CLOSE

All Singing! All Dancing! All Failures! 4 Variety Shows that Failed to Find an Audience

These days, the TV listings are full of reality shows, with The Mole, American Gladiators, and America's Next Top Model providing entertainment to the masses. Back in the day, though, variety shows such as Rowan & Martin's Laugh-In and The Carol Burnett Show brought an entirely different form of entertainment into American living rooms. But not every variety show worked. Here are four series that lasted fewer than ten episodes (with one that didn't even make it through the first commercial break).

The Brady Bunch Variety Hour, 1977

The Brady Bunch Variety Hour has the dubious honor of being one of the worst shows ever to air on television (it placed fourth in a 2002 TV Guide list of 50 such programs.) Producers Sid and Marty Krofft convinced everyone involved with The Brady Bunch to return. Well, almost everyone—Eve Plumb (Jan) was famously replaced by Geri Reischel. For the cast, the experience was mixed. The kids reportedly hated doing the show, while Florence Henderson and Robert Reed regard it as their favorite Brady experience.

The premise was a little odd. Leaving their familiar Southern California house for one on the beach, the show covers both the variety show on ABC and the behind the scenes goings-on at the Brady residence. The characters all seemed a little off too, seeming nothing like their sitcom personas. The show appears to inhabit an alternate Brady dimension, as in none of the Brady specials in the years to come ever mention a passing "Hey, remember when we did the variety show for ABC and lived near the beach?"

Audiences enjoyed the first special, but when it became a regular series, viewers were laughing more at the actors than with them. The show was cancelled after the remaining 8 episodes had aired, though it has lived on through spoofs on That 70s Show and The Simpsons. Most of the series is available on DVD, for those who absolutely must complete their Brady collection.

Pink Lady and Jeff, 1980

This one is a "what were they thinking?" moment.

Featuring female singers Keiko "Kei" Masuda and Mitsuyo "Mie" Nemoto, Pink Lady enjoyed huge success in Japan. Nine of their singles sold more than a million copies. Their first step towards a career in the US was a concert in Las Vegas, which led to an English-Language album with one minor hit. This impressed producers at NBC, who had created a variety show for Pink Lady with (then) up-and-coming comedian Jeff Altman.

As producers quickly discovered Mie and Kei knew little English, and had to learn their parts of the show phonetically—a draining process for all involved. Rather than perform their own hits, the girls were forced to sing disco numbers such as "Knock on Wood" and, in this clip, "Boogie Wonderland":

The show's writing and Jeff's comedy were about as good as Pink Lady's English skills. Whatever career momentum Jeff had was killed by groaners like this:

Jeff: "You girls are the biggest thing in Japan!"
Pink Lady: "No, Jeff, the biggest thing in Japan is Godzilla!"

Pink Lady broke up a year later in Japan, and Jeff continues to do occasional stand-up appearances on The Late Show with David Letterman. Of the six episodes produced, only five were aired; all six can be found on DVD if you're desperate to see them.

Mary, 1978

Mary Tyler Moore was ready to make a comeback in 1978, a year after The Mary Tyler Moore Show had ended. CBS was happy to have her, offering a great supporting cast (including Swoosie Kurtz and newcomers David Letterman and Michael Keaton), talented dancers, and an orchestra led by Alf Clausen. What wasn't provided, however, was an audience to watch the show.

Mary tanked in the Nielsen ratings and was cancelled after only 3 of the 16 shows produced had aired. The entire fiasco cost CBS $5 million. Moore changed the format to a variety/sitcom hybrid and the show re-premiered later that year on CBS to similar success.

Turn-On, 1969

It's one of the most notorious flops in TV history, yanked after one episode—and in some markets, during the first commercial break. Ed Friendly and George Schneider , the producers of Rowan & Martin's Laugh-In, created the show, which they described as a "visual, comedic, sensory assault." Presented as though produced by a computer, Turn-On featured fast cuts (new at the time) and different styles of live-action and animated comedy. Rumors spread that the show featured full frontal nudity, and that its title was based on Timothy Leary's "Turn on, tune in, drop out." The Cleveland station that cancelled the show during the first commercial break sent ABC a nasty telegram, which read, "If you naughty little boys have to write dirty words on the wall, please don't use our walls." Most other stations dropped the show after the first episode.

