Innovations in Toilet Paper

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Most local stores have a selection of toilet paper ranging from cheap white paper to expensive white paper. That's it. When I was a child, you could get toilet paper in pastel pink or blue, but those died out when designers decided bathrooms can be other colors. There was also the discovery that dyes can cause allergic reactions in some people (not a pleasant thought). So white it is. But only at the local supermarket. With the power of the internet, you can break free from the tyranny of plain toilet paper!

Colors

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Renova sells toilet paper in six standout colors, including black. Buy a single color, or mix several in a gift pack. Paper towels, tissues, and handkerchiefs are available in the same colors. Order online from Portugal or find Renova products in many stores in Europe.

Bathroom Reading

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Just Toilet Paper has an extensive collection of specialty paper in lovely patterns, as well as several styles of bathroom reading material. You can get rolls with bathroom information or jokes, Beavis and Butthead humor, or Monty Python Skits (recommended by the man with three buttocks).

Comics

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This paper combines your TP dispenser with your bathroom magazine rack. Read a comic strip as you unwind the roll! But ...only if you can read Japanese. I can see how this might cause problems in a shared bathroom. In the late 70s, Marvel comics got into the toilet paper business, printing an edition of a Spiderman/Hulk comic onto a roll of toilet paper. They should try that again today.

Sudoku

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If you're going to be in there a while, toilet paper with sudoku puzzles will help pass the time. It's things like this that led to the rise in homes with multiple bathrooms.

Mind Trainers

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This should be a mental_floss gift shop item: toilet paper with various brain teaser puzzles. It's called the Mind Trainer Loo Roll. Yes, there's math involved.

Potty Trainers

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Cottonelle for Kids is specially designed for toddlers in potty training. Most squares are printed with little puppy paws, but every fifth sheet has a sweet little puppy, to show you where to tear. This way, a child who can neither count nor judge amounts can know how much toilet paper to use.

Recycled

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Recycled toilet paper does not mean what it sounds like. It wasn't toilet paper previously; it's toilet paper now -made of recycled paper. Seventh Generation produces rolls made of 100% recycled paper, with a minimum of 80% post-consumer content. It's white, but not bleached. Available from Treecycle.

Revenge

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It's a little late to order for April Fools Day this year, but pranks are better when no one suspects one. Revenge toilet paper will not tear. Ever. You might not be forgiven for this one.

Politicians

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Who do you think deserves to serve as your toilet paper? You've got your choice, as more and more politicians find their way onto their own rolls.

Novelties

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You can buy many different styles of novelty toilet paper including pictures of barbwire, money, measuring tape, holiday greetings, and (my favorite) crime scene tape.

Design Your Own

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Don't see any designs that tickle your fancy? There are several companies that will custom print anything you want on a roll (or a thousand) of toilet paper. Feature your company's logo, or your competitor, or your innovative idea. There are many ways to brighten up the bathroom and put a smile on your visitors' faces!

Further reading: Toilet Paper Dispensers

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April 1, 2008 - 7:00am
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