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Names Too Long For Name Tags (Even Comically Oversized Ones)

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We've all heard about celebrities who give their children, ah, unusual names. Pilot Inspektor, Moxie CrimeFighter, Audio Science, Kal-El. But this really isn't a recent phenomenon. People have been giving their kids interesting and unusual names (I'm trying to be diplomatic, here) since, well, people have been having kids.

Nicholas Unless-Jesus-Christ-Had-Died-For-Thee- Thou-Hadst-Been-Damned Barbon

There's no documentation, but it's thought that he is the song of Praise-God Barebone/Barbon, an English preacher. Nicholas Unless-Jesus-Christ-Had-Died"¦ OK, let's just call him Nicholas. Nicholas was an important part of London society and was integral in rebuilding the city after the great fire of 1666. All records show that he went strictly by the name of "Nicholas". I wonder what his gravestone says?

Louis George Maurice Adolphe Roche Albert Abel Antonio Alexandre Noë Jean Lucien Daniel Eugène Joseph-le-brun Joseph-Barême Thomas Thomas Thomas-Thomas Pierre Arbon Pierre-Maurel Barthélemi Artus Alphonse Bertrand Dieudonné Emanuel Josué Vincent Luc Michel Jules-de-la-plane Jules-Bazin Julio César Jullien

Louis was born on April 23, 1812 in Sisteron, Alpes-de-Haute Provence. His 36 names were given to him by members of the Sisteron Philharmonic. It appears that he preferred to go by "Louis Antoine Jullien", which is what he became known by when he became world-renowned for his orchestra. After traveling Scotland, Ireland and America, he settled in Paris where he was jailed for debt.

Hubert Blaine Wolfeschlegelsteinhausenbergerdorff

Hubert was born in Germany in 1904 and later settled in Philadelphia. I know; you're reading that name and thinking, "That's long, but it's not that long." Hubert Blaine Wolfeschlegelsteinhausenbergerdorff is actually the shortened form of his name. His full name was: Adolph Blaine Charles David Earl Frederick Gerald Hubert Irvin John Kenneth Lloyd Martin Nero Oliver Paul Quincy Randolph Sherman Thomas Uncas Victor William Xerxes Yancy Zeus Wolfeschlegelsteinhausenberger-
dorffvoralternwarengewissenhaftschaferswessenschafewaren-
wohlgepflegeundsorgfaltigkeitbeschutzenvonangreifendurch-
ihrraubgierigfeindewelchevoralternzwolftausendjahresvoran-
dieerscheinenwanderersteerdemenschderraumschiffgebrauch-
lichtalsseinursprungvonkraftgestartseinlangefahrthinzwischen-
sternartigraumaufdersuchenachdiesternwelchegehabtbewohn-
barplanetenkreisedrehensichundwohinderneurassevonver-
standigmenschlichkeitkonntefortplanzenundsicherfreuenan-
lebenslanglichfreudeundruhemitnichteinfurchtvorangreifenvon-
andererintelligentgeschopfsvonhinzwischensternartigraum, Senior
(which begs the question"¦ is there a Junior? And why would he do that to his son?)

The Museum of Hoaxes has looked into this one to verify it and has decided it "seems to be true," unless the people at the Guinness Book of World Records were victims of a hoax themselves. Guinness named Mr. Wolfe+585 (the name he started going by) as the man with the longest name in the world from the mid 1970s to 1983. Apparently the entry for "longest name" disappeared altogether in the late 80s.

Anna Bertha Cecilia Diana Emily Fanny Gertrude Hypatia Inez Jane Kate Louise Maud Nora Ophelia Prudence Quince Rebecca Sarah Teresa Ulysis Venus Winifred Xenophon Yetty Zeno Pepper

Anna was a British lady profiled by Ripley's Believe It Or Not! in 1929. Apparently her friends just called her "Alphabet" for short.

Sometimes, though, people given conventional names at birth just aren't satisfied to be ordinary.

Tarquin Biscuit-Barrel

John Desmond Lewis, a 22-year-old student, changed his name to Tarquin Fin-tim-lin-bin-whin-bim-lim-bus-stop-F'tang-F'tang-Olé-Biscuitbarrel, the name of a character from Monty Python's Flying Circus. He did so to contest the 1979 general election in the U.K. When the results of the general election were declared, the Returning Officer referred to John Desmond Lewis as "Mr. Tarquin Biscuit-Barrel."

bond

James...Bond

David Fearn changed his commonplace name to James Dr No From Russia with Love Goldfinger Thunderball You Only Live Twice On Her Majesty's Secret Service Diamonds Are Forever Live and Let Die The Man with the Golden Gun The Spy Who Loved Me Moonraker For Your Eyes Only Octopussy A View to a Kill The Living Daylights Licence to Kill Golden Eye Tomorrow Never Dies The World Is Not Enough Die Another Day Casino Royale Bond. No word on whether Fearn is a James Bond fan or not.

Then, of course, you have families who can't resist giving their whole brood coordinating names. Here's a couple:

Poppy Petal Emma Elizabeth Deveraux Donahue Montgomery

poppyYep, that's Without a Trace's Poppy Montgomery's full name. She has sisters named Rosie Thorn, Daisy Yellow, Lily Belle and Marigold Sun. She has a brother too. Anyone want to take a stab at his name? You'll never guess. It's Jethro Tull.