Honorable Mention: Mel & Susan Together

This one not only failed to find an audience, but there's almost no record of it online. Besides IMDb's confirmation of its existence, the only mention I found was in Craig Nelson's now out-of print BadTV, which has this to say about the show that ran four weeks:

"Mel & Susan Together, 1978: If you wanted to create a smash hit variety show, wouldn't you pair Mel Tillis (the stuttering Nashville singer) with Susan Anton (Muriel cigar spokesperson and Amazon model) as the hosts? The idea here was "Hey, isn't everyone in America dying to see these two together?" and the mystery of the human spirit explored is "How does anyone come up with an idea like this?"

Original image
Family Communications Inc./Getty Images
arrow
Pop Culture
The Sweet Surprise Reunion Mr. Rogers Never Saw Coming
Original image
Family Communications Inc./Getty Images

For more than 30 years, legendary children’s show host Fred Rogers used his PBS series Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood to educate his young viewers on concepts like empathy, sharing, and grief. As a result, he won just about every television award he was eligible for, some of them many times over.

Rogers was gracious in accepting each, but according to those who were close to the host, one honor in particular stood out. It was March 11, 1999, and Rogers was being inducted into the Television Academy Hall of Fame, an offshoot of the Emmy Awards. Just before he was called to the stage, out came a surprise.

The man responsible for the elation on Rogers’s face was Jeff Erlanger, a 29-year-old from Madison, Wisconsin who became a quadriplegic at a young age after undergoing spinal surgery to remove a tumor. Rogers was surprised because Erlanger had appeared on his show nearly 20 years prior, in 1980, to help kids understand how people with physical challenges adapt to life’s challenges. Here's his first encounter with the host:

Reunited on stage after two decades, Erlanger referred to the song “It’s You I Like,” which the two sang during their initial meeting. “On behalf of millions of children and grown-ups,” Erlanger said, “it’s you I like.” The audience, including a visibly moved Candice Bergen, rose to their feet to give both men a standing ovation.

Following Erlanger’s death in 2007, Hedda Sharapan, an employee with Rogers’s production company, called their original poignant scene “authentic” and “unscripted,” and said that Rogers often pointed to it as his favorite moment from the series.

Near the end of the original segment in 1980, as Erlanger drives his wheelchair off-camera, Rogers waves goodbye and offers a departing message: “I hope you’ll come back to visit again.”

Original image
© 2002 Twentieth Century Fox
arrow
entertainment
20 Things You Might Not Have Known About Firefly
Original image
© 2002 Twentieth Century Fox

As any diehard fan will be quick to tell you, Firefly's run was far, far too short. Despite its truncated run, the show still offers a wealth of fun facts and hidden Easter eggs. On the 15th anniversary of the series' premiere, we're looking back at the sci-fi series that kickstarted a Browncoat revolution.

1. A CIVIL WAR NOVEL INSPIRED THE FIREFLY UNIVERSE.

The Pulitzer Prize-winning novel The Killer Angels from author Michael Shaara was Joss Whedon’s inspiration for creating Firefly. It follows Union and Confederate soldiers during four days at the Battle of Gettysburg during the American Civil War. Whedon modeled the series and world on the Reconstruction Era, but set in the future.

2. ORIGINALLY, THE SERENITY CREW INCLUDED JUST FIVE MEMBERS.

When Whedon first developed Firefly, he wanted Serenity to only have five crew members. However, throughout development and casting, Whedon increased the cast from five to nine.

3. REBECCA GAYHEART WAS ORIGINALLY CAST TO PLAY INARA.

Getty Images

Before Morena Baccarin was cast as Inara Serra, Rebecca Gayheart landed the role—but she was fired after one day of shooting because she lacked chemistry with the rest of the cast. Baccarin was cast two days later and started shooting that day.

4. NEIL PATRICK HARRIS WAS ALMOST DR. SIMON TAM.

Getty Images

Before it went to Sean Maher, Neil Patrick Harris auditioned for the role of Dr. Simon Tam.

5. JOSS WHEDON WROTE THE THEME SONG.

Whedon wrote the lyrics and music for Firefly’s opening theme song, “The Ballad of Serenity.”

6. STAR WARS SPACECRAFT APPEAR IN FIREFLY.

Star Wars was a big influence on Whedon. Captain Malcolm Reynolds somewhat resembles Han Solo, while Whedon used the Millennium Falcon as inspiration to create Serenity. In fact, you can spot a few spacecraft from George Lucas's magnum opus on the show.

