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Names Too Long For Name Tags (Even Comically Oversized Ones)

We've all heard about celebrities who give their children, ah, unusual names. Pilot Inspektor, Moxie CrimeFighter, Audio Science, Kal-El. But this really isn't a recent phenomenon. People have been giving their kids interesting and unusual names (I'm trying to be diplomatic, here) since, well, people have been having kids.

Nicholas Unless-Jesus-Christ-Had-Died-For-Thee- Thou-Hadst-Been-Damned Barbon

There's no documentation, but it's thought that he is the song of Praise-God Barebone/Barbon, an English preacher. Nicholas Unless-Jesus-Christ-Had-Died"¦ OK, let's just call him Nicholas. Nicholas was an important part of London society and was integral in rebuilding the city after the great fire of 1666. All records show that he went strictly by the name of "Nicholas". I wonder what his gravestone says?

Louis George Maurice Adolphe Roche Albert Abel Antonio Alexandre Noë Jean Lucien Daniel Eugène Joseph-le-brun Joseph-Barême Thomas Thomas Thomas-Thomas Pierre Arbon Pierre-Maurel Barthélemi Artus Alphonse Bertrand Dieudonné Emanuel Josué Vincent Luc Michel Jules-de-la-plane Jules-Bazin Julio César Jullien

Louis was born on April 23, 1812 in Sisteron, Alpes-de-Haute Provence. His 36 names were given to him by members of the Sisteron Philharmonic. It appears that he preferred to go by "Louis Antoine Jullien", which is what he became known by when he became world-renowned for his orchestra. After traveling Scotland, Ireland and America, he settled in Paris where he was jailed for debt.

Hubert Blaine Wolfeschlegelsteinhausenbergerdorff

Hubert was born in Germany in 1904 and later settled in Philadelphia. I know; you're reading that name and thinking, "That's long, but it's not that long." Hubert Blaine Wolfeschlegelsteinhausenbergerdorff is actually the shortened form of his name. His full name was: Adolph Blaine Charles David Earl Frederick Gerald Hubert Irvin John Kenneth Lloyd Martin Nero Oliver Paul Quincy Randolph Sherman Thomas Uncas Victor William Xerxes Yancy Zeus Wolfeschlegelsteinhausenberger-
dorffvoralternwarengewissenhaftschaferswessenschafewaren-
wohlgepflegeundsorgfaltigkeitbeschutzenvonangreifendurch-
ihrraubgierigfeindewelchevoralternzwolftausendjahresvoran-
dieerscheinenwanderersteerdemenschderraumschiffgebrauch-
lichtalsseinursprungvonkraftgestartseinlangefahrthinzwischen-
sternartigraumaufdersuchenachdiesternwelchegehabtbewohn-
barplanetenkreisedrehensichundwohinderneurassevonver-
standigmenschlichkeitkonntefortplanzenundsicherfreuenan-
lebenslanglichfreudeundruhemitnichteinfurchtvorangreifenvon-
andererintelligentgeschopfsvonhinzwischensternartigraum, Senior
(which begs the question"¦ is there a Junior? And why would he do that to his son?)

The Museum of Hoaxes has looked into this one to verify it and has decided it "seems to be true," unless the people at the Guinness Book of World Records were victims of a hoax themselves. Guinness named Mr. Wolfe+585 (the name he started going by) as the man with the longest name in the world from the mid 1970s to 1983. Apparently the entry for "longest name" disappeared altogether in the late 80s.

Anna Bertha Cecilia Diana Emily Fanny Gertrude Hypatia Inez Jane Kate Louise Maud Nora Ophelia Prudence Quince Rebecca Sarah Teresa Ulysis Venus Winifred Xenophon Yetty Zeno Pepper

Anna was a British lady profiled by Ripley's Believe It Or Not! in 1929. Apparently her friends just called her "Alphabet" for short.

Sometimes, though, people given conventional names at birth just aren't satisfied to be ordinary.

