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5 Dumb Moments in TV Careers

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I suppose that unless you hire Sylvia Browne as your manager, it's impossible to predict which TV shows are going to be hits when considering prospective scripts. But it's always fun to laugh at self-important celebrities after the fact, isn't it? Or do I just have a mean streak?

1. Jerry Van Dyke turns down Gilligan

03.jpgWe've all read interviews with actors who lament about being typecast, and that list includes some of the folks who worked on Gilligan's Island. Interestingly enough, Bob Denver almost didn't get the title role because series creator Sherwood Schwartz couldn't picture Denver as anyone but the bearded beatnik Maynard G. Krebs from The Many Loves of Dobie Gillis. The actor that Schwarz thought would be perfect for the part of Gilligan was Jerry Van Dyke, who had perfected the art of playing a hapless goofball. Van Dyke, in a typically savvy career move, turned down the offer, describing the script as "inane."

Instead, he accepted the lead on a different sitcom, My Mother the Car. Hmmm... stranded castaways, or mom reincarnated as an automobile?

Which one ranks higher on the inanity meter?

The famous TV roles Mickey Rooney and Bing Crosby could have had, after the jump.

2. Mickey Rooney rejects All in the Family

05.jpgNorman Lear's first choice for the lead role in his edgy new sitcom was Mickey Rooney. He pitched the role of bigoted Archie Justice (the show was called Justice for All at the time) to "the Mick" and gave him a script to read. Rooney responded, "'Norman, they're going to kill you in the street. They're going to kill you dead." He felt that such an offensive show would spell career death for anyone involved. (Even Lucille Ball commented "How can they show this on CBS?" after viewing the pilot.) Of course, All in the Family went on to not only win ratings and awards but also made a star out of the man who ultimately played Archie, Carroll O'Connor.

3. Bing Crosby as Columbo

07.jpgThe role of bumbling detective Lt. Columbo had been written with an older man in mind. Indeed, when previous incarnations of the character had appeared on stage and on the old TV show Chevy Mystery Theater, Columbo had been played by Burt Freed and Thomas Mitchell (Scarlett O'Hara's dad in Gone with the Wind). So when network execs gave the green light to starring the rumpled detective in his own prime time series, producers first approached Bing Crosby for the role. However, Crosby considered himself semi-retired, and while he didn't mind the occasional guest spot, he knew that the grind of a regular series would interfere with his first love, golf. Peter Falk seemed an unlikely replacement, but he made the role his own, and today it's hard to picture anyone else in that wrinkled raincoat, fumbling for a pencil and mumbling "Oh, just one more thing..."

4. Barbara Cowsill and The Partridge Family

09.jpgThe Cowsills were a singing family who'd hit the #2 spot on the pop charts twice, with "The Rain, the Park, and Other Things" and "Hair." Unlike other family groups of that era (The Osmonds, The Jackson 5ive), mini-skirt-clad mom Barbara Cowsill was also a part of the band. The American Dairy Association signed the family to a million dollar contract and featured them drinking milk in commercials and print ads. It was the logical next step to have Hollywood come a-callin'. A proposed TV series about a musical family was pitched to the band's manager, Bud Cowsill, ex-Navy officer and patriarch who ruled his family with an iron fist. The producers wanted the Cowsill kids for the show, since the older brothers were already getting extensive coverage in teen magazines, but they were leaning towards hiring an experienced "name" actress for the role of the mother. Bud held his ground and said it was Barb or nothing, and he ultimately got his wish. None of the Cowsill clan were used, and The Partridge Family not only made a star out of David Cassidy but also revived Shirley Jones' flagging career.

