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8 Weird Theme Parks We'd Be Willing to Wait in Line For

Amusement parks aren't all fun and games. Some are strange, some are boring. But those are exactly the ones we've been hunting for.

1. The Ocean Dome

Located in Miyazaki, Japan, Ocean Dome is the world's largest indoor water park. It features a massive (460x278 feet) heated fresh-water "ocean" bedded by 600 tons of polished marble chips and filled with 13,500 tons of water, all surrounded by a three-story promenade of shops. The Dome also has its own rainforest and a volcano that erupts hourly. The whole park is covered by a retractable roof that lets the sun shine in on Japanese tanners. Sounds great, right? A place that lets Japanese urbanites get a taste of the great outdoors. Not quite. The Ocean Dome is less than 1000 feet from a real beach.

2. Grutas Park

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"Josef Stalin" and "amusement" aren't two words you normally associate with each other; but amusing or not, Lithuania's Grutas Park recreates life under the reign of the Man of Steel.

Grutas, a short drive south of the Lithuanian capital, features a zoo and a playground and a recreated gulag with guard towers and an electrified fence (you know, the same kind that Stalin imprisoned hundreds of thousands of Lithuanians in back in the day).

The real draw, though, is the 1.2-mile-long sculpture exposition, which is home to 82 Communist-era sculptures that were dismantled following the restoration of Lithuanian independence. Most of the sculptures were tossed into storehouses, people's yards and anywhere else there was room. Poor handling and storage damaged some of them, while others fell prey to scrap metal pickers. In 1998, Viliumas Malinauskas, a mushroom tycoon and former heavyweight wrestler, answered an open call from the Ministry of Culture to create a space that would preserve and display the statues. Municipalities and private citizens, desperate to dump the hunks of metal and the memories of Stalin on someone else, sent Malinauskas statues en masse. Where the petting zoo came into things, I have no idea.

3. The Nintendo Amusement Park

Why would the website for a video game theme park proclaim that there's "nothing digital"¦nothing projected"¦nothing virtual" about it? That sounds about as much fun as feeding the ducks at the gulag. What gives?

Well, the Nintendo Amusement Park has little to do with the Nintendo Corporation, less to do with video games, and isn't even really a park. It's a single "user-controlled interactive ride" (read: obstacle course) that "players" navigate using a mechanically powered harness to give them a sense of being inside a video game. If you ever wondered what a real-world Mario would look like, grab a chubby, mustachioed friend and watch as he bounces from platform to platform while strapped to a crane.

The ride is only a prototype right now, and its creators, who are just "borrowing" the Nintendo name and aesthetic, are still seeking venture capital and a contact at either Nintendo or Disney to develop a partnership.

4. BonBon-Land

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BonBon-Land is an amusement park in Denmark based on a line of Danish candy. It's sort of like Pennsylvania's Hershey Park, except most of the rides involve toilet humor and the giant anthropomorphic candy people have been replaced by topless anthropomorphic hippos.

A day at BonBon-Land treats candy-loving Danes to rides like The Crazy Turtle, The Horse Dropping and Hundeprutterutchebane. That last one, which loosely translates to "Dog Fart Switchback," is a roller coaster that takes riders on an exciting journey around giant mounds of dog poo, while speakers around the track blare fart sounds the whole while. [Image courtesy of ThemeParkReview.com.]

5. Diggerland

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Dog poo not your thing, but you still want to get down and dirty? Then head on down to one of four Diggerland locations in jolly ol' England, where you can "ride in, and drive, different types of construction machinery, including Dumper Trucks, Mini Diggers and Giant Diggers."

When they're done playing with heavy machinery, park visitors can take in a show put on by the Dancing Diggers, a stunt team that performs inside a front-end loader. [Image courtesy of midsurreylink.org.]

6. Suoi Tien Park

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Siddhartha Gautama, the historical Buddha, was a prince that gave up his material possessions, became an ascetic and sought Enlightenment through meditation. But just look at those tubby Buddha statues; there's something about the guy that screams "snow cones and water slides."

Suoi Tien Park is a Buddhist-themed amusement park in Vietnam that injects a little fun into the daily grind of unenlightened life. There are thrills like race cars, water slides and roller coasters. There are chills like the "bat cave with innumerable bats" and an air bike suspended over a crocodile farm ("which cause fearful feeling for tourist"). And then there's the serious side of the park, a Pirates of the Caribbean-style journey through 12 animatronics Hells. [Image courtesy of henrybechtold.freewebspace.com.]

7. Dracula Land

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We're cheating a little on this one, since it doesn't actually exist, and probably won't for some time. What an idea, though: A Disney-style theme park revolving around the life and times of Vlad the Impaler, Romanian folk hero and inspiration for Count Dracula. A few years ago, the Romanians drew up plans for Dracula Land and Tourism Minister Agathon Dan made big promises like underground tunnels, live bats, thousands of gallons of fake blood, millions of dollars a year in revenue and 3,000 jobs for a nearby village. But alas, foreign investors weren't impressed the Romanians couldn't finance the park by themselves.