Tarquin Biscuit-Barrel

John Desmond Lewis, a 22-year-old student, changed his name to Tarquin Fin-tim-lin-bin-whin-bim-lim-bus-stop-F'tang-F'tang-Olé-Biscuitbarrel, the name of a character from Monty Python's Flying Circus. He did so to contest the 1979 general election in the U.K. When the results of the general election were declared, the Returning Officer referred to John Desmond Lewis as "Mr. Tarquin Biscuit-Barrel."

bond

James...Bond

David Fearn changed his commonplace name to James Dr No From Russia with Love Goldfinger Thunderball You Only Live Twice On Her Majesty's Secret Service Diamonds Are Forever Live and Let Die The Man with the Golden Gun The Spy Who Loved Me Moonraker For Your Eyes Only Octopussy A View to a Kill The Living Daylights Licence to Kill Golden Eye Tomorrow Never Dies The World Is Not Enough Die Another Day Casino Royale Bond. No word on whether Fearn is a James Bond fan or not.

Then, of course, you have families who can't resist giving their whole brood coordinating names. Here's a couple:

Poppy Petal Emma Elizabeth Deveraux Donahue Montgomery

poppyYep, that's Without a Trace's Poppy Montgomery's full name. She has sisters named Rosie Thorn, Daisy Yellow, Lily Belle and Marigold Sun. She has a brother too. Anyone want to take a stab at his name? You'll never guess. It's Jethro Tull.

The Geldof/Yates kids

peachesBob Geldof and Paula Yates had three daughters together "“ Peaches Honeyblossom Michelle Charlotte Angel Vanessa (that's her on the right), Little Pixie Frou-Frou and Fifi Trixibelle. They divorced and Paula moved in with Michael Hutchence from INXS. They also had a daughter, Heavenly Hiraani Tiger Lily.

The Phoenixes

riverDid you know River Phoenix's real name is River Bottom? Seriously. River Jude Bottom. His dad's name was John Bottom. River's brother, obviously, is Joaquin. He had three younger sisters "“ Rain, Summer and Liberty "“ and one half sister named Trust. River, Joaquin, Rain, Summer and Liberty's mother's given name was Arlyn but she changed her name to "Heart" in 1988.

The Zappa Kids

moonObviously I can't end this post without mentioning the Zappa kids. First, there's Moon Unit Zappa, who just goes by Moon Zappa. Dweezil Zappa's given name was Ian Donald Calvin Euclid Zappa because the hospital refused to register him as Dweezil. His whole family continued to call him that, though, and he legally changed his name to Dweezil when he was only seven. Ahmet Emuukha Rodin Zappa is named after Ahmet Ertegün, one of the founders at Atlantic Records who was responsible for Frank's career. Finally, Diva Thin Muffin Pigeen Zappa came along in 1979 and earned her name because she was the loudest baby in the nursery (according to Frank).

I know I've only hit the tip of the iceberg "“ let's hear about the strange names you've come across!

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10 Fab Facts About George Harrison
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You probably know George Harrison as a Beatle, the lead guitarist of the most famous band in the world. We’re guessing that there’s a lot you don’t know about the youngest of The Fab Four, who was born on this day in 1943.

1. HE WAS ONLY 27 WHEN THE BEATLES BROKE UP.


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George Harrison turned 27 on February 25, 1970, less than two months before Paul McCartney told the world he had no future plans to work with the Beatles. It had been 12 years since Harrison had joined John Lennon’s band, The Quarrymen—shortly after McCartney, his Liverpool schoolmate—in 1958.

2. HE INVENTED THE MEGASTAR ROCK BENEFIT CONCERT.

Before Harrison organized the 1971 Concert for Bangladesh, there were performances for charity, of course. But when his friend, the great Indian sitar player Ravi Shankar, told him about the plight of Bangladeshi refugees, victims of both war and a devastating cyclone who now faced starvation, Harrison felt compelled to devote himself to the cause. He recruited stars like Eric Clapton, Bob Dylan, Ringo Starr, Billy Preston, Badfinger, and Leon Russell, and together they played two sold-out shows at Madison Square Garden on August 1, 1971. Harrison then arranged for the release of a concert album and film. The ventures had raised more than $12 million by 1985, and profits from sales of the movie and soundtrack continue to benefit the George Harrison Fund for UNICEF.

3. HE WROTE “CRACKERBOX PALACE” ABOUT HIS QUIRKY MANSION.

Harrison nicknamed his 120-room Friar Park mansion “Crackerbox Palace” after a friend’s description of Lord Buckley’s tiny Los Angeles home. The 66-acre property, about 37 miles west of London, was first owned by Sir Frank Crisp, a lawyer who lived there from 1889 to 1919. Harrison bought the estate in 1970—and quickly penned “The Ballad Of Sir Frankie Crisp,” which appeared on his first solo album, All Things Must Pass, also in 1970.