When Inara’s shuttle docks with Serenity in the pilot episode, an Imperial Shuttle can be found flying in the background. In the episode “Shindig,” you can see a Starlight Intruder as the crew lands on the planet Persephone.

7. HAN SOLO FROZEN IN CARBONITE POPS UP THROUGHOUT FIREFLY.

YouTube

Nathan Fillion is a big Han Solo fan, so the Firefly prop department made a 12-inch replica of Han Solo encased in Carbonite for the Canadian-born actor. You can see the prop in the background in a number of scenes.

8. ALIEN'S WEYLAND-YUTANI CORPORATION MADE AN APPEARANCE.

In Firefly’s pilot episode, the opening scene features the legendary Battle of Serenity Valley between the Browncoats and The Union of Allied Planets. Captain Malcolm Reynolds takes control of a cannon with a Weyland-Yutani logo inside of its display. Weyland-Yutani is the large conglomerate corporation in the Alien film franchise. (Whedon wrote Alien: Resurrection in 1997.)

9. ZAC EFRON'S ACTING DEBUT WAS ON FIREFLY.

A 13-year-old Zac Efron made his acting debut in the episode “Safe” in 2002. He played Young Simon in a flashback.

10. CAPTAIN MALCOLM REYNOLDS'S HORSE IS A WESTERN TROPE.

At its core, Firefly is a sci-fi western—and Malcolm Reynolds rides the same horse on every planet (it's named Fred).

11. FOX AIRED FIREFLY'S EPISODES OUT OF ORDER.

Fox didn’t feel Firefly’s two-hour pilot episode was strong enough to air as its first episode. Instead, “The Train Job” was broadcast first because it featured more action and excitement. The network continued to cherry-pick episodes based on broad appeal rather than story consistency, and eventually aired the pilot as the show’s final episode.

12. THE ALLIANCE'S ORIGINS ARE AMERICAN AND CHINESE.

The full name of The Alliance is The Anglo-Sino Alliance. Whedon envisioned The Alliance as a merger of American and Chinese government and corporate superpowers. The Union of Allied Planets’ flag is a blending of the American and Chinese national flags.

13. THE SERENITY LOUNGE SERVED AS AN ACTUAL LOUNGE.

Between set-ups and shots, the cast would hang out in the lounge on the Serenity set rather than trailers or green rooms.

14. INARA SERRA'S NAME IS MESOPOTAMIAN.

Getty Images

Inara Serra is named after the Mesopotamian Hittite goddess, the protector of all wild animals.

15. THE CHARACTERS SWORE (JUST NOT IN ENGLISH).

The Firefly universe is a mixture of American and Chinese culture, which made it easy for writers to get around censors by having characters swear in Chinese.

16. THE UNIFORMS ARE RECYCLED FROM STARSHIP TROOPERS.

Sony Pictures Home Entertainment

The uniforms for Alliance officers and soldiers were the costumes from the 1997 science fiction film Starship Troopers. The same costumes were repurposed again for the Starship Troopers sequel.

17. "SUMMER!" MEANS SOMEONE MESSED UP.

Every time a cast member flubbed one of his or her lines, they would yell Summer Glau’s name. This was a running gag among the cast after Glau forgot her lines in the episode “Objects In Space.”

18. THE SERENITY SPACESHIP WAS BUILT TO SCALE.

The interior of Serenity was built entirely to scale; rooms and sections were completely contiguous. The ship’s interior was split into two stages, one for the upper deck and one for the lower. Whedon showed off the Firefly set in one long take to open the Serenity movie.

19. "THE MESSAGE" SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE SHOW'S FAREWELL.

Although “The Message” was the twelfth episode, it was the last episode filmed during Firefly’s short run. Composer Greg Edmonson wrote a piece of music for a funeral scene in the episode, which served as a final farewell to the show. Sadly, it was one of three episodes (the other two were “Trash” and “Heart of Gold”) that didn’t air during Firefly’s original broadcast run on Fox.

20. FIREFLY AND SERENITY WERE SENT TO THE INTERNATIONAL SPACE STATION.

American Astronaut Steven Ray Swanson is a big fan of Firefly, so when he was sent to the International Space Station for his first mission (STS-117) in 2007, he brought DVD copies of Firefly and its feature film Serenity aboard with him. The DVDs are now a permanent part of the space station’s library.

This post originally appeared in 2014.

SECTIONS

arrow
LIVE SMARTER
More from mental floss studios