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Weird names, ironic and otherwise

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Having grown up with a name like Ransom -- people sometimes assume it's a blog-world pseudonym; nope -- I know all about the blessings and curses of having a weird name. When you're young, they get you all the wrong kind of attention: teachers who can't pronounce your name during roll call; uninspired, sing-songy mocking; wedgies. When you're older, however, your name undergoes a mysterious transformation from just-plain-weird to unique, and suddenly you're a standout in a world full of Jims and Janes. There's another, entirely unwelcome transition your name can undergo, however, though so far I've been lucky enough to avoid it: weird or not, circumstance can make your name ironic. That's right: I'm just one kidnapping away from having a ridiculous name. Here are a few people (and places) that haven't been so lucky.

Oh, the irony
"¢ After a recent near-accident on a British Airways flight -- the plane lost power as it approached the runway from the air -- the pilot singled out the co-pilot for his heroism in averting disaster: "Mr Coward did a most remarkable job in landing the aircraft." Link

"¢ This was a particularly hilarious (and anonymous) comment on

A friend of ours works in the local gardening store with a guy named "Bat Dung." He asked him what his name meant in Vietnamese one day and got this story. In Vietnam, "Bat" means "8." He was the 8th child in the Dung family and his parents apparently ran out of names (or were just tired of having kids?) so they just named him "8." When he immigrated to the U.S. he hoped people wouldn't laugh at his name anymore. Sadly, that's not the way it turned out ...

A hospital that's DOA: after enduring years of jokes, R.H. Dedman Medical Center in Dallas finally changed its name to R.H.D. Medical Center a few years ago. Apparently, the name change has had no effect on the hospital's mortality rate.

Ridiculous Names from British History
Back in 2005, census-takers in Cornwall, England decided to compile a list of the weirdest names their town had ever registered. They surfaced with an impressive haul of oddities:

"My all-time favorites are Abraham Thunderwolff and Freke Dorothy Fluck Lane," archivist Rene Jackaman said. Other discoveries included Boadicea Basher, Philadelphia Bunnyface, Faithful ######, Susan Booze, Elizabeth Disco, Edward Evil, Fozzitt Bonds, Truth Bullock, Charity Chilly, Gentle Fudge, Obedience Ginger and Offspring Gurney. Levi Jeans was married in Padstow, Cornwall, in 1797.

Other remarkable duos in the marriage records included Nicholas Bone and Priscilla Skin, joined in wedlock in 1636; Charles Swine and Jane Ham in 1711; John Mutton and Ann Veale in 1791, and Richard Dinner and Mary Cook in 1802.

Who's the weirdest-named person you know (besides me)?

Thanks to Ironic Sans for the graphic.

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Let Alexa Help You Brine a Turkey This Thanksgiving
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There’s a reason most of us only cook turkey once a year: The bird is notoriously easy to overcook. You could rely on gravy and cranberry sauce to salvage your dried-out turkey this Thanksgiving, or you could follow cooking advice from the experts.

Brining a turkey is the best way to guarantee it retains its moisture after hours in the oven. The process is also time-consuming, so do yourself a favor this year and let Alexa be your sous chef.

“Morton Brine Time” is a new skill from the cloud-based home assistant. If you own an Amazon Echo you can download it for free by going online or by asking Alexa to enable it. Once it’s set up, start asking Alexa for brining tips and step-by-step recipes customized to the size of your turkey. Two recipes were developed by Richard Blais, the celebrity chef and restaurateur best known for his Top Chef win and Food Network appearances.

Whether you go for a wet brine (soaking your turkey in water, salt, sugar, and spices) or a dry one (just salt and spices), the process isn’t as intimidating as it sounds. And the knowledge that your bird will come out succulent and juicy will definitely take some stress out of the holiday.

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Rey Del Rio/Getty Images
Big Questions
Why Do the Lions and Cowboys Always Play on Thanksgiving?
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Rey Del Rio/Getty Images

Because it's tradition! But how did this tradition begin?

Every year since 1934, the Detroit Lions have taken the field for a Thanksgiving game, no matter how bad their record has been. It all goes back to when the Lions were still a fairly young franchise. The team started in 1929 in Portsmouth, Ohio, as the Spartans. Portsmouth, while surely a lovely town, wasn't quite big enough to support a pro team in the young NFL. Detroit radio station owner George A. Richards bought the Spartans and moved the team to Detroit in 1934.

Although Richards's new squad was a solid team, they were playing second fiddle in Detroit to the Hank Greenberg-led Tigers, who had gone 101-53 to win the 1934 American League Pennant. In the early weeks of the 1934 season, the biggest crowd the Lions could draw for a game was a relatively paltry 15,000. Desperate for a marketing trick to get Detroit excited about its fledgling football franchise, Richards hit on the idea of playing a game on Thanksgiving. Since Richards's WJR was one of the bigger radio stations in the country, he had considerable clout with his network and convinced NBC to broadcast a Thanksgiving game on 94 stations nationwide.

The move worked brilliantly. The undefeated Chicago Bears rolled into town as defending NFL champions, and since the Lions had only one loss, the winner of the first Thanksgiving game would take the NFL's Western Division. The Lions not only sold out their 26,000-seat stadium, they also had to turn fans away at the gate. Even though the juggernaut Bears won that game, the tradition took hold, and the Lions have been playing on Thanksgiving ever since.

This year, the Lions host the Minnesota Vikings.


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The Cowboys, too, jumped on the opportunity to play on Thanksgiving as an extra little bump for their popularity. When the chance to take the field on Thanksgiving arose in 1966, it might not have been a huge benefit for the Cowboys. Sure, the Lions had filled their stadium for their Thanksgiving games, but that was no assurance that Texans would warm to holiday football so quickly.

Cowboys general manager Tex Schramm, though, was something of a marketing genius; among his other achievements was the creation of the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders.

Schramm saw the Thanksgiving Day game as a great way to get the team some national publicity even as it struggled under young head coach Tom Landry. Schramm signed the Cowboys up for the game even though the NFL was worried that the fans might just not show up—the league guaranteed the team a certain gate revenue in case nobody bought tickets. But the fans showed up in droves, and the team broke its attendance record as 80,259 crammed into the Cotton Bowl. The Cowboys beat the Cleveland Browns 26-14 that day, and a second Thanksgiving pigskin tradition caught hold. Since 1966, the Cowboys have missed having Thanksgiving games only twice.

Dallas will take on the Los Angeles Chargers on Thursday.


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In 2006, because 6-plus hours of holiday football was not sufficient, the NFL added a third game to the Thanksgiving lineup. This game is not assigned to a specific franchise—this year, the Washington Redskins will welcome the New York Giants.

Re-running this 2008 article a few days before the games is our Thanksgiving tradition.


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