5. Van Johnson snubs The Untouchables

01.jpgWhen Desilu Productions was preparing The Untouchables for television, Van Johnson was offered and had accepted the lead role as Eliot Ness. Johnson's wife, Evie, also acted as his manager, and tried a last-minute strategy to boost her husband's salary; with shooting scheduled to begin on Monday, she phoned Desi Arnaz on Saturday night and demanded that he double Van's salary. Arnaz told Evie, "You know what you can tell Van"¦?" He browsed through the Screen Actors Guild directory and saw old pal Robert Stack listed. He phoned Stack at two o'clock Sunday morning and offered him the role. Stack (who came from a wealthy California family and didn't really need a job) asked, "Is it gonna be anything good?" Desi replied, "Amigo, we're gonna make it the best damn show in all of television."

Past 'Confessions of a TV-Holic'...

When Sitcoms Go Global
5 Cases of Unwanted Fame
When Sitcom Stars Start Expecting
7 Things You Probably Didn't Know About The Golden Girls
We Still Love Lucy
6 Backdoor Pilots (and why they belong at the back door)

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The 5 Best Sci-Fi Movies on Netflix Right Now
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Nicolas Cage stars in Knowing (2009).
Vince Valitutti/Summit Entertainment

If you’re in the mood for some speculative fiction and your pile of Arthur C. Clarke books has been exhausted, you could do worse than to tune in to Netflix. The streaming service is constantly acquiring new films in the sci-fi and fantasy genres that should satisfy most fans of alternative futures. Here are five of the best sci-fi movies on Netflix right now.

1. THE DAY THE EARTH STOOD STILL (1951)

If any film stands as a proper influence on The Twilight Zone and its use of science-fiction and fantasy to mask political and civil issues, it’s The Day the Earth Stood Still, a Cold War-era parable about an alien named Klaatu who arrives on Earth carrying a warning about warfare. Naturally, all humans want to do is shoot him.

2. METROPOLIS (1927)

Inspiring everything from Star Wars to Lady Gaga, Fritz Lang’s silent epic about a revolt among the oppressed people who help power an upper-class city remains just as visually impressive today as it did nearly 100 years ago.

3. TROLL HUNTER (2010)

A Norwegian fairy tale with bite, Troll Hunter follows college-aged filmmakers who convince a bear trapper to take them along on his exploits. But the trapper fails to disclose one crucial detail: He hunts towering, aggressive trolls.

4. KNOWING (2009)

The histrionics of Nicolas Cage: You either like them or you don’t. Knowing is Cage at half-caf: While he enjoys a few meltdown scenes, he’s largely reserved here as an astrophysics professor who stumbles onto information that could herald the end of the world.

5. THE HOST (2006)

A slow-burn monster movie from South Korea, The Host has plenty of tense scenes coupled with a message about environmental action: The river-dwelling beast who stalks a waterfront town is the product of chemical dumping.  

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11 Delicious Facts About Good Burger
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Paramount Pictures

It takes just 14 words—“Welcome to Good Burger, home of the Good Burger, can I take your order?”—to make a ‘90s kid swoon with nostalgia. Good Burger, the beloved Nickelodeon comedy about a couple of daft teens who try to save their fast food joint from corporate greed, was born out of a Kenan Thompson/Kel Mitchell sketch on All That in the mid-'90s. A year later, due to its popularity, it found itself being turned into its own live-action movie, with Brian Robbins at the helm. Today—20 years after its original release—it’s a silly cult hit that’s indelibly a part of Generation Y. Revisit the classic with these facts about Good Burger.

1. KEL MITCHELL AUDITIONED FOR ALL THAT WITH HIS CHARACTER FROM GOOD BURGER.

In an interview with The A.V. Club, Kel Mitchell explained how he came up with Ed. “I did a ‘dude’ voice, and that’s where Ed [from Good Burger] was kind of born,” he said. “I did that there at the audition. They were just cracking up.”

2. ED’S FIRST APPEARANCE WAS IN THE JOSH SERVER SKETCH, “DREAM REMOTE.”

Essentially, Good Burger was born out of a random character decision made during one little sketch. “It was where [Josh] could have a remote control that could control his entire life,” Mitchell told The A.V. Club. “So, he could fast-forward through his sister nagging, he could make pizza come really quickly. I was the pizza guy. I came to the door, and the pizza guy didn’t really have a voice, so I was like, ‘Mleh, here’s your pizza! That was the first time we saw Ed, and so they created Good Burger.”