Friar Park was a strange place, with gnomes, grottos, a miniature Matterhorn, and lavish gardens, which Harrison loved to tend. According to the Victoria County History website, the house itself “is an architectural fantasy in red brick, stone, and terracotta, mixing English, French and Flemish motifs in lavish, undisciplined profusion.”

4. HE LOVED HANGING OUT WITH BOB DYLAN AND THE BAND.

All four Beatles were Dylan fans, and first met him in 1964. But Harrison felt a special bond with him, and spent weeks at Dylan’s Woodstock, New York home in the fall of 1968. The Band was there, too, and Harrison loved the collaborative atmosphere. During this time Dylan and Harrison co-wrote “I’d Have You Anytime,” which appeared on 1970's All Things Must Pass. The two would become bandmates in the Traveling Wilburys, and maintained a close, lifelong friendship.

5. THE "QUIET BEATLE" WASN’T SO QUIET.

"He never shut up," friend and fellow Traveling Wilbury Tom Petty once said of Harrison. "He was the best hang you could imagine."

6. WHEN HE LOST HIS VIRGINITY, THE OTHER BEATLES CHEERED.

The Beatles at the EMI studios in Abbey Road, as they prepare for 'Our World', a world-wide live television show broadcasting to 24 countries with a potential audience of 400 million.
BIPs/Getty Images

During the band’s early years, they had extended runs as a house band in Hamburg, Germany, and were paid so poorly (and had to be on stage for so many hours) that they shared a small room in the club’s basement. Hence the witnesses to George’s deflowering, at age 17. "We were in bunkbeds," Harrison recalled. "They couldn't really see anything because I was under the covers, but after I'd finished they all applauded and cheered. At least they kept quiet whilst I was doing it."

7. WITHOUT HIM, THERE MAY NOT HAVE BEEN A MONTY PYTHON'S LIFE OF BRIAN.

EMI Films, Life of Brian’s original backer, withdrew funding for the Monty Python comedy classic just before filming began, scared that the religious subject matter would be too controversial. Harrison, a big fan and friend of the Pythons, set up his own production company—Handmade Films—to fund the project. Why? "Because I liked the script and I wanted to see the movie,” he explained. Harrison not only saw the film, he appeared in it, as Mr. Papadopolous, "owner of the Mount.” Monty Python’s Life of Brian, released in 1979, was a huge hit in both the UK and U.S., and was ranked as the 10th best comedy film of all time in 2010 by The Guardian.

8. HE WAS THE FIRST EX-BEATLE TO SIMULTANEOUSLY TOP BOTH THE SINGLES AND ALBUMS CHARTS.

Harrison began recording the songs that would comprise All Things Must Pass at Abbey Road on May 26, 1970, just weeks after the Beatles broke up. The triple album was released in late November, along with “My Sweet Lord,” the first single from the album. Both the record and the single spent weeks at the top of the Billboard and Melody Maker charts in early 1971, while receiving rave reviews.

9. THE FIRST SONG HE WROTE WAS INSPIRED BY A DESIRE TO TELL PEOPLE TO GET LOST.

Harrison wrote “Don’t Bother Me,” his first first solo composition, while sick in bed at the Palace Court Hotel in Bournemouth, England, in the summer of 1963. It “was an exercise to see if I could write a song,” Harrison said. “I don't think it's a particularly good song ... It mightn't even be a song at all, but at least it showed me that all I needed to do was keep on writing, and then maybe eventually I would write something good." “Don’t Bother Me” appeared on With The Beatles, their second studio album.

10. HE WAS THE FIRST BEATLE TO VISIT, AND PLAY IN, THE U.S.

In the fall of 1963, Harrison traveled to Benton, Illinois to visit his sister, Louise, and her husband, George Caldwell. During his 18-day stay, Harrison also became the first Beatle to play in the U.S.—appearing on stage with The Four Vests at the VFW Hall in Eldorado. He played the second set with the band, taking over lead guitar and singing "Roll Over Beethoven" and "Your Cheatin' Heart."

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