The Geldof/Yates kids

peachesBob Geldof and Paula Yates had three daughters together "“ Peaches Honeyblossom Michelle Charlotte Angel Vanessa (that's her on the right), Little Pixie Frou-Frou and Fifi Trixibelle. They divorced and Paula moved in with Michael Hutchence from INXS. They also had a daughter, Heavenly Hiraani Tiger Lily.

The Phoenixes

riverDid you know River Phoenix's real name is River Bottom? Seriously. River Jude Bottom. His dad's name was John Bottom. River's brother, obviously, is Joaquin. He had three younger sisters "“ Rain, Summer and Liberty "“ and one half sister named Trust. River, Joaquin, Rain, Summer and Liberty's mother's given name was Arlyn but she changed her name to "Heart" in 1988.

The Zappa Kids

moonObviously I can't end this post without mentioning the Zappa kids. First, there's Moon Unit Zappa, who just goes by Moon Zappa. Dweezil Zappa's given name was Ian Donald Calvin Euclid Zappa because the hospital refused to register him as Dweezil. His whole family continued to call him that, though, and he legally changed his name to Dweezil when he was only seven. Ahmet Emuukha Rodin Zappa is named after Ahmet Ertegün, one of the founders at Atlantic Records who was responsible for Frank's career. Finally, Diva Thin Muffin Pigeen Zappa came along in 1979 and earned her name because she was the loudest baby in the nursery (according to Frank).

I know I've only hit the tip of the iceberg "“ let's hear about the strange names you've come across!

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science
6 Radiant Facts About Irène Joliot-Curie
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Hulton Archive/Getty Images

Though her accomplishments are often overshadowed by those of her parents, the elder daughter of Marie and Pierre Curie was a brilliant researcher in her own right.

1. SHE WAS BORN TO, AND FOR, GREATNESS.

A black and white photo of Irene and Marie Curie in the laboratory in 1925.
Irène and Marie in the laboratory, 1925.
Wellcome Images, Wikimedia Commons // CC BY 4.0

Irène’s birth in Paris in 1897 launched what would become a world-changing scientific dynasty. A restless Marie rejoined her loving husband in the laboratory shortly after the baby’s arrival. Over the next 10 years, the Curies discovered radium and polonium, founded the science of radioactivity, welcomed a second daughter, Eve, and won a Nobel Prize in Physics. The Curies expected their daughters to excel in their education and their work. And excel they did; by 1925, Irène had a doctorate in chemistry and was working in her mother’s laboratory.

2. HER PARENTS' MARRIAGE WAS A MODEL FOR HER OWN.

Like her mother, Irène fell in love in the lab—both with her work and with another scientist. Frédéric Joliot joined the Curie team as an assistant. He and Irène quickly bonded over shared interests in sports, the arts, and human rights. The two began collaborating on research and soon married, equitably combining their names and signing their work Irène and Frédéric Joliot-Curie.

3. SHE AND HER HUSBAND WERE AN UNSTOPPABLE PAIR.

Black and white photo of Irène and Fréderic Joliot-Curie working side by side in their laboratory.
Bibliothèque Nationale de France, Wikimedia Commons // Public Domain

Their passion for exploration drove them ever onward into exciting new territory. A decade of experimentation yielded advances in several disciplines. They learned how the thyroid gland absorbs radioiodine and how the body metabolizes radioactive phosphates. They found ways to coax radioactive isotopes from ordinarily non-radioactive materials—a discovery that would eventually enable both nuclear power and atomic weaponry, and one that earned them the Nobel Prize in Chemistry in 1935.

4. THEY FOUGHT FOR JUSTICE AND PEACE.

The humanist principles that initially drew Irène and Frédéric together only deepened as they grew older. Both were proud members of the Socialist Party and the Comité de Vigilance des Intellectuels Antifascistes (Vigilance Committee of Anti-Fascist Intellectuals). They took great pains to keep atomic research out of Nazi hands, sealing and hiding their research as Germany occupied their country, Irène also served as undersecretary of state for scientific research of the Popular Front government.

5. SHE WAS NOT CONTENT WITH THE STATUS QUO.

Irène eventually scaled back her time in the lab to raise her children Hélène and Pierre. But she never slowed down, nor did she stop fighting for equality and freedom for all. Especially active in women’s rights groups, she became a member of the Comité National de l'Union des Femmes Françaises and the World Peace Council.

6. SHE WORKED HERSELF TO DEATH.

Irène’s extraordinary life was a mirror of her mother’s. Tragically, her death was, too. Years of watching radiation poisoning and cancer taking their toll on Marie never dissuaded Irène from her work. In 1956, dying of leukemia, she entered the Curie Hospital, where she followed her mother’s luminous footsteps into the great beyond.

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Live Smarter
You Can Now Order Food Through Facebook
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iStock

After a bit of controversy over its way of aggregating news feeds and some questionable content censoring policies, it’s nice to have Facebook roll out a feature everyone can agree on: allowing you to order food without leaving the social media site.

According to a press release, Facebook says that the company decided to begin offering food delivery options after realizing that many of its users come to the social media hub to rate and discuss local eateries. Rather than hop from Facebook to the restaurant or a delivery service, you’ll be able to stay within the app and select from a menu of food choices. Just click “Order Food” from the Explore menu on a desktop interface or under the “More” option on Android or iOS devices. There, you’ll be presented with options that will accept takeout or delivery orders, as well as businesses participating with services like Delivery.com or EatStreet.

If you need to sign up and create an account with Delivery.com or Jimmy John’s, for example, you can do that without leaving Facebook. The feature is expected to be available nationally, effective immediately.

[h/t Forbes]

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