3. ED’S LOOK WAS INSPIRED BY MILLI VANILLI.

When prepping for Ed’s debut on All That, Kel Mitchell spotted what would become the character’s signature look. “I remember I went to the hair room, and I saw these braids. It was like these early Brandy ’90s Milli Vanilli braids. I put those on, and it came to life,” he told The A.V. Club.

4. THOUSANDS OF POUNDS OF MEAT STUNK UP THE SET.

Nickelodeon

For a movie all about burgers, you better believe the production had a ton of them sitting around on set. "At one point, there was over 1750 pounds of meat on the set," Kenan Thompson told The Morning Call. "Some of it was old meat. It was so nasty. Some of the burgers would stay out there for a long time. I felt sorry for the extras who had to eat them with cold, clammy fries. But on screen, those burgers look good."

5. ELMER’S GLUE WAS USED TO KEEP THE FOOD LOOKING FRESH.

In order to keep the food looking good on screen, the production resorted to old, albeit inedible, tricks. "It was so gross, because when I scoop out ice cream in the movie, it was really vegetable shortening with food coloring,” Mitchell told The Morning Call. “When I poured milk on cereal, we used Elmer's Glue so the flakes wouldn't get soggy."

6. KENAN AND KEL CONTRIBUTED TO THE GOOD BURGER SOUNDTRACK.

Good Burger was their baby, so of course Kenan and Kel took the reins on more than just the creation of the characters, according to a 1997 interview with The Morning Call. Specifically, Kel partnered up with Less Than Jake on the hit song, “We’re All Dudes.” Because of this, the soundtrack actually charted at 101 on the Billboard 200.

7. GOOD BURGER WAS LINDA CARDELLINI’S FEATURE FILM DEBUT.

YouTube

In an interview with The A.V. Club, the Freaks and Geeks star reminisced about her breakout role in the Nickelodeon movie. “That’s my sister’s favorite role that I’ve ever played! It was so much fun. It was my first film, and it was a fantastic part,” Cardellini said. “I got to play crazy! Nobody knew who I was, and I got the part from the table read.”

8. WRITER DAN SCHNEIDER INTENDED TO GIVE UP ACTING WHEN HE WROTE GOOD BURGER, BUT HE PLAYED MR. BAILY IN THE FILM.

On creating Good Burger, writer/producer/actor Dan Schneider explained to The A.V. Club: “I’ve always wanted to write, and after I was doing All That and Kenan & Kel, I got the opportunity to do another TV show—I was still going on auditions. I realized that if I took that show, I was going to have to give up All That and Kenan & Kel. I really didn’t want to do [that] ... I passed on the acting role, and that was really the turning point, I guess, in 1996, when I was like, ‘You know what? I’m going to put my acting career on the back burner, and I’m going to be a writer-producer.’ Then I wrote the movie Good Burger.” However, if you watch the movie, you’ll notice Schneider starring as Mr. Baily.

9. THE ORIGINAL TRAILER FEATURED A SCENE THAT DIDN’T MAKE THE MOVIE.

For reasons that remain a mystery, a scene where a Good Burger customer orders “a good shake” from Ed (Mitchell), only to receive an actual bodily shaking from the Good Burger employee, didn’t make the final cut. It did, however, feature for a few seconds in the theatrical trailer.

10. KENAN AND KEL REUNITED FOR A GOOD BURGER SKETCH ON THE TONIGHT SHOW.

In 2015, Kenan and Kel reunited for a Good Burger sketch with Jimmy Fallon. This time, however, Fallon played Ed’s co-worker, while Kenan came in as a construction worker as a surprise. "We've been wanting to get back together," Mitchell told E! News. "It was just about the right project ... it felt like home."

11. THE FIRST LINE IN THE FILM IS THE SAME AS THE LAST LINE.

Appropriately, the line is, “Welcome to Good Burger, home of the Good Burger, can I take your order?”—just watch the movie.

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