Bierstick

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The world was waiting for a contraption that addressed one of mankind's most pressing needs -how to drink beer faster. The wait is over, because Bierstick is here!

This giant syringe can deliver 24 ounces of liquid to the back of your throat in two seconds flat. Alrighty then. It boasts a friction-fit mouthpiece that leaves no mess, at least as you drink. What happens afterward is anyone's guess. And it's small enough to fit into a backpack. You load the Bierstick with beer (you are warned NOT to use any other alcoholic beverage) and put the business end in your mouth. Then you prop the plunger end against a wall and lean on it to shoot beer into your mouth at a high rate of volume. Don't forget to swallow, or your cheeks may explode.
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Are parties really so short these days that it's important to drink that fast?  I guess so, because the Bierstick is currently sold out. You can still see some scantily-clad models at the site. Then again, this might just be a way around having to actually taste the stuff, in which case you should upgrade your brand. If you've already bought one and are wondering whether it's safe to use, then you haven't thought this all the way through. The company has a page of disclaimers, with a rather long list of potential occurrences they do not want to be responsible for. The Bierstick retails for $19.95 plus tax and shipping.

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June 16, 2008 - 3:36am
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