Romania has since dropped plans to build the massive park in Transylvania. Funding was one issue, but the stake in its heart was the risk of environmental damage. The proposed site of the park is an old-growth forest that's home to 400-year-old oak trees. But Dracula Land may rise from the grave yet. Recently, there's been talk of building closer to Bucharest, or near the site of Vlad's real castle (pictured).

8. Dickens World

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Brutal dictatorships. The torments of Hell. Dog poop. Yessir, we've covered some pretty un-amusing stuff in this list. But what could be further from fun than the literary work of Mr. Charles Dickens?

If you want to experience poverty in 19th century London for yourself but don't have a time machine, then Dickens World is for you. It features the Great Expectations Boat Ride, the Haunted House of Ebenezer Scrooge and a Victorian School Room. Fun! Just stay away from that street urchin, kids, he looks like he might have a touch of cholera.

Matt Soniak is our newest intern. (Well, he's tied.) You can learn lots more about him here, or read his own blog here.

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entertainment
13 Great Facts About Bad Lieutenant
Lionsgate Home Entertainment
Lionsgate Home Entertainment

Bad Lieutenant can be accused of many things, but one charge you can't level against it is false advertising. Harvey Keitel's title character, whose name is never given, is indeed a bad, bad lieutenant: corrupt, sleazy, drug-addled, irresponsible, and lascivious, all while he's on the job. (Imagine what his weekends must be like!)

Abel Ferrara's nightmarish character study was controversial when it was released 25 years ago today, and rated NC-17 for its graphic nudity (including a famous glimpse at Lil’ Harvey), unsettling sexual violence, and frank depiction of drug use. The film packs a wallop, no doubt. Here's some behind-the-scenes info to help you cope with it.

1. THE PLACID WOMAN WHO HELPS THE LIEUTENANT FREEBASE HEROIN WROTE THE MOVIE.

That's Zoë Tamerlis Lund, who starred in Abel Ferrara's revenge-exploitation thriller Ms. 45 (1981) more than a decade earlier, when she was 17 years old. She and Ferrara are credited together for writing Bad Lieutenant, though she always insisted that wasn't the case. "I wrote this alone," she said. "Abel is a wonderful director, but he's not a screenwriter. She said elsewhere that she "wrote every word of that screenplay," though everyone agrees the finished movie included a lot of improvisation. Lund was a fascinating, tragic character herself—a musical prodigy who became an enthusiastic and unapologetic user of heroin before switching to cocaine in the mid-1990s. She died of heart failure in 1999 at age 37.

2. CHRISTOPHER WALKEN WAS SUPPOSED TO STAR IN IT.

Christopher Walken had starred in Ferrara's previous film, King of New York (1990), and was set to play the lead in Bad Lieutenant before pulling out at almost the last minute. Ferrara was shocked. "[Walken] says, 'You know, I don't think I'm right for it.' Which is, you know, a fine thing to say, unless it's three weeks from when you're supposed to start shooting," Ferrara said. "It definitely caught me by surprise. It put me in terminal shock, actually." Harvey Keitel replaced him (though not without difficulty; see below), and the film's editor, Anthony Redman, thought Keitel was a better choice anyway. "Chris is too elegant for the part," he said. "Harvey is not elegant." 

3. HARVEY KEITEL'S INITIAL REACTION TO THE SCRIPT WAS NOT PROMISING.

"When we gave [Keitel] the script the first time, he read about five pages and threw it in the garbage," Ferrara said. Keitel's recollection was a little more diplomatic. As he told Roger Ebert, "I read a certain amount of pages and I put it down. I said, 'There's no way I'm gonna make this movie.' And then I asked myself, 'How often am I a lead in a movie? Read it, maybe I can salvage something from it …' When I read the part about the nun, I understood why Abel wanted to make it."

4. IT WAS ORIGINALLY SUPPOSED TO BE FUNNY.


Lionsgate Home Entertainment

"It was always, in my mind, a comedy," Ferrara said. He cited the scene where the Lieutenant pulls the teenage girls over as a specific example of how Christopher Walken would have played it, and how Harvey Keitel changed it. "The lieutenant was going to end up dancing in the streets with the girls as the sun came up. They'd be wearing his gun belt and hat, and they'd have the radio on, you know what I mean? But oh my God, Harvey, he turned it into this whole other thing." Boy, did he. 

5. THAT SCENE WITH THE TEENAGE GIRLS HAD A REAL-LIFE ELEMENT THAT MADE IT EVEN CREEPIER.

One of the young women was Keitel's nanny. Ferrara: "I said, 'You sure you want to do this with your babysitter?' He says, 'Yeah, I want to try something.'"

