Passive-aggressive notes

The passive-aggressive note is a fine art. Not that I'm the master of it or anything -- I like to think that I tackle my interpersonal conflicts a little more head-on -- but once in a while, it seems like the most appropriate method of engagement. For instance, one of my neighbors has a big, barky dog, and they leave it home all day. It just barks and barks. Lately they've taken to leaving the windows of their apartment open, transforming what were once mere low-frequency booming echo barks into full-spectrum ear-piercers. There are lots of people in my building, and I know it annoys them too. So why should I be the one jerk who goes up to them in person to suggest their dog be donated to the glue factory? (Or the whatever-you-make-dogs-into factory?) No need -- the anonymous, passive-aggressive note is the perfect tool for this kind of situation.

But you can go overboard. You don't want to be too aggressive, and there are situations in which such notes are just inappropriate. Luckily for us, to anyone who's not the leaver or receiver, those notes can be downright hilarious. Which is the topic of today's post. Before we get there, though, let us know -- have you ever left a passive-aggressive note? What did it say? Did it have the desired effect?

What? No tip? But the servers will have their revenge:

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This one may hold the record for being the note addressed to the most people at once -- everyone who's not American.

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Who's this kid, and why is he allowed to put boogers on the wall?

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I'm sure they keep a whole basket of free puppies behind the counter, just waiting to be given out.

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Something about the overly formal language here (and the inappropriate use of "whom" -- love it!) makes this note especially passive-aggressive and condescending. Like when cops call you "sir" as they're lecturing you.

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Extra credit for use of visuals!

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The backstory here is a little complicated -- according to passiveaggressivenotes.com,
"Rene" is a tenant, long over due on her rent, and the note-leaver is her strange, paranoid landlord, Terry. Apparently she smokes in her not-paid-for apartment, too.

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... and happy holidays!

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The Simple Way to Reheat Your French Fries and Not Have Them Turn Into a Soggy Mess
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Some restaurant dishes are made to be doggy-bagged and reheated in the microwave the next day. Not French fries: The more crispy and delectable they are when they first arrive on your table, the more of a soggy disappointment they’ll be when you try to revive them at home. But as The Kitchn recently shared, there’s a secret to making leftover fries you’ll actually enjoy eating.

The key is to avoid the microwave altogether. Much of the appeal of fries comes from their crunchy, golden-brown exterior and their creamy potato center. This texture contrast is achieved by deep-frying, and all it takes is a few rotations around a microwave to melt it away. As the fries heat up, they create moisture, transforming all those lovely crispy parts into a flabby mess.

If you want your fries to maintain their crunch, you need to recreate the conditions they were cooked in initially. Set a large pan filled with about 2 tablespoons of oil for every 1 cup of fries you want to cook over medium-high heat. When you see the oil start to shimmer, add the fries in a single layer. After about a minute, flip them over and allow them to cook for half a minute to a minute longer.

By heating up fries with oil in a skillet, you produce something called the Maillard Reaction: This happens when high heat transforms proteins and sugars in food, creating the browning effect that gives fried foods their sought-after color, texture, and taste.

After your fries are nice and crisp, pull them out of the pan with tongs or a spatula, set them on a paper towel to absorb excess oil, and sprinkle them with salt. Now all you need is a perfect burger to feel like you’re eating a restaurant-quality meal at home.

[h/t The Kitchn]

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Bone Collector
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