the ground with her rear in the air. Her body is relaxed, loose, and wiggly, and her tail is up and wagging from side to side. She might also let out a high-pitched or impatient bark.

What it means: “What’s the hold up? Let’s play!” This classic stance, known to dog trainers and behaviorists as “the play bow,” is a sign she’s ready to let the good times roll. Get ready for a round of fetch or tug of war, or for a good long outing at the dog park.

8. What you’ll see: You’ve just gotten home from work and your dog rushes over. He can’t stop wiggling his backside, and he may even lower himself into a giant stretch, like he’s doing yoga.

What it means: “OhmygoshImsohappytoseeyou I love you so much you’re my best friend foreverandeverandever!!!!” This one’s easy: Your pup is overjoyed his BFF is back. That big stretch is something dogs don’t pull out for just anyone; they save that for the people they truly love. Show him you feel the same way with a good belly rub and a handful of his favorite treats.

The best way to say “I love you” in dog? A monthly subscription to BarkBox. Your favorite pup will get a package filled with treats, toys, and other good stuff (and in return, you’ll probably get lots of sloppy kisses). Visit BarkBox to learn more.

SECTIONS
BIG QUESTIONS
BIG QUESTIONS
WEATHER WATCH
BE THE CHANGE
JOB SECRETS
QUIZZES
WORLD WAR 1
SMART SHOPPING
STONES, BONES, & WRECKS
#TBT
THE PRESIDENTS
WORDS
RETROBITUARIES