6. MUCH OF IT WAS FILMED GUERRILLA-STYLE.

Like many indie-minded directors of low-budget films, Ferrara didn't bother with permits most of the time. "We weren't permitted on any of this stuff," editor Anthony Redman admitted. "We just walked on and started shooting." For the scene where a strung-out Lieutenant walks through a bumpin' nightclub, they sent Keitel through an actual, functioning club during peak operating hours.

7. A GREAT DEAL OF THE DIALOGUE AND ACTION WERE MADE UP ON THE FLY.

The script was only about 65 pages at first, which would have made for about a 65-minute movie. "It left a lot of room for improvisation," producer Randy Sabusawa said, "but the ideas were pretty distilled. They were there."

Script supervisor Karen Kelsall said supervising the script was a challenge. "Abel didn't stick to a script," she said. "Abel used a script as a way to get the money to make a movie, and then the script was kind of—we called it the daily news. It changed every day. It changed in the middle of scenes." Ferrara was unapologetic about the script's brevity. "The idea of wanting 90 pages ... is ridiculous."

8. AND THERE WERE EVEN MORE IDEAS THAT THEY DIDN'T USE.

Ferrara said a scene that epitomized the movie for him—even though he never got around to filming it—was one where the Lieutenant robs an electronics store, leaves, then gets a call about a robbery at the electronics store. He responds in an official capacity (they don't recognize him), takes a statement, walks out, and throws the statement in the garbage. "And that to me is the Bad Lieutenant, you know?" Ferrara said. 

9. THE BASEBALL PLAYOFF SERIES IS FICTIONAL.

The Mets have battled the Dodgers for the National League championship once, in 1988. (The Dodgers beat 'em and went on to win the World Series.) For the narrative Ferrara wanted—the Mets coming back from a 3-0 deficit to win the pennant—he had to make it up. He used footage from real Mets-Dodgers games (including Darryl Strawberry's three-run homer from a game in July 1991) and added fictional play-by-play. But the statistics were accurate: no team had ever been down by three in a best-of-seven series and then come back to win. (It's happened once since then, when the 2004 Red Sox did it.)

10. THEY HAD HELP FROM THE COP WHO SOLVED A SIMILAR CASE.

The disgusting crime at the center of the film (we won't dwell on it) was inspired by a real-life incident from 1981, which mayor Ed Koch called "the most heinous crime in the history of New York City." The street cop who solved it, Bo Dietl, advised Ferrara on the film and had an on-screen role as one of the detectives in our Lieutenant's circle of friends.

11. THEY DESECRATED THE CHURCH AS RESPECTFULLY AS THEY COULD.

Production designer Charles Lagola had his team cover the church’s altar and other surfaces with plastic wrap, then painted the graffiti and other defacements on the plastic.

12. IT WAS RATED NC-17 IN THEATERS, WITH AN R-RATED VERSION FOR HOME VIDEO.

Blockbuster and some of the other retail chains wouldn't carry NC-17 or unrated films, so sometimes studios would produce edited versions. (See also: Requiem for a Dream.) The tamer version of Bad Lieutenant was five minutes and 19 seconds shorter, with parts of the rape scene, the drug-injecting scene, and much of the car interrogation scene excised.

13. THE "SEQUEL" HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH IT, NOR DID FERRARA APPROVE OF IT.


First Look International

Movie buffs were baffled in 2009, when Werner Herzog directed Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans, starring Nicolas Cage. It sounds like a sequel (or a remake), but in fact had no connection at all to the earlier film except that both were produced by Edward R. Pressman. Herzog said he'd never seen Ferrara's movie and wanted to change the title (Pressman wouldn't let him); Ferrara, outspoken as always, initially wished fiery death on everyone involved. Ferrara and Herzog finally met at the 2013 Locarno Film Festival in Switzerland, where Herzog initiated a conversation about the whole affair and Ferrara expressed his frustration cordially. 

Additional sources:
DVD interviews with Abel Ferrara, Anthony Redman, Randy Sabusawa, and Karen Kelsall.

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Big Questions
How Are Balloons Chosen for the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade?
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Getty Images

The balloons for this year's Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade range from the classics like Charlie Brown to more modern characters who have debuted in the past few years, including The Elf On The Shelf. New to the parade this year are Olaf from Disney's Frozen and Chase from Paw Patrol. does the retail giant choose which characters will appear in the lineup?

Balloon characters are chosen in different ways. For example, in 2011, Macy’s requested B. Boy after parade organizers saw the Tim Burton retrospective at the Museum of Modern Art. (The company had been adding a series of art balloons to the parade lineup since 2005, which it called the Blue Sky Gallery.) When it comes to commercial balloons, though, it appears to be all about the Benjamins.

First-time balloons cost at least $190,000—this covers admission into the parade and the cost of balloon construction. After the initial year, companies can expect to pay Macy’s about $90,000 to get a character into the parade lineup. If you consider that the balloons are out for only an hour or so, that’s about $1500 a minute.

Have you got a Big Question you'd like us to answer? If so, let us know by emailing us at bigquestions@mentalfloss